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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paedophile on my street

153 replies

EarlyYearsProfessional · 30/08/2011 00:01

I live in a lovely quiet village. Alot of the residents are either elderly or young families who have been brought up in the same street..it really is lovely!

Last yr a man whose parents live on my street was convicted and sent to prison for 16 months due to looking at paedophile images (sorry dont really know correct terminology for this filth) on the internet. It was reported he was looking into the worst kind of images you can imagine. they graded it in our local newspaper..but I cant quite remember what it was...just horrendous is what I remember!

Bit of background..my husband went to school with this man. He was a family man, worked as a postie and had 2 young children..a girl and boy under 8 at the time! His parents are lovely. I always see his children playing in the garden happily. It was his wife who found the images and reported him..it was then found to be true!

My issue is that I saw him the other day. In his car, laughing and joking with both his children on front seat laughing. He parked outside his mums and dads. i told my hubby he wud take refuge there but he said he thought he wud hide out from such a family orientated village. Obviously not! Then yesterday we drove past his parents house and we saw his car. I pointed to show my hubby and sure enough we saw him running round garden with his kids!

everyone was sooo shocked when it happened as he was such a normal regular family man! I cringe now thinking that he is on the same street (a few door away). What about my children? What about my childminding business?? I just cant digest it. I know its noit his parents fault but I just dont want him living nr me..or the children of our village! Im not comfortable with keeping quiet or just pretending it hasnt happened!

How should we as a family and a village deal with this?

OP posts:
Original poster
EarlyYearsProfessional · 30/08/2011 00:28

Apologies..of course children live in cities! But as a country girl I always consider city life different. I went to uni in a city and the reason i said a city is because if i lived in one my child would not be riding up and down the street on their scooter or playing in their bathing costume. I would accept that as a part of city life my child would play in the garden or i would supervise them in a local park! (but that is of course only my small experience of city living) What I am trying to say is that as a family village i feel upset that once again children are prevented from being children/freedom of outdoors due to this individual. Of course there are the secret paedophiles.. We are all aware of that. But when you see one for real..and know of their history..and thinking of your child riding his bike or playing out..it really is scary ! I dont wish to offend anyone. I was merely hoping for genuine advice from a parent or carer! Thankyou to those who gave info about the sex offenders register and the police. I will be sure to look into this. To safeguard other peoples children and my own!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/08/2011 00:28

So he can live anywhere just as long as it's not near you?

He's served his time, and you should just be watchful of children in your care as you would normally be.

Pendeen · 30/08/2011 00:28

How should we as a family and a village deal with this?

What sort of an answer are you looking for?

Mob vengance? Retribution? Burning and hanging?

He has been released. He is therefore free. Presumably on the sex offenders register.

What else do you want?

HoHoLaughingMonster · 30/08/2011 00:29

I agree with TheMagnificent. You're being slightly hysterical about this. The chances are there's a paedophile in every town / city in the county and in many villages too. You just happen to know about this one, that's all. Nothing has changed.

bigbadtiger · 30/08/2011 00:31

You are really not helping your case here Hmm

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 30/08/2011 00:31

What everyone else said.

I was already annoyed by your exclamation marks.

festi · 30/08/2011 00:32

ffs op i live in a leafy culdisac in a city and dd does all of those things your experience is very limited. kids even go to the park on their own.

festi · 30/08/2011 00:33

its not all gangs looters and peados in the big bad city

worraliberty · 30/08/2011 00:33

But as a country girl I always consider city life different. I went to uni in a city and the reason i said a city is because if i lived in one my child would not be riding up and down the street on their scooter or playing in their bathing costume. I would accept that as a part of city life my child would play in the garden or i would supervise them in a local park!

Why?? Confused

Seriously I have never read anything so narrow minded in my whole life...and the irony of your chosen nickname is not lost on me...in fact it makes me feel bloody sad.

The TV show Little Britain comes to mind and not for good reasons either Hmm

Before you even 'think' of yourself as an 'early years professional' you really need to get some wider experience and knowledge under your belt.

fishtankneedscleaning · 30/08/2011 00:37

Worra....... Where's the flipping "Like" button??

worraliberty · 30/08/2011 00:40

No idea fish but I suspect it's stuck somwhere between the 'take your head out of your arse' button and the 'NIMBY' one Grin

Original poster
EarlyYearsProfessional · 30/08/2011 00:43

Flippin heck, i come on for a dvice and all i get is annoyed posters. Lol!

Ok, to try and diffuse the situation, I will try and help my case..god even i have a case now!

Firstly, Evenlessnarkypuffin..my exclamation marks..excuse this for bad english! I dont mean any offence.

And as for city living. Im afraid I naively have only experinced it once. On a strret with prostitutes, drugs, houses being burgled..and no children in sight! So that was where i was thinking when I said city...I did cringe a little after i posted it as I realise lots of families live in cities..and not on that one particular street i experienced.

Anyway, i wont defend my case anymore. If you think im a moron so be it!

Thankyou for the genuine thoughtful answers and opinions. As a result of this i do think I shall consider talking to neighbours. Not to mob or any other things said. Just to keep children safe.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 30/08/2011 00:47

OP why are you talking to neighbours? Do they not know?
Will you express concerns to the police?
I don't that he will be allowed unsupervised in the school yard, so if you do express concern they will go over with him the conditions of his release.

His parents may be in denial, which isn't uncommon when faced with this situation.

toniguy · 30/08/2011 00:49

Op - your concerns may be genuine, but you are making a right pigs ear of presenting your case. You come across as somehow 'superior', set apart from 'the rest of humanity, as if for some reason your entitlement to live in safety and with peace of mind are greater than everyone elses.

Look, there are paedophiles living in villages, towns and cities up and down the country. There are also paedophiles who operate opportunistically out of the area they live in. Your responsibility as a parent and childminder is to safeguard the children in your care appropriately. That would be the same if you lived in a town or city. You seem to have some odd concept that city life is inherently dangerous and nasty anyway, and therefore by your logic the nasty pedophiles should all be sent to live there away from your lovely utopian village. Sorry but that is how you come across- full of your own entitlement.

You always had a paedophile in your street. Now you know about him. So you are better off now than you were previously.

None of us would choose to have a paedophile along the street- but honestly, you come across as unpleasantly dismissive of everyone else.

MillyR · 30/08/2011 00:50

It would be helpful if somebody who knows could say what the conditions of release are. I don't know what the conditions are and I admit I sometimes get internal rage when I see a known paedophile approaching kids.

worraliberty · 30/08/2011 00:51

Well let me tell you about my one experience of living in a 'lovely village' for a month.

I was 'shunned' by most of the people in the village pub because apparently as a 19yr old Londoner I 'knew nothing of the real world'...I apparently didn't know what a farm was...I assumed fruit, veg and meat 'grew in supermarkets' and according to the locals I must have been 'surprised to see so many trees'

I won't even go into the questions about 'how I manage to live surrounded by "Nig Nogs" Hmm

Do I think all Village dwellers are ignorant, racist twats?

No I don't, because fortunately the city school I went to and the 'city' family I grew up with taught me to look at the wider picture and the bigger world out there.

Really I hope if you teach the kids in your care anything at all...you'll teach them not to be as narrow minded as some people certainly are.

GypsyMoth · 30/08/2011 00:52

You carry on as normal..... Village, city ( where as a copper I was involved with a sex offender) or hamlet!

Also, which cat offence was this?? He may have bail conditions at his parents

ilovesooty · 30/08/2011 00:52

Look, there are paedophiles living in villages, towns and cities up and down the country. There are also paedophiles who operate opportunistically out of the area they live in. Your responsibility as a parent and childminder is to safeguard the children in your care appropriately. That would be the same if you lived in a town or city. You seem to have some odd concept that city life is inherently dangerous and nasty anyway, and therefore by your logic the nasty pedophiles should all be sent to live there away from your lovely utopian village. Sorry but that is how you come across- full of your own entitlement

Well said.

GypsyMoth · 30/08/2011 00:53

Oh and we have one here in our village, he just watches. We can do nothing, but he knows we know iyswim!!

fishtankneedscleaning · 30/08/2011 00:54

OP according to your posting history your son is 7 months old........

Are you sure you have 12 years experience in Early Years Education? Are you sure you run courses on adult child development - whatever that means :) :) :)

Original poster
EarlyYearsProfessional · 30/08/2011 00:54

And as for the Early Years Professional comment...I havent given myself that name .. I have Early Years Professional Status..look it up!!

I admit my city comment wasnt helpful..and I have explained and apologised for that! But as an Early Years professional I work really hard with children and families and dont think you have any right to judge me. You dont know me so dont judge. I just care about my children and those I care for.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/08/2011 00:55

If he was convicted last year and received a 16 month sentence he will be on licence anyway. His licence conditions should protect the community in which he resides. His address will form part of his licence conditions.

ilovesooty · 30/08/2011 00:57

You dont know me so dont judge

The only judgement anyone can make is from what you've posted here...

worraliberty · 30/08/2011 00:57

I'll judge you on the narrow minded crap you've posted and thank God you don't get to be anywhere near my children with your unprofessional closed minded views thanks Hmm

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 30/08/2011 00:58

The odds are that there is at least one other person in the village who is also sexually attracted to children. The difference is that you know the man on your street is a risk to children. You know where he is, you know what he looks like, and you will be being watching him. He isn't the one to be concerned about.