I was mid-post last night and MN site went off-line, lost (no pun intended) it all. I think I was telling Karmabeliever that I thought I loved her, maybe MN couldn't cope?
I will try and remember the gist of what I was writing at the time (and, please stop saying other DW did catch sight of AIBU and is now lurking on this thread, I'll have nightmares, seriously).
One thing that DH and I agreed on was that the couple appeared to be overly solicitious last night. The other DH did say 'oh, I know it's late' - oth, he also in conversation managed to say to DH yes, when you chucked us out earlier, referring to them appearing at the door and being told we were having dinner 
. Can you see what we're dealing with here? (other DW pointed out to me in our brief conversation that she had 'only come up to get the DCs', implying her DH had plans to hang around here even after that!).
Duckdodgers I can/have/do say I'm/we're busy (I'm not TOTALLY gutless, and sometimes I am actually busy!), but as I replied in another post, it matters not a JOT. By the time the words are uttered other DH/DW's DC are already well into the garden/house/toys. Our house is a meeting point for lots of neighbours and their DC, who all very welcome because they do not extract the urine. The other DH/DW need US more than we need them, I am not wimping out of this because I'm a martyr and want shit people in my life to boost my self-esteem I promise!
If they had come right out with The Question I would have, with all your help, have said 'NO' ... easy peasy. TillyIpswitch is right when she says bluntness is the only language they'll understand. It's a form of passive-aggressiveness/bullying whichever way you look at it.
echt 'If they're smart, they'll actually have their tear-stained child with them', you get it and KNOW the type!
Branchingout 'THe problem is that you are sending them mixed messages' - I do see what you mean, however...
'THey come over and hover - your DH lets them in' - he didn't, other DH came into house via garden all by himself.
Your DH shows them stuff on Facebook - he didn't (My DH is not a fan of Feckbook), I was on laptop and other DH started dragging conversation round to 'school photographs'. He asked to see something. I showed him one picture.
'You don't tell them to go - although your toddler needs to go to bed' - I promise, if I said 'x+x are exhausted, shattered, going to bed now', I said it 10 times, all the time accompanied by aforementioned, usually angelic, toddler for effect. (echt, I can do tear-stained child too 
. The other couple know when our DC go to bed (much earlier than theirs because we're not out at ridiculous times making other people uncomfortable 
). We're not sitting down pandering to these people by chatting nicely, I am usually banging around saying 'I need to clean this kitchen, make dinner, HOOVER, and do these things...again, not a jot is taken heed of.
DH and I do not have these problems with anyone else in our lives I assure you. The ODH once told us that when a (now) mutually known couple had a new baby, the ODH took a bottle of fizz to their house one afternoon. He was most put out that the new father opened the door, took the bottle, said thank you, and instantly closed the door in his face. The ODH expected to be having some of that fizz I can tell you, preferably sitting with his backside on their sofa! DH and I actually thought (the way it was told to us by ODH) that's a bit rude of new father who is a very good friend of ODH! But we know now that friend already knew what we are currently experiencing. (I am not having another baby just to be able to get rid of these people btw...tho' maybe that would work).
Pishwife I'm off to look at that thread, thankyou.
I have a feeling that today's the day, and NO is still a complete sentence.
Thank you all 
.