to have laughed when my fil told my dh

[biddysmama]

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much

Its like dummies for comfort, just because a nipple is 'natural' doesnt mean its acceptable imho for a child to have a strop in public as it wont settle any other way and be tugging at its mothers top etc...but hey I must have sexual hang ups to think this way I guess

i dont understand what is so wrong with offering your child comfort

sheep that is bollocks. As I previously posted I'm not at the stage of knowing how I'll feel after 6m, 12m or 2 years since I'm having my first now. But I can see that a woman may not want to bf for many reasons and frankly that would be her perogative. It isn't just about sex.

Why is it ok to only have an opinion one way and anyone that doesn't agree with you has a sexual issue?

Jeez some of you are as bad as each other. A good friend of mine curtailled bfeeding at 3 months, I thought that was way too early but when I saw her crying her heart out depressed feeling trapped by the dependency I understood. Nothing to do with sex. La Leche League could have helped her but she felt she was beyond the point so she expressed and bottle fed. Anyone that judges HER CHOICE as a "sexual issue" is frankly a bit of a prick - in my ever so humble opinion.

I was warned about the holier than though brigade on both sides - I now understand those warnings.

Nothing but im not sure why it always seems to have to involve putting a breast in a mouth? Or a bottle with coke in it? Or giving kids a bag of crisps? Whats wrong with a cuddle?

This is it Pan- seems its fine for the pro bf brigade to have their view- anyone else is shouted down as being perverted/weird/sick etc.

why do people feel such a strong need for babys and chlidren to be so 'independent' of comfort?

breast feeding offers comfort? take it away!
dummys offer comfort? take them away!
toys offer comfort? take them away!
cuddles offer comfort? take them away!

its just bizarre!

but a bottle of coke or bag of crisps have NO benefits whatsoever.

its more like denying broccoli.

and i have no problem with people who choose not to breastfeed,just with people who go around saying its weird to do so.

I personally dont think its fair on the child OR practical to lead them to become dependent on something that is their only way of settling.

Eh Frigg, are the voices in your head saying those things - not reading them here.

And nor does bf really above a certain age, many have agreed its just comfort.

fabby said tis weird or creepy or some such shite.not you.

lets not stoop to personal insults though eh?

pam, it is totally a mums perogative to stop when they want to and it can of course be for any reason.

BUT someone who disagrees with it per se (whether it's right for them or not) or who says it's a "bit sick" or "weird" can surely only view it as a negative because they see breasts for other reasons? fair dos start or stop when you want to, but to disagree with it or be offended by others doing it is to me a bit odd.

What sheep said.

and now im leaving ,to feed my son.

An awful lot of ignorance about bf on this thread. Really quite shocking actually.

Anyway, back to the OP. No YANBU OP. It's none of your FIL's business. You should carry on as you see fit for your family and don't give his opinion a second thought.

zukie I don't mind the choices other women choose to make ...not at all!

I get hurt when B/F is not truly understood ...not saying you did that either ,but I am very much about freedom of choice I guess?

I agree with frigg it is not kind to call fellow women who practice 'extended' B/feeding weird... its not womanly and not supportive.

bimbo BF does benefit above a certain age ,my 3 children are proof!

pam - you've totally misconstrued my point. i can't get my head around people being freaked out by seeing other mums breastfeeding their older babies.

i wasn't saying anyone who doesn't feed does so because they view it as sexual.

IME most people who object to BF past 6mths are those who have never bf/only fed a newborn and so just can't appreciate that it feels entirely natural to continue feeding a baby.

Frigg "cuddles offer comfort? take them away!" This was not said anywhere and that style of debate is offensive. If you were offended by my jocular retort then I offer my abject apologies - no really I do.

Sheep you said the only reason to disagree with ebf was if you think of breasts as a sexual object. If you want to peddle away from that statement feel free. I'm just disagreeing with it.

I can see many reasons to disagree with extended feeding, though I don't personally support them (i may do in a year or 2 or I may not) - I'd want to see the psych/scientific evidence first but that is my wont.

The tone of this thread raised my hackles hence jumping in. It's becoming clear to me that being a mother is very similar to driving - nobody believes that are bad driver and everyone believes they have the rights to preach about how to approach a roundabout.

.... Use your bloody indicators!

Those who think it is weird/sick/not quite right for a child to be breastfeed beyond the age of [insert random age of choice], can you give some indication on your views of the fact that BF till 2 is the WHO official advice? Or that the average weaning age across the world is around 4?

Is the WHO sick? Or just wrong?

Or is it fine for the rest of the world to feed beyond [insert random age of choice] as long as we civilized western cultures don't do it?

If you went to a third world country and saw a mother BFing a 3 year-old what would your feelings be?

Glad that most people in the west don't do it? Sorry that she has no other option? Fine about it because that is culturally acceptable for her?

I am genuinely bemused about some of the views on this thread.

Put it in a cup?!? Are you joking? I have a 1 year-old and a job - I really don't have time to attach myself to a milker as well!

As for doing them a dis-service because they can't settle any other way, at least I have a reliable way to settle mine (who will also nap without, but prefers with).

He likes it, it's a snack I always have with me and it's good for him. I don't see why I should inconvenience myself and take away something he enjoys for no good reason.

ok pam, i'm not "peddling away from my statement". but to elaborate, i was saying anyone who disagrees or is offended by the concept of extended breastfeeding (as has been expressed earlier in the thread) must view so because they view breasts just as sexual.

it goes without saying there can be many reasons why a mum might not themselves extend breastfeed. whatever. but my own hackles rise when i see comments of 'weird' and 'sick' being bandied about when talking about other mums breastfeeding.

pamsco there is a huuuge difference between an individual deciding not to BF and other people judging it, as a third party, sick. Can you really not see that?

Feminine- what proof is that then?

Sheep I agree with your hackle raising at the "weird" and "sick" comments but the answer isn't to ignore the factors in why people feel they way they do. How can the "cause" of breast feeding be improved if we take monocled view?

Apologies again if you have done exstensive research on why some people hold this view and KNOW that the reason they do is sexual. Bit of balance on both sides purleeeaase.

Or that the average weaning age across the world is around 4

The Average age?? I just don't believe it as it implies there are a whole lot of kids being breastfed at 6 and beyond.....

I'd be fascinated to know how that was defined.