7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

[vacaloca]

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

I still find it much more weird that any parent would actively choose to 'under dress' a child.

An innocent child whipping it off on the beach etc and running around - fine. A parent choosing to not dress the child - weird.

I think as others have said it is just the policy at that place.

Although I often wore just bottoms it was with my family.

I´m not sure that I would have wanted to if somewhere without them tbh-and not at 7 I shouldn´t have thought.

"Would anyone say anything if a little 7 year old boy wore a speedo?"
I would maiavan id tell them they simply were no longer considered fashionable

Hehe other than that aspect ledkr :o

Well why don't some of you try sending your girls to school with no shirts on on hot summer days? Schools like holidays clubs and leisure centres can have a dress policy. If you don't like it go to a different school/holiday club.

I hadn't seen the other thread so have added to it. The old double standards really annoy me. Paranoia about boys in mens changing rooms and then wide eyed innocence that anyone can object to half naked girls. You can't have it both ways!

All of you who are horrified at a bikini, if you think it inappropriate for a girl to be wearing a bikini with a top, why do you think they need to be covering themselves up with a swimsuit?

Personally, I wouldn't send my child to a holiday club like that with anything but a swimsuit. Swimming needs a swimsuit. when mucking about on a beach on holiday, bikini (full or just pants) will suffice. DD has bikinis and swimsuits and, when on holiday, will choose whichever she fancies. As I chose al her clothing, I am happy with it all.

I simply don't get the hysteria surrounding bikinis. I grew up wearing them as a small child with no issues. it is entirely different from a padded bra, high heels and makeup.

Mighty quim? Im unsure what you mean.You wouldnt send a boy to school topless would you either?

I'm

Could someone please, please explain this: If bikinis are a no no because they are designed to cover breasts why are swimming costumes more acceptable? Surely they are also designed to cover breasts and the logical conclusion to the argument ought to be that all pre pubescent girls wear bottoms alone (like their male counterparts)

Mighty quim - exactly what ledkr just said. Im not sure what you getting at either?

I have a pool at home and I cant imagine it being an issue. If friends come with their little ones and they forget their swimming gear, the little ones just strip to underwear and swim. When they not comfy with that (around 9/10 I have found), they leave their shirts on. It never occurred to me to ask the parents to cover them because someone might be offended. If the little ones are ok with swimming in underwear, so be it, they little!

ledkr - you're on! See you there ;)

People are still missing the point entirely, it isn't what you would do with your family in your garden, the beach, or the swimming pool-it is about asking someone to supervise your DC when you are not there. It is a simple blanket rule-to protect the staff.

Maiavan - to me the difference is that is your own home, where you no doubt know the people watching, trust them etc, and also the kids have forgotten their swimming stuff.

My mind boggles at parents making a positive choice to send their kids off to a public place, deliberately only wearing half of the conventional outfit, which, quite frankly, is inappropriate.

What's with all the judgy "Oooh, 7 years old in a bikini? Tut tut!"

It's not the same as crop tops and mimi skirts... they are swim suits, FFS. If you think a child baring it's belly by the pool is wrong you should have a word with yourself. Then pop a nice burkha on your own child before you hit the beach.

ledkr no you wouldn't send a boy topless because that would be against the uniform. My point is that schools, leisure centres etc can have whatever uniform policy they like. If you don't like it go elsewhere.
I and others have made the point many times before in the thread. If the pool/holiday club allow the OP's daughter in with no top - what about when her 9 yo friend wants to get in with no top (bearing in mind I had a friend who, at 9, had started her periods and had enough boobs for a bra). Are the holiday club/pool supposed to take individual kids aside and say who can/can't go in without a top? Much easier and less embarrassment all round to just say everyone has to wear one surely.
I also agree with posters on her that say there is no difference in a pre-pubescant child wearing a childs style bikini or a full costume.

I don't understand the outcry over bikinis on 7 year olds.

I have a picture of me taken many, many years ago at the same age proudly wearing my green frilly bikini. I wanted to be grown up. It was clearly a child's garment.

My mum bought it for me and photographed me and my best friend who was also wearing a bikini. I don't think I was in any moral danger as it was a Sunday School outing .

exoticfruits I think people ar missing the point because it is not a very interesting one: pool has rules like it or lump it. Far more interesting IMO is the discussion re bikini = sexual.

wheels but why is a pre pubescent girl without a top on inappropriate?

Do you have an issue with 7 year old boys being "topless"?

I would agree-TheQueen. I have nothing against DCs in bikinis. I don't have DDs but I would buy one piece costumes.

It is ridiculous to say that a frilly Minnie Mouse bikini, for example, is sexual. Wearing the top is maybe unnecessary for young kids but bikinis come in 2 bits - it's the style of them. Shoes are unnecessary for pre-walkers but people still put their kids in them - I don't think they are trying to hurry their kids in to adulthood - just complete an outfit. If a child was wearing a gold thong bikini with push up bra/knee high stilettos then that would be sexualising them. A frilly character bikini is no more sexualising than a pair of booties imo.

I don't mind the bikini at all, that is not my issue.

Re the boy/girl thing, society over generations has dictated the norms.

The issue is not whether right minded people see boys or girls in different lights - however, for an element of society underdressed children will be a titilation. As a society we have an accepted dress code to minimise risks/perceptions etc.

What people do in their own homes or gardens is fine - to send their kids to a public place under dressed is just odd.

And I agree - if the club has a dress code, abide by it, whatever your own thoughts.

Off to work now, catch up later.

YABU, people actually spontaneously combust if they see a female nipple, they are that powerful.

Bikinis/tankinis/trunks make much more sense for little kids. A one piece is a PITA if you want to go to the loo.

I only wear a one piece for laps, for all other times I wear a tankini because it is easier.

How many times are people going to ask the same question?
It likely isn't inappropriate in the OP's case but the alternative to the pool/holiday club having a blanket rule that all girls wear tops is that unaccompanied older kids who have begun developing and get in without a top on would have to be taken aside individually and told to cover up which would be HUGELY embarrassing for them and the staff - would that be better?

wheels so your argument is that pre pubescent girls should cover their top halves to avoid being titilation?

Now that makes my mind boggle.

WheelsOnTheBike saying something like Re the boy/girl thing, society over generations has dictated the norms. is just scary because society over generations has dictated many things as normal - thank goodness people saw the insanity in a lot of it and adjusted or us woman would not be able to vote, would have to be pregnant in the kitchen taking a smack from our men if he didnt approve of our behaviour.

Thank goodness that when society has been wrong, people wake up and we rectify it. Just because its been done for generations, doesnt make it right.

Trying to make little girls top halves into anything to be hidden/ashamed of, etc says more about the adults issues than the interests of the child.

I am just at the remarks about dress code to minimise risks - dear lawd are little girls/woman to stop wearing short skirts to minimise the risk of abuse/rape?