7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

[vacaloca]

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

Wow - am literally that some posters see a bikini as offensive to put on a child. Eh? Really??? It's a two piece outfit for the beach/swimming pool! Reason my sister bought rather than a swimsuit was ease of pulling down to go to the loo for her daughter! lovely little daisies on and loads of children in the class wear them??

you don not have to have breasts to own one FGS and no waaaay is a bikini a sexual item of clothing like say a basque or stockings are?!

Hell - not often I'm astounded but wtf? putting your child in a bikini is 'wrong'? nahhhh - what a warped mind some must have :-(

LadyBeagleEyes - seriously I have no idea. I could be 99% certain that a little girl under the age of 10, say, on the beach and wearing a costume is British. I know my sister and I used to be pretty much the only ones wearing bikini bums too at 8/9/10 and that was 30 odd years ago for me and 15 ish for my DSis.

What always makes me giggle though is that some of the kids I see (English etc) here will be wearing a costume on the beach, their mums will have their tits out (I have NO problem with this BTW) and THEN these children will be wearing clothes that I'd drag FROM my 17/18 year old DDs as they are wholly inappropriate.

I saw a girl getting changed with much palaver last week with towels wrapped around her by her ma and pa - changing from a costume into a fucking crop top, hot pants type shorts and 2"/2½" wedge things. Said girl was not more than 8 I would think. That sort of clothing is to me totally sexualising a young LITTLE girl. Bikini bums, running around carefree and having a lovely beach day is so far from that. It makes my bloody practically curdle.

This thread has shed some light for me. Around April the girl next door age 9 had a birthday party & her & her guests were running round the garden in just their knickers (think they had had a water fight), the father was walking amongst them fully clothed. It wasn't a particualry warm day but they obviously thought it was fine. They spend a lot of time in France & are obviously used to this dress code for girls. I have to admit I was shocked. the girls also sunbathe topless in the garden while my boys wear a spf 50 vest whenever there is a hint of sun. Each to their own I guess?

This reminds me of first time we took DD swimming. We were told that she would have to wear a top in addition to the 'bottoms'. I took offence because the bottoms were a swim nappy and she was 4 months old.

I don't think the 7 yr old should have to wear a top. She is a child without breasts and covering up her nipples makes them sexual and something to hide.

At our local swimming baths girls have to wear a full costume and boys have to wear the tight fitting lycra style swimming trunks, as opposed to the longer length cotton swimming shorts, when they go swimming with school.
I have no idea why I just bought the said items to comply.

As for the op I would probably just comply with their requests. It may be a blanket rule to avoid any problems.

Oh and my mum was reprimanded for taking a photograph of her grandaughter, my dd, in a full swimsuit at the pool, noone else was there (we were not in view of the pool) but the member of staff said they couldn't allow it just in case anyone complained.

I was trying to think how I felt about seeing little girls on the beach with bikinis on and I realised that it pretty much never happens here because Australian kids mainly wear neack to ankle suits (round here anyway). Lots of topless adult women though, so it's not about modesty.

Still, there's nothing wrong with a 7yo girl wearing a bikini or half a bikini or nothing at all if she wants, but I agree with the poster who pointed out that at a club the rule has to be applied to all to avoid having to make akward and inappropriate judgement calls.

I haven't read the whole thread but YANBU.

I really don't see the problem if a child of 7 wants to wear bikini bottoms and no top to swim in. She has no breasts, so why does she need to cover her top half?

There's nothing wrong with a little girl just wearing bottoms in my opinion, but I have never ever seen a little girl do it here (in the US) In fact, the first time I even realized you could get just bottoms for a little girl was a Mini-Boden catalog. They just sell the little ruffly pants for baby girls and I've never seen that here.

That being said, a bikini on a baby looks ridiculous. I saw a little girl (couldn't have been a year old) in a triangle-top bikini at a water park last month and just thought why the hell....?

But yes, here a 7 year old girl wouldn't think to go in just pants to a pool.

On further thought, that's odd. In my opinion a pair of little swim pants on an infant, with no top, is far more age appropriate than a bikini even though the bikini covers more. Yet a full swimsuit, which covers more, is more age appropriate than a bikini on a girl.

Context is everything...

Swimming pools like anywhere else will have policies. They will have had meetings and written all the healthy and safety rules and child protection rules etc.
I still think that people are being very unfair insisting that their DC can wear whatever they like, but then being so distrustful they won't let their DC get changed on their own. Of course staff want to cover themselves with rules.They would be silly not to.

It is fairly simply anyway-she has the top part-just wear it. Other places have rules. In France my DSs couldn't wear their swimming trunks like shorts, in another pool they had to wear hats. This was far more annoying because they didn't own the right sort of trunks and they had to get hats.

If parents are distrustful (which they are) public places get policies to match.All relax-send your 7yr old boys off to the men's changing rooms on their own, don't complain about people with cameras and you wouldn't have the swimming pool on the defensive about clothing.
People really can't have it both ways!

I also bet that had you been in the pool with your DD, as a family, there wouldn't have been a problem. You are missing the whole point that you were sending her off to a holiday club, with strange adults supervising-they have to be careful.

My 9 yr old loves buying bikinis for her holiday,little girls bikinis are mostly frilly affsirs with big crop top type tops not string bikinis in gold lame.
I am interested to see there is this thread where people are saying little girls should cover up and wear a one piece whilst at the same time there is another one running with mums of sons kicking off cos women dont want 10 yr old boys in ladies changing rooms

Most public places have CCTV nowadays, our local pool does. Would you be happy with her being on video without her top on?
It's a blanket rule. Some 7 years have breasts, some don't. It's like the rule with under 8s being in the water with an adult - my two under 8s are at stage 7 on the national swimming scheme and can swim 5 lengths non stop. They still need an adult in the water with them even though they can swim better than a lot of over 8s.

ledkr, as the mother of two sons, I would not want boys 10 years old in the ladies changing rooms. I don't think it's appropriate, apart from if they had special needs and then I'd be inclined to keep them out anyway - you could just put their trunks on under their clothes and then it's easy for them just to change at the pool side before their swim.

vivid I dare you to pop onto the thread and say that
I have 3 boys and agree with you,my dd goes in the ladies alone when swims with dh,i just make sure she has easy clothes and she has to ask a lady to turn off the shower as its too stiff!! Dont see why she should have to do that to find boys older than her in the ladies.
(apologies for hijack)

I also used to wear bikinis-the tops were always like a crop top that you could slip on.

Would always be in just my bottoms on the beach but would put a costume on to swim.

I'll do it, ledkr . :) Where's the thread?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1280819-Fed-up-with-boys-in-womens-changing-rooms-at-pool

There you go yank,good luck

DD just said she prefers bikinis cos its easier to go to toilet.

I said my piece. Nothing too impressive :)

I cannot imagine ever sending my DD out in bottoms only.

To me that is weird.

I know 7 is pre puberty etc, but I genuinely would never imagine going topless myself at any age, and would not do that with my daughter.

Possibly acceptable in your own garden, not in in a public place.

And if children are not sexual beings, which of course they are not, but that seems to be the point under debate over what is acceptable, answer this. Why are we insisting that both boys and girls cover up their bottom halves. And if we want them to cover their bottoms, why not their tops.

I am genuinely perplexed that so many of you are astonished that she was told to cover up.

because at 7 they have genitals but not breasts.

I think its also safety for little boys to cover up

Im quite at this. Why is it not ok for a girl to wear a bikini in the first place and why not just bottoms? Would anyone say anything if a little 7 year old boy wore a speedo? I would not even notice! And why are a little girls nipples (which are identical to a boys at that age) be seen as something that needs to be covered up/hidden?