Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 ··· 9 10 11 12 13 14

Original poster

7yo dd was told at swimming pool to wear the top part of her bikini

333 replies

vacaloca · 15/08/2011 21:48

I sent the kids to a holiday club today where they have a pool. They were wearing the bottom part of a bikini and the 7yo (very skinny as well) was told to wear the top part of her bikini tomorrow. I think that's just weird and I'm feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Catslikehats · 16/08/2011 10:56

maternelle I agree that a girls chest does not need covering . My point on this thread is that if prepubescent girls' chests don't need covering why the hang up with a one piece? Why are so many people saying a bikini draws attention to the chest but a one piece doesn't?. Why not accept that girls can just wear bottoms/shorts? (I realise you agree with this point)

Catslikehats · 16/08/2011 10:59

hiding a nipple and accesorising a breast are two quite different things though surely?

halcyondays · 16/08/2011 11:00

On a young child I don't think it really matters whether they wear a bikini top or not. It is just down to personal preference. But for girls there comes a point when it would be considered inappropriate for them to go topless in a beach or poll, in this country. I don't think that a bikini top is sexualising, unless it was a particularly grown up style, many of them are just cropped vests. A swimsuit could be more sexualising if it had a plunging neckline or lots of cutaway bits it would be more suitable for an adult than a young girl. Girls' bikinis are often different in design to adult bikinis, less skimpy, with frills etc.

Maternelle · 16/08/2011 11:00

I guess a one piece is handier if you are a serious swimmer.
I don't really like them because of the wet fabric on the stomach which I find unpleasant but I can see their point if you are going to swim 10 laps.

halohasslipped · 16/08/2011 11:01

halcyondays is that your argument? Both genders can be dressed as that is part of being human. I don't just dress to hide accessorise my boobs and arse. There is no need to be naked and subject to the elements all day.

MightyQuim · 16/08/2011 11:47

Well I still maintain that child style bikinis are more akin to a vest than a bra. The main feature of a bra is to provide support for breasts. Kids bikinis don't have/need this. You would only need a bra style one once you have breasts.

Maternelle you keep going on about how girls should not have to hide their non-existant breasts but you also don't think they should have to hide them once they do exist. I don't quite see your point - is it just that everyone should be allowed to be nude at all times if they so wish?

Supersunnyday · 16/08/2011 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MightyQuim · 16/08/2011 11:52

Also saying that all kids bikinis are sexualising is like saying that all kids shorts are sexualising just because some places sell hotpants in kids sizes. Or all kids skirts are sexualising because some of them might be too short. Or all kids boots are sexualising because Lelli Kelli make those nasty heeled knee boots. It ENTIRELY depends on the style of the bikini. I maintain that anyone who thinks Peppa Pig bottoms and a cropped vest is in anyway sexy is very weird.

ChippingIn · 16/08/2011 11:59

Festi - the question has not been answered AT ALL, except by Reshapewhiledamp (who posted after you).... and she was NOT one of the ones banging on about girls should be in a one piece full costume but that wearing a bikini top was sexualising them... so as I said

Can ANY of you who think bikini tops (on children) are sexual/disgusting/inappropriate/whatever please explain why you think a full one piece is suitable?

It makes no bloody sense at all!

Francagoestohollywood · 16/08/2011 11:59

I totally agree with Maternelle.

ChippingIn · 16/08/2011 11:59

TheQueenOfDenial - thank you, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one :)

BunnyWunny · 16/08/2011 12:49

Funny how those 'OMG a bikini on a 7yo!" posters from the beginning of the thread didn't come back. Sometimes I think some mumsnetters just say things because they think that will be what the rest of us think and the and an excuse to shoot the OP! Seems in this case, as in the rest of the world, most think a bikini (or just the bottoms) is fine for a 7yo.

ReshapeWhileDamp · 16/08/2011 13:09

ChippingIn - I think I did say that I thought that one-pieces were perfectly acceptable too! As I said, a traditional swimming costume just covers the torso. Genitalia, nipples, tummy, bum, back, hips. It's pretty neutral in a way. As someone said earlier, traditional swimming costumes for men used to cover pretty much the same area. A one-piece covers areas that we're not bothered about sexually (in this culture, at least). A bikini covers only very specific areas. So why go out of your way to cover a pre-developed 7 yo's nipples and future breast area if she hasn't developed them yet? To me, that's odd, and that's why I think one-pieces are fine, and bikini bottoms or shorts are fine, but that choosing to wear the bra-top too is a bit odd with small girls.

(I don't actually have a 7 yo daughter myself, nor am likely to have one, so I do appreciate that an additional complication would be that the 7 yo insists on wearing the entire outfit, or wants to wear the top because the big 13 yo girls are wearing them. )

ChippingIn · 16/08/2011 13:13

Reshape - Oh OK I take it back then

I now have one reply from a screaming harpie - where are the others??

halcyondays · 16/08/2011 13:24

Buying a two piece which are readily available in the shops and wearing both pieces is not going out of your way to cover a seven year old's nipples, imo. Rightly or wrongly, most shops in this country sell either full swimsuits or two pieces for seven year old and most people wear both pieces. Dd1 picked out a couple of two pieces when she was about 3 and wore both pieces, because it came with two pieces, so why not wear both?

You can buy swim nappies that don't come with a matching top, but I don't think many shops here sell bikini bottoms on their own for little girls. Perhaps because there's little demand?

Shoutymomma · 16/08/2011 13:25

I'm with Mighty Quim.

Catslikehats · 16/08/2011 13:25

Chipping I have asked the Q a number of times now, starting back on p.2 but posters seem to be suprisingly quiet on the issue

FWIW I have an almost 7 yr old DD and she loves bikinis in only the way a kid can [grins] she would mostly prefer to swim naked and does at home, but if we have friends over she will put the bottoms on. If we are at a public pool or the beach she will wear the top. She has decided in her mind this is what is "appropriate", without any input from me. I am genuinely horrified that there are "normal" people out there who perceive this to be tittilating.

Mimile · 16/08/2011 13:34

ChippingIn -
Re. the full one piece - if you go to a diving / swimming class, one piece suits are actually better for performance / doing laps.
I never thought of them filling the function of hiding the child's chest, but maybe you are right in pointing that out - I might just have overlooked it / never thought of it this way.
I know that I wore them when I was diving and going in the waves at the seaside (I had lost too many bikini bottoms in the waves).

I do not like the top part of the bikini because to me it fills no function.
the bottom bit - hygiene as Maternelle has pointed out, no argument there.

Maternelle · 16/08/2011 14:02

ChippingIn, I did answer: "I guess a one piece is handier if you are a serious swimmer.
I don't really like them because of the wet fabric on the stomach which I find unpleasant but I can see their point if you are going to swim 10 laps."
I also lost my bikini bottom very often in the waves so I can see the point of one-pieces.

ChippingIn · 16/08/2011 14:28

TQoD - hmm - suprisingly 'missing in action' aren't they

Mimile & Maternelle - yes a one piece is indeed better for older girls when they are diving or doing serious swimming BUT that doesn't answer the question I put to people who were shrieking that bikinis on small children are disgusting/inappropriate/sexualising them/revolting etc etc but that a one piece is just fine (and we are talking small children here - not those competing or diving - but as a by the by, well fitting bottoms stay on both male and female children). The top half of a one piece doesn't fill any function on a small child either.

saintlyjimjams · 16/08/2011 14:32

I'm with you OP. World gone mad. Swimming pools (and their users) seem a bit uptight - head to the beach, I doubt anyone would notice there.

innishvickallaune · 16/08/2011 14:46

Really? Bikinis are sexually titillating?

We used to just wear our knickers at the beach. Until we were about 9 or 10!

peacemoon · 16/08/2011 14:49

I find it a bit strange to say a 7yo shouldn't wear a bikini.I was a child in the seventies and we all wore bikinis usually with little frilly skirts on the bottom and I very often went without the top.
There are family pics of me age 5. Were they just more innocent days? I wouldn't have a problem with my daughter wearing a bikini,is that wrong?

halcyondays · 16/08/2011 14:57

Not more innocent days, just less paranoid days, peacemoon. I've seen plenty of young kids on the beach in just knickers but a swimming pool wouldn't let you wear anything other than proper swimwear.

saintlyjimjams · 16/08/2011 15:05

I always wore just bikini bottoms as well thinking about it. I was a bit of a tomboy so I called them my trunks!

Flip

1 2 ··· 9 10 11 12 13 14

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.