to have laughed when my fil told my dh

[biddysmama]

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much

father in laws are there for weird old man advice
that and flirting over bbqs

file it under "old bloke says.." and do what suits you

YANBU about the laughing as 'being told' is really not something you can take seriously once you are older than 18.
YABU if his thinking is going to impact your decisions to continue to bf or not. Your body, kids and decision. Or are you asking for an opinion about BF...?

YANBU, the thought of 'doing as I was told' by DH is hilarious!

fwiw I bf DD1 throughout my pg with DD2, who was 10lb3oz, so I don't think it harmed her!

still occasionally bf DD1 now (as well as DD2), she just turned 4 and starts school next week. she only asks occasionally, if she pestered me for brocolli all the time and I had an endless free supply of it I wouldn't tell her no, so why say no to bm - it's not essential, but it's good for her and it's there.

Personally she is too old, she needs to be becoming more independant. I always find it weird that someone would breastfeed a walking child.

Why exactly FabbyChic? What is it you have against children who are capable of walking? WHat about delayed walkers? Can they bf indefinitly?

I think it sounds lovely- I intended to continue feeding ds1 when pregnant with ds2, but he self weaned about half way through- a couple of people have told me that the milk can change as you get more pregnant. Just eat lots and take vitamins- if anyone suffers physically it'll be you not the babies!

Women shouldn't blindly follow their husbands instructions (why would they?) so your fil was BU to raise the issue with your DH. It is of course none of his business but if he really felt he needed to comment then he should have spoke to you .

However if your husband has an opinion other than yours, whilst you don't have to do what he says, I think it is something that should at least be discussed.

I'm of the opinion that a mother who feeds a child who is long past babyhood does it as much for herself as for the child

Based on the 1 year plus ebf mothers I've met I'd tend to agree in most cases, but IMO each to their own, though ( again IMO by 2 yo it's a family choice not a necessity)

FIL may just be concerned about the practicality of feeding 3, I suspect when the next one arrives the practicalities of life will sort things out.

Awaits obligatory flaming......

Gosh, there are some very strange and uninformed/ignorant women out there. I'm not a feminist but being so unsupportive of women making positive feeding choices for their children is BU. I am so sad that Western society is encouraging women to disconnect with what is natural and support that which is artificial. (For the record, I stopped bfing at 15 months for purely selfish reasons.)

YADNBU. Your fil is also uninformed/ignorant. He should be glad that you are providing the best nutrition and a comforting natural environment for his grandchildren.

I don't really understand the independence argument - though I admit I used to feel like that (until I met extended BFers). DS is 2 tomorrow and is very independent, he's just like other boys his age, jumping and climbing etc. He's not clingy. The only difference is that first thing each morning he has a snuggly feed before he rushes off to play (unless I'm in a rush for work and don't have time to feed him)

I'm pleased that most HCPs have either been positive or indifferent to the fact he's still BFing. Only a couple of twattish GPs have said "you should really stop now" when he was only just a year old!

I suppose it depends on what people define as "too old".

For me personally I think too old is an age where the child is going to remember it for the rest of their lives. I would be rather freaked out if I had vivid memories of sucking my mothers nipples.

But I completely accept that that's just me and my own issues.

FIL sounds a little old fashioned to say the least in expecting your dh to tell you what to do.
I breastfed dc4 to one year but have recently stopped as I am pregnant, I know that you can feed during pregnancy but for me with sore nipples anyway and the fact dd seems to try and sharpen her teeth on them enough was enough.

Do what you like, they're not little for long. And the older generation is well known for being bonkers about bf anyway, having been subjected to years of anti-bf propeganda in their youth.

WHO guidelines for the UK are to bf exclusively for 6 months then alongside other foods for up to 2 years and beyond if the mother and baby wanted to.
Someone said these were the guidelines for developing countries, someone else said the guidelines were up to a year.

op you heard what your FIL said, now you hear what other mumsnetters say.

you will get your FIL's opinion from a fair percentage of people.
you do what you Feel best.
some people don't like people breastfeeding after 6 months some dont like it at all!

I fed DD1 til she was 2.5, and I can say categorically it wasn't for my benefit. She was only bfing at bedtime by then, and only because she wouldn't go to sleep otherwise - I really resented being the one stuck upstairs every night but I carried on because she wanted it and I was aware of the health benefits (she is hardly ever ill now - not even colds). I stopped when I was about 3 months pg as I was getting sore nipples and it wasn't working to put her to sleep anyway, so right for both us.

In terms of remembering it - even by the time DD2 was born she had forgotten - at least she knew she had done it when she was 'a baby' (her words), but not how recently it was.

Interesting debate - OP your original AIBU re fil - no not really but at the same time it is a waste of energy being annoyed at generational differences. Your d or sil may be annoyed at you one day :)

Any question, issue, decision to do with a child (imho) should be made with the father. Assuming the father isn't a violent rampant paedo iyswim. I really hate the continued alienation of fathers. Involving him does not erode your own rights it should strengthen the bond. My OH did the pg test and will be front and centre at birth, recieving and cutting cord etc.

Re the ebf - I know how I currently feel about ebf, I'm pg with first so no experience, and I know my feeling is based on brainwashing. I do find it a uncomfortable seeing a child come running up grabbing their mam's boob (a friend fed until ds was 5). But as others have said - what is the right age?

Back to the OH - I want him (and he wants to) to enjoy feeding his son - so after 6 months I aim to express so he can feed the boy - I guess bottle feeding may come at the price of early weaning, it did for my niece. At the end of the day, The Boy will decide :)

When I say he did the pg test - with my wee of course.

Lol at the idea mothers are doing it for themselves! I can't speak for others of course, but it is very much my ds who wants to keep breastfeeding. It gives him a lot of comfort as well as being a nutritious drink.

I love feeding newborns with their gentle suck, but find it incredibly irritating feeding a toddler. I don't relish the disturbed sleep when he wakes up wanting a feed. I would be happy if he chose to wean any time past his 2nd birthday, but I won't upset him by withdrawing something he loves so suddenly. Plus it is a good way of stopping tantrums!

Out of interest, worldsgone crazy, why do you say you're not a feminist?

I think enough has been said about breastfeeding personally. I did it, I have moved on and so have my children. That suits us perfectly. I am just as happy not continuing to bf as other women are happy to continue to bf. It really is time to find something else to argue about!

Oh and just for the record, dd1 was not really bf much at all and is waaay healthier than dd2 who was bf for months. Dd2 gets every cold going, always has a runny nose, had chicken pox far worse than dd1 and is a bigger child than dd1 was. So in my own personal experience bf hasn't shown itself to be of any benefit so far.

thisisyesterday millennia means thousands. Plural of millenium.

princessglitter that's what fils are there for, to make stupid comments and teach us the error of their ways.

am jealous. i never got to feed ds myself. i think your amazing.

genuine question ... does it take a toll on your body or any implications on baby (in the womb) when bf?

Still thinks its really weird you would breastfeed a child. Babies sure, but a child who walks?

Is it because you don't want to accept they are getting older? Is it a psychological thing for the mother?

Babies need milk sure, but two year olds who sit in prams hanging off a breast is not sweet, it is not nice, it's a bit sick to be honest.

Fabby you seem determined to make it about the mothers needs

Most babies/children wont stop much before two of their own accord. They enjoy it, it provides comfort and sustenance and undoubtedly doesn't do any harm. So why as a mother would you withdraw that from your child, without reason?

Have you actually ever seen a two year old sat in a pram hanging off a breast?

Fabby, you accept that children need milk beyond the age they start walking (whenever that may be) but you think an animal's milk is more suitable than human milk? I can't really see the logic in your argument at all. Particularly wrt walking - what has that got to do with anything? As someone pointed out earlier, they all walk at different ages. Is it just the breastfeeding part that you find strange? Would you find it more acceptable if they were drinking a bottle/cup of expressed milk?

Fabbychic, you really are quite ignorant.