7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

[vacaloca]

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

Everything that exoticfruits said.
with so much paranoia the club has to cover its back for legal reasons. a doctor wudnt touch a child unchaperoned. its just to make sure you dont unwittingly get into a position where you may compromise your whole future. just put the flipping top on and get on with it or go to a different club.

I wouldn't buy a bikini for a 7 year old. Sorry to be old fashioned and all that. It just doesn't look right imo.

Do you think your dd might have been the only topless one, perhaps a bit of giggling from the other kids?

My god. Bikinis are not sexual, they are swimsuits. I was a 70s child and had a wollen knitted bikini (made by my gran - born 1914 - so not at all with the intent of sexualising children) which would hang down heavy when wet and "expose" me .... what on earth would you think of that if you think bikinis are sexual.

Oh, and also, the same gran once put me in my swimsuit back to front (when I was about 7). Believe me - that was worse than any child's bikini.

I posted recently about bathing my 2 DDs together and someone pointed out that 7 year olds are starting to get a sense of modesty - I totally agree with that so why would it be wrong for me to let her wear a bikini top? Imho it would be more wrong of me to force a child with that burgeoning sense of modesty to wear just bottoms because of my sensibilities .

"I wouldn't buy a bikini for a 7 year old. Sorry to be old fashioned and all that. It just doesn't look right imo."

PMSL@ old fashioned :o

Get her a costume that's what she needs to swim properly in a municipal pool.

We always wore Speedos growing up when swim training or in public pools
On hols we went nekkid or wore pants or whatever was to hand and no one noticed

I didn't have a bikini until I was well into my teens

Chipping - much the same reasons Reshape has given.

A one-piece is a fairly neutral garment which covers up the torso from the sun, or whatever.

A pair of trunks/pants covers up bottoms and is mildly more hygienic than going nude. Plus my children have a habit of sitting in awkward poses which leave nothing to the imagination, and I don't think it is a bad idea to keep those areas "private".

A bikini top has no function on a child and accentuates what they HAVEN'T got. It serves no useful purpose - it does not offer any protection from the sun. It is unnecessary for a child to wear something like that.

As a disclaimer - when I talk about bikinis I immediately think of ones with the bra shaped tops. "Fuller" tops I can sort of see the point of as they do offer more protection from the sun and are not shaped to mimic adult garments.

Oakmaiden - it covers up the torso from the sun or whatever -

So, the tiny bit it covers up around their tummy needs that much more protection that the rest of their bodies?! and what exactly could the 'whatever' be??

and really doesn't explain your earlier comments:

Well, each to their own, I suppose, but I personally think putting a young child in a bikini is not so very different from putting them in a bra...

I just think bikinis are a fairly adult type of attire. And I would judge if I saw a small child in one

I think that is the thing, Eglu - bikini tops are designed to cover adult breasts. Thus I feel it is an inappropriate thing for a small child to wear

Since she could swim independently (around 6) I have bought dd a drawer full of swimming costumes, tankinis and bikinis. She wears what she wants - she likes just bikini bottoms because she can pee quickly and it feels comfortable, she likes bikini if she thinks it is pretty, ditto tankini, she likes costumes if it is pretty and she is diving a lot.

Big deal.

So, the tiny bit it covers up around their tummy needs that much more protection that the rest of their bodies?!
Well, yes, it does... because it is not normally exposed to the sun and is thus far more likely to get sunburnt than arms and legs. And the "whatever" I was thinking about was a partly formed thought about if it is not boiling hot (as it so often isn't in this country) then it is a layer of hear insulation.

And my comments you have gathered are consistent with my last post. I feel there is no "utilitarian" argument for putting a child in a bikini - it offers them nothing. And the traditional bikini top IS shaped like a bra, and to me is an adult styled garment. I just don't think it is appropriate for a small child.

In exactly the same way that I don't think "off the shoulder" tops or high heeled shoes are appropriate for small children. Because they are adult styled and there is no bloody hurry for children to grow up....

"A one-piece is a fairly neutral garment which covers up the torso from the sun, or whatever."

But it isn't neutral is it? It is only for girls, thus the top part is specifically to cover the breast area.

Except that all swimming costumes used to be like that, and men's have changed to just trunks.

When we are at the beach my children both tend to wear those all in one suits. My teenager chooses to wear dreadful baggy short things. I wear a bag on my head.

I was in Croatia last year and at several beaches there were kids (mixed gender) swimming naked or in just bikini bottoms - I'd say they were in the 6,7,8 yr range. I found it kind of refreshing. They all seemed so healthy, comfortable with themselves and totally unselfconscious.....and of course why should they be anything else? They were just playing in their natural state. I am not normally such a granola munching hippie but I thought it was quite nice.

To the OP's original post - YANBU, I think its kind of sad actually.

I dunno - it is like a leotard but for swimming in. And boys and girls wear leotards....

But I am not saying that children must wear one pieces so they are covered up - just that I greatly dislike small children wearing bikinis.

IMO it is not the bikini per se that is allegedly 'sexy' or inappropriate, but the style of the garment. It's a bit like saying that all knickers are sexy because black lacy thongs are sexy. Someone gave my 7 year old daughter a one-piece that I am very uncomfortable with her wearing, because similarly to one that a poster above described, it has a kind of plunging neckline and is gathered under where breasts would be, so definitely gives the impression that it is designed for breasts. A spotty or flowery, Boden-style (or whatever) tankini is sweet and innocent, and if you see something wrong in that I think you are over thinking it really.

I assure you all there is nothing sexy about my knickers or bra.

I haven't read the 12 pages on here but in reply to the original post - my DD at seven would have wanted to wear the top half, but if she wasn't bothered, I would wonder why it was such a big issue to the club.

And to the other posters who don't agree with young girls wearing bikinis - IMO you are going way OTT. My DD always wore a bikini, or 'two piece', purely because she preferred being able to pull the bottom half down easily to go to the loo when she needed to (maybe I'm thinking more of on holidays here than in swimming baths). The only difference between her bikinis and swimming costumes were about an inch of exposed tummy - which I have absolutely no problem with.

I disagree very strongly with the sexualisation of children's clothing, but IMO bikinis of this type don't fall into that category.

It might be a matter of spotting the Europeans on this threads, and those who spent loads of time there on hols.

however... I have just returned from the swimming pool (at home in France at the mo) and, looking at little girls, loads of them where wearing the bikini tops (triangle types). So things have changed there too.

I just hope that when DD is 7, she doesn't feel she has to hide her flat chest in public at the pool.

When /if I have a daughter I'll probably put her in bikini bottoms and a rash top, now that I think about it.

This reminds me of the hullaballoo last summer over Shiloh Pitt wearing just swim trunks. If you didn't know she was a girl you'd never have noticed.

Mimile, what if she wants to wear a swimsuit or bikini top because she sees that's what all the other girls her age are wearing?

Why is it OK for a 7 year old boy to wear just bottoms but not a 7 year old girl? Their bodies usually look identical from the waist up.

Mind you, I rather resent the double standard that requires women to cover up chests but not men, as it happens. I'd welcome a change to standards that was a bit more 'meh' about breasts and a bit less 'phwoar'. It'd make my life easier, really.

halcyon - I'd tell her "c'est pas parce que les autres se jettent au lac qu'il faut faire pareil"
en gros - others may thrown themselves in the lake, you do not have to follow suit

(makes little sense, probably, but I heard that all my childhood and it makes sense where I am from)

Mind you, I do not have an issue with swimsuit per se (maybe in a slightly paradoxal way if I consider chipping's POV that the top bit fills no function either)

As for peer pressure, well, you don't have to give in to it.

I've had this too and found it annoying and made me feel uncomfortable, at the time dd was 4.5 and she had always hated wearing a swim costume, so the compromise was to at least where the bottoms, even that was a battle. I felt like saying to the Lifeguard be grateful she's wearing anything in some other countries it's the norm for girls just to wear swimming bottoms. Yanbu.