to be fed up of feeling poor, dh on 45k i'm a sahm, we have no debts and a good life, yet i still feel a bit poor

[dovebird]

we don't have money worries, our house is worth a fair bit more[40k at least] more than we owe on it, i'm happy being a sahm, we have a happy marraige on the whole,healthy as far as we know,nice car, been one one holiday abroad this year and 5 weekends away in uk.
we have a largeish 3 bedroom house which more than meets our needs
we get to have days out and meals out fairly often

i am surrounded by wealthy people though, with huge houses and very good lifestyles [ie gardeners, cleaners, never do their own d.i.y etc]

i'm fed up of feeling poor all time.

Laquitar, in terms of business ideas, I look at it from economics and trends perspectives. I think as the economy continues to falter over the next few years, more women will return to work and take shorter maternity leave, particularly given the pension reforms and the impact of being out of work for a long time. This will lead to continued boom in childcare. I think anyone who owns a nursery already will continue to be profitable. There is a significant barrier to entering the market which is a large amount of capital is needed and banks are reluctant to lend to small businesses. A different option also based on the economy is private tutorial centres. As the gap widens between the impact of doing well at school and not doing well, I think more and more parents will use private tutoring to get their children the best start in life. Finally, I think the "cash rich time poor" market will continue to be lucrative. Our council has brought in some very stringent recycling rules and as a result the bins stink. Neither dh or I have any time to do anything about it so we now pay the wheelie bin cleaning company £10 per month to do our bins. The guy tells me he has 500 customers, so that's £60k per year for a very simple idea that's easily replicated.

Op, add 'Notting Hell' by Rachel Johson.
The world is divided in to haves and have-yachts.

Solar panels/renewable energy is a tip for the next few years as well as gas prices rocket.

CrosswordAddict - each area's Children's Centres are set up to meet the needs of the local community, so they are all a bit different. Some are run by the local PCT, some are run by charities etc.
Here's one definition of a Children's Centre:

What is a Children?s Centre?
Children?s Centres are intended to make life easier for parents and improve outcomes for children, by providing key services for families close to where they live.
Each Children?s Centre is different, offering a network of services according to the needs of local families. Activities are delivered from a main location or through a range of outreach venues.
All Children?s Centres work closely with schools, GPs and other local service providers.
Services include:

Information and advice on early years childcare and education

Family support and outreach services

Child and family health services

Support for child minders

Links to Job Centre Plus

Children?s Centres offer a special welcome to those, who for whatever reason, have found other services difficult to access.

Ours runs breastfeeding support groups, young mum's support groups, buggy walking, PND support groups, messy play sessions, baby massage, Speech and Language Therapy support, groups for childminders - and various other stuff too.

Try asking your HV if there is one near you.

Get real. Plenty of couples with kids have a harder time. Plenty of single mums have an even harder time and sometimes, when you get older and the little ones have become big ones and flown the nest, life throws a curve ball and the good income you had disappears. You are not rich, but your are comfortable. Enjoy. Envy is an insidious and self-damaging emotion. Or are you just winding everyone up?

Piprabbit Thanks for the info. Haven't used a Health Visitor in the past ten years. DDs are now 13 so don't really need a Children's Centre for my own family.

Thank you for replying

Xenia, arms dealing and solders hiring is one of the very few things that i wouldn't be interested at all. But if you have any more ideas i'm always all ears.

novice, i was very close to set up Nursery (-ies), i had a plan for a new type nursery and then i fall pregnant and then had 3 dcs very close to each other (my age meant i couldn't space them up). This is something i could do with passion as i love preschoolers and worked 20yrs as a nanny. I've done some research back then but this was 12 yrs ago so i don't know how things are now. I think you are right that more and more mothers will have to go to work and more childcare will be needed. Hmmm food for thought.

The bin cleaning idea - isn't it amazing? I wouldn't never think about it. £60k even with expenses etc is still very good. DH has a self-millionaire, everything he touches turns into gold, he says the trick is to watch politics very closely as every new law/cut creates a gap and a bussiness opportunity. Like your bin cleaning example.
Ditto the solar panels that pommedechocolat mentions.

Any more?

What about self-building, will more people unable to buy in the city go and buy land out of the city and self-build? (The way things go i can see caravans and tends selling well ).

Given that everyone else following seemed to be suggesting child care and the like I'm glad I mentioned arms.

I agree with the person saying watch new changes in law. I have seen people make a lot of money through something like external fostering services which it somehow feel appalling should be allowing anyone to found a business and cream money off and I would never have imagined the private sector was heavily involved. Also the latest ones - we need people to assess all these invalidity benefit people. Although these trends can get cut down - plenty of people set up busiensses on the back of "home information packs and then the Tories abolished them. There is one other recent thing I forget - it must be one of the getting people back to work schemes where the private sector will come in and help.

The person who thought up Tesco club card (husband and wife team) did massively well. The personi who thought up cash machines where you pay a fee and site them at places with no normal machines around did really well too.

I would much rather women were sitting here thinking of business ideasd which might make them real money rather than going off to their local school to earn the minimum wage as a classroom assistant. Even something like chidlren's parties which cost about £200 around here is surely better for 2 hours' work than working all week plucking chickens in a factory for £5.80 an hour.

Xenia,
'one of the getting people back to work schemes where the private sector will come in and help'.
Can you expand on this?

I was telling my dh the other day that with 'back to work' etc i 'm wondering if they will provide computer training etc and how is going to work. Is this what you mean?

"I would much rather women were sitting here thinking of business ideasd which might make them real money rather than going off to their local school to earn the minimum wage as a classroom assistant."

Well, I would rather they paid classroom assistants a fair wage than to see a whole load of women doing something so unnecessary as children's parties. I have to train classroom assistants and they have to do quite a lot of work, especially at secondary, with children with severe and complex needs which are often very difficult to understand. As the pay is so low, unfortunately some of those supporting these very vulnerable and needy students have very poor literacy skills themselves and many of them have minimal direction from qualified teaching staff.

I know you are very disparaging of classroom assistants, Xenia, but there are children who really need them and your children could just as easily have been in need of their services. I don't know if you have any children still at school, but an illness or injury can change everything for the brightest of students and we need enthusiastic and able individuals to support their learning.

I do not disparage them. Peopl eask for business ideas and how to make a lot of money. I mention how Blackstone made £100m or whatever out of Southern Cross. I would not suggest someone who wants to start a very successful business and make a lot of money become a class room assistant. That does not mean that is not the right job for someone of course. We didn't used to have them and some teachers prefer not to have another adult in their class room actually. Might be better just to separate out those children who don't behave, select by IQ at 4 as many of the private schools successfully do and not bother with the classroom assistants quite so much.

The back to work schemes - I don't know,. I haven't had to look at it but I know women and men who want to make money have sometimes been able to do that on the back of pu blic sector initiatives. I would love that to change and that we cut back all public sector stuff hugely both their own and what they subcontract but no Government seems remotely interested in cutting back the frontiers of the state nor in curbing expenditure in any real way, more is the pity.

Whenever I feel a bit broke (which usually happens after I've bought too many pairs of shoes) I remember the story of JK Rowling worrying about being a few pence short for a can of baked beans when she was a single mother living in a council flat in Edinburgh. That must feel really rubbish. Imagine having to choose whether you heat your house or or eat? Or foregoing food so your children can eat? That must be utterly heartbreaking. I can see you didn't mean to cause offence and agree that we don't necessarily feel any richer as our salaries increase (so do our outgoings...we become convinced we can't live without XYZ) but I can see why nobody is sympathising with you. Sorry!

"Might be better just to separate out those children who don't behave, select by IQ at 4 as many of the private schools successfully do and not bother with the classroom assistants quite so much."

Right... and what would you suggest would happen to those streamed at 4, then?

I work with children with normal IQ's and specific learning difficulties (Specific Language Impairment/Asperger's Syndrome). They would confound your IQ test "solution" anyway.

You are perfectly right that we didn't used to have classroom assistants and that many teachers might prefer to teach without another adult in the room (not that this has anything to do with education), but we also used to institutionalise the "ineducable". Is this your preferred solution?

Oh my heart pumps lumpy custard for you.

That has to be the saying of the year. Using that at first opportunity!

The money made by Sc selling nhp- that was not for a care service. That was property. Lots of it. I'm an accountant for one of their biggest ex competitors. I Agree with almost everything you've said re women and work but you don't know about SC, in fairness. Just sayin' like.

Thank you again xenia.

p.s. In my post @ 18:36:19 i meant 'my dh has a self-made millionaire relative'. (In case anyone thinks that i meant 'dh is a millionaire' ).

(Yes, I assumed it was the friend who was the millionaire - it's almost a mind set wth some of these very successful women and men; they think of the ideas and do them)

Re selection of children at school that's a separate thread really but even that has led to some people making money, running residential homes for chidlren , paid for by the state although I'm not suggesting it's a good way to make a lot of money. However that is another example - we have new laws (someone mentioned above this being what you seize) allowing private sector groups to set up free schools and I think that can be for profit not just for charity and the state pays.

I suspect women though should lthink beyond child care and cup cakes and dresses and think about the money they might make in oil or gold or commodities. More fun and potentially more profitable.

messalina nobody really believes that nonsense background to the JK Rowling story do they?

Bless you op! I think you are being a bit daft. Try being too broke to pay the mortgage and then whinge Or move somewhere with poorer neighbours - less envy, more graffiti.

Xenia, the only person who suggested childcare as a business idea was me. I gave ideas of businesses I would be prepared to back with my money because I can see a significant investment return. I lack the patience and talent it requires to work with children all day, that doesn't mean that I can't see the money opportunity of setting up and running a number of nurseries because I see that as nothing to do with childcare per say and everything to do with running a business and making money, and I would have made some suggestion to a man.

Laquitar, with your background, I would update the research and look into it more, but would check out the funding aspect first (a few issues of Nursery World would prob give you a rough idea) as the landscape has definitely changed. I would target more affluent areas for the siting of nurseries as think more money to be made from that population.

In terms of generating other ideas, and I appreciate that this isn't very sensitive to the OP, I have been going through our home life recently and trying to outsource anything that's time consuming or gadgets/products that would make life easier. If you walk through your own life and think "wouldn't it be easier/better if...." you are bound to come up with things. I found the wheelie bin man that way, using a google search but there aren't many of them.

The solar panel idea, I would think more globally. In some developing countries, they frequently have power cuts but use of solar panels is very low. I would be looking at the exporting of panels to these countries as there are lots of well off people who could afford it. I also think the reduction of public services will give rise to opportunities to provide some of those services to those who are willing to pay.

Xenia, you are no feminist. You are a capitalist, albeit a strange one who pretends that there is some sort of feminist ideology beyond your choices. Don't pretend it really matters whether someone makes money from childcare or cupcakes or dresses.. money is money, how it is made doesn't make the pound stretch any further. Oil and commodities don't sound like very much fun to me even if they are enjoyable for you or those like you. Residential homes are really not the answer to specific language and learning disabilities, nor is institutionalisation, and its clear from your response you don't really understand much about this area so are ill-qualified to comment.

A feminist is just someone who wants everyone to be equal under the law and for there to be fairness at home. You can be a capitalist or a left wing feminist.

One man (not a woman) bought up most of the world cocoa stocks at one point and did rather well. So if you prefer chocolate to oil people might want to do that kind of stuff. I don't think I suggested residential homes. I did say that if you have a vey clever child you might want them in a very selective school at 4+ and I do think those schools work very well for children like that.

You seem to want people to be equal under the law and for there to be fairness at home provided that those people are attaining the correct grades and working in occupations that you deem worthy.

I think a lot of people will have times of feeling like you do.It is just human nature and some are more prone to that state of yearning than others.
I agree that 45 K for a family does not go that far in today's world- it is equivalent to 2 starting teachers salaries- who would be lucky to buy a terraced house in many parts of the UK.

I am currently in a similar situation- sahm relying on my husband's income but gosh do I appreciate this golden period of life. I recognise that I have never been under less stress as a sahm.Yes LOs can be challenging but they are not challenging every hour of every day as my previous job felt to me for significant parts of the year.

Our income has reduced by %40 since i stopped work- our rent tripled when we moved from a 1 bed flat to a 3 bed home but oh my, my quality of life skyrocketed.We are choosing not to buy as we think property prices have further to fall-we have a small flat we rent out and we rent a home we love, with an amazing view that I would never be able to buy or choose to buy.I spend my days taking my son to botanical gardens, beaches, outdoor pools, the zoo, museums, galleries.The freedom makes me giddy.I know this brief period of life will be looked back at as the richest life has to offer but despite knowing this I am not immune from having days when despite rationally getting it I may not feel on that day as joyful as my lot really does justify me being.I recognise this is due to being human and having feelings which I kind of dismiss as temporary states of mind that in the end have little bearing on how I really feel about my life- which is grateful and satisfied most of the time.

I no longer pop into a shop and buy clothes I neither need or really desire beyond a momentary whim.I rarely have a cappucino or a lunch out.We get a takeout once a week and eat out for special occasions and I feel lucky we get to do this.
We have cut our cloth and have no debt but i do not notice these little omissions because I am so content.I do think it can be connected to how your life compares to how your life was in a previous life.
I appreciate having time to really be and enjoy life in a way I never could working 50-60 hours a week.

However I have had the odd moment when visiting areas/homes of my husband's bosses, where people have greater wealth and thinking..."oh my this is what lifestyle more money buys you.....mmmm I wonder if I could have gone and done one of these corporate jobs that buys you the house with the pool in the amazing area."Not envy as such but kind of awe at what money buys and how that option is in theory available to us all if we are prepared to do what is necessary to create that kind of wealth.

For me they are just occasional moments, quickly forgotten when I return to my lot which makes me pretty content most of the time.
I do think our mental attitudes have a profound influence upon how content we are and how much envy we experience but it is a good step for you to be examining your attitudes.We all know what Socrates thought about the unexamined life right?

It's all relative isn't it?

I have been through horrible phases of being jealous of everyone for anything - my sister is thinner, she has a better job even though I have a degree and she doesn't, I haven't been on holiday for 8 years etc etc. A lot of it does revolve around money.

Now, yes, I do get envious of what people have. It would be easier if we had a lot more disposable income - but in the main I don't care. I am happy with my little house, no car, OH and children.

It's easy to be scathing of the OP, but I think if anyone says they have never been envious of what other people have EVER then they are lying. IMO, natch.