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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed and upset at the way I've been flamed

217 replies

JessemyParkson · 30/08/2011 13:30

on this thread?

OP posts:
sundayrose10 · 31/08/2011 10:36

KurriKurri -Oh well done to you for coming back OP, - and I love you forever for 'woof to you lady' - it made my day

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 10:45

i give DS whatever were eating,(last night,vegi spaghetti bolognese) i dump it on his highchair tray,he smushes it,drops some of it on the floor,covers himself in it,but,mostly,scoff's it.he ate more than 3yo DD yesterday....
give her a chance to explore her food for a few days without worrying whats going in,OR about the MESS!..she might surprise youSmile

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 10:51

CLEARING YOU PLATE IS A BAD HABIT,BECAUSE IT TEACHES CHILDREN TO OVERRIDE THEIR (sorry caps) innate sense of when they are full up.
if you teach this,it can end in over eating,and therfore a life time of batting weight.

as for when to teach them to have a 'good go' you dont need to teach this yet,just when shes at an age where she recognises CONSEQUENCE (around 3 yo IIRC) if she doesnt finish her breakfast,give it to her ad lunch,doesnt finish lunch,give it to her for dinner,etc,she'll learn fast.

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 10:51

sorry about the MASSES of spelling mistakes Blush

charitygirl · 31/08/2011 10:53

Look at it like this OP - your DD doesn't know that food is just for eating yet. It's also an amazing toy, a new texture every day. She just doesn't understand an of our learned imperatives about waste, nutrition, gratitude to mum. At her age you really can't expect her to. You also dnt know how much it takes to fill her up.

Don't stress - let food be fun, never a battle.

TheORIGINALWoofLady · 31/08/2011 11:05

Thanks frigg, that does make sense.

Does it sound stupid that I'm worried about the mess as much as anything else? (me, the untidy queen!)

I'm seriously contemplating digging out an old shower curtain to put under her chair to try and minimise spillage on the (beige...!) carpet. DH's choice, not mine!!! He chose it when we bought the house, and I wasn't there to clobber him!

Also, her highchair doesn't have a tray. My mum gave it to me like that and when I asked for the tray, she offhandedly said it wasn't any good so she threw it away... Hmm

I'm making excuses now, aren't I? :( Blush

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 11:15

umm,the shower curtain is a good idea,as is investing in a tray,if you cant though,the table will have to do....the mess is a pain,but its only for a while,and its better IMHO than letting her cry-it-out.

after dinner,i just dump him in the bath,and DP clean sup the messy highchairWink

AitchTwoOh · 31/08/2011 11:20

shower curtain is a great idea, i think. and what you describe of her eating sounds (to my soppy ears) absolutely charming. i think she's doing fine, to be honest. if she's giving stuff a try, putting it in her mouth and taking it out etc, then that counts in my book.

i do know what you mean about the desserts, to some extent, but we never encountered this because we do not automatically have a dessert. so mine never expected one to be forthcoming, full stop, and were delighted when it did. but it had nothing to do with how much they ate, iykwim? (mind you i was a blw-er is my site so that had always been my 'philosophy' from the beginning.

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 11:22

ooh aitch,i read that site when i was first thinking about BLW,so thankyou very much,it's been very very useful Smile

AitchTwoOh · 31/08/2011 11:22

cheers m'dear!

FriggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 11:23

oh oh as a side note,could you teach her some basic sign's? that way she'll be able to tell you when she's full up,for exampleSmile

AitchTwoOh · 31/08/2011 11:24

btw highchair without a tray is good, unless the mess freaks you. if it does, just get an ikea antilop, they're less than fifteen quid all in and quite brilliant.

TheORIGINALWoofLady · 31/08/2011 13:00

ummmmmm... ikeaaaaaaaa

DH has banned me from there (too many packs of scissors and tea lights), but I might be able to sneak a trip there when the cat's away DH is at work and DS is back at school... My nearest is a good 50 miles away, so it has to be preplanned extremely well!

Signing is one idea! Ummm. How do I do that?! lol She's nodding if I ask her a question, but I really don't think it's because she agrees with what I'm saying! :o

That BLW site looks great! She's kind-of BLW, in that if I'm pre-planned enough to have the stuff in the kitchen, I generally try and give her finger foods, especially at lunch. And she flat-out refuses purees and mashes! If it's not lumpy and/or chewable, forget it! (apart from yoghurts lol) It's the odd occasions at lunch when I cook, and at tea times that I get panicky!

I've shot myself in the foot/made a rod on this forum re the yog thing, haven't I?! I have to confess, pudding as a rule is a rarity here too! But yoghurts feature quite a lot in my kitchen, especially because of the diet I'm following. So I kind-of use them as a pudding substitute IYSWIM? And I got hooked on using them for DD, as I was worrying she wasn't eating enough, so was trying to compensate.

stop rambling!

friggFRIGG · 31/08/2011 15:40

here are a few signs you can get books from the library or go to a signing class.
'full up' is: put your hand horizontal,palm down,under your chin (top of your neck)and tap twice.
(does that make sence?)

WhiffOfBath · 31/08/2011 18:47

Ooh, glad it wasn't you, Original Woof. I thought it wasn't your style. Smile

LineRunner · 31/08/2011 18:53

I always told my children, Your body is a temple, not a dustbin. They still take the piss out of me about that.

The point being, you don't have to eat everything on your plate once you are full. It just screws with your senses.

TheORIGINALWoofLady · 01/09/2011 12:16

Lovely frigg yes that does make sense.

I tried it out on her this morning after breakfast, and she looked at me sideways, and nodded :o

No problem whiff Wink

Thanks line, I do see what you're saying. I just fret that she might not be eating enough, iyswim, when I dish up a small portion (I specifically bought small bowls for her, and only fill them about 1/3) and then some days she'll guzzle the lot down, and others she'll pick at them.

I just have to retrain myself that hey, she's a baby at the end of the day!

FWIW, she is small for her age, both in height and build. I know these are only a guide, she's hovering under the 50th centile, and she's not gaining as the charts suggest she should... But she is chubby round the cheeks and wrists, and not much else-where. She's happy, and scooting round the place as I type, so she's got plenty of energy. DS was FAT by the time he was her age, and my CM took me to task over it! But she's so much the opposite, and I just worry!

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