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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dh want's me to take kids on hol with His family without him

337 replies

CoffeeDog · 11/08/2011 12:23

Had a chat with DH last night and he thinks IABU

Due to go on a week long caravan hol with DH entire family next week...

MIL booked it as a 'treat' for us back in jan as we cannot afford to go this year.. she annouced last month that she her DH - her mum and dad will also be sharing the caravan with us making 6 adults and 3 kids in one caravan - with all our kids squished into the little room and me and dh on the fold out bed bit in the living room.
SIL & her DH have a caravan there and will be there with therir 7 kids - shes 7mth pregnant and isnt very mobile so MIL idea is that we entertain the kids while SIL has a break..ermmmm what about me?

DH isnt really good at speding alot of time with his own family (due to probs when he was a kid) as said last night that he thinks he will stay home and decorate for a few days while me and the kids go and have fun...... I have told him NO way i am spending a week being the glorified au par with no sleep(Dh grandad gets up at the crack of dawn and his mum with be at the bar till late )
I have said if he want the painting done i will happily stay behind on my own and paint the house whilst he takes the kids after all its HIS family and he has never had the kids on his own and just come back from a fishing trip with his dad - would be lovly to have the house to myself!

He thinks i ABU as i get on with his family better than him..???

OP posts:

LineRunner · 11/08/2011 14:45

I would probably break my own ankle to get out of going on this 'holiday'.

To summarise your options:

Say no to DH.

Pull out of holiday.

Send DCs on their own without you and DH.

Send Dcs with DH and you stay home.

Do half and half.

Stick to the original plan and all go; but refuse to act as a glorified au pair and have some nice long days out.

Good luck. x

blackeyedsusan · 11/08/2011 14:47

2 little green monkeys, you could haave killed 2 birds with one stone... never being asked to look after dog or do cooking again... by ermm some traditional Korean dishes...

your husband is completely totally unreasonable. tell him you are all going, get the car packed and then you have serious stomach problems and need to send dh on his own...

WhoWhoWhoWho · 11/08/2011 14:48

yanbu

Don't go, you would be crazy to even consider it, with or without the H.

Original poster

CoffeeDog · 11/08/2011 14:54

See i knew it wasn't just me!! (what i will say when i show him the thread when he gets home from work!)

One of SIL kids has SN so his dad will need to take care of him (feeding tube etc) when we went on hols to my FIL (MIL & FIL divorced) SIL sat on her backside for a week (5kids then) and did nothing not even make tea or change a nappy...
MIL apprantley told husband we would all be sharing and he 'forgot to mention it' SIL has bought their own caravan there so thats why she chose that site.
me and husband early 30's MIL 53 - her husband ...late 30's nan and grandad mid 70's kids 5 and 2 (twins).

Mil will want to be on the piss all night at the 'entertainment' and 'great grandad gets up at 6am EVERYMORNING - cant wait to see what he thinks of my cow print PJ's
I am thinking more in the line of Migraine as they know i suffer and can last for 3 or 4 days ;)
I have asked MIL about who's looking sfter the kids - She said there is a kids club so i dont need to worry about them?? my twins are 2 my oldest is only 5 and my dn&dn are 1-11 and that we can take it in turns to watch them.... NO WAY would i leave them in a caravan on their own - and i know everyone else will just get plastered.

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 11/08/2011 14:59

Jesus you can't possibly go.

We are going on holiday with some of DH's family later in the year, but we will have our own accommodation, and I won't be being an unpaid skivvy.

evenlessnarkypuffin · 11/08/2011 14:59

Migraine is perfect. But D and V has the added benefit that they can't suggest your DH take the DCs and go without you, as you could say that one or more of the children have it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 11/08/2011 15:03

Migraine definitely.

Original poster

CoffeeDog · 11/08/2011 15:04

Oh and for the record - i dont get on with his family particually well - i just remeber to send cards/prezzies for birthdays. I pick up the phone if they call. The only ones i get along with is his uncle and partner and they are wise enough to have said they cant make it!!

His MIL lost favour with me when she annouced they were getting married 4 mths after us (and re-used all the bridesmaid dresses/decorations/etc..and even stole my wedding shoes!!) -

OP posts:

MrsCampbellBlack · 11/08/2011 15:07

Look you're doing mil a favour - more space for them

Cheria · 11/08/2011 15:09

YANBU

I wouldn't have either of us go sounds awful. Much better off at home if holidays are like that.

Don't blame your husband really (I do everything I can to avoid seeing my family)

Cancel the whole thing.

oldraver · 11/08/2011 15:14

So if your on the lounge bed and one person will be at the bar till late and another up at the crack of dawn just how much sleep will you get ?

Original poster

CoffeeDog · 11/08/2011 15:23

You forgot - how little sleep will the twins get when they all come crashing in 'being quiet' at 1am.... If twin 1 is up after 12 thats him up!! - he might have a little nap around 6am... juyst when everyone else gets up - good lucky daddy ;)

OP posts:

lisianthus · 11/08/2011 15:23

Don't go. Seriously, you'll wind up killing someone and your next AIBU will be from jail. It will be much more comfortable just to kill your DH and bury him under the patio tonight. At least that way you'll get the painting done as well.

kenobi · 11/08/2011 15:28

It's probably against health and safety guidelines to have that many people in one caravan.

I'd check with the owners of the caravan and be the ones who take it on the chin and have to back out because the owners threatened to pull the plug...

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/08/2011 15:28

Don't go. Just don't.

If it were me I'd be a screaming harridan by day 2 and either divorced or sectioned by the end of the holiday.

It sounds like hell.

kenobi · 11/08/2011 15:29

So what are you going to do, coffeedog? Other than follow lisianthus's advice?

youarekidding · 11/08/2011 15:32

So if your on the lounge bed and one person will be at the bar till late and another up at the crack of dawn just how much sleep will you get ?

None!!

I can tell you. I have returned from a great holiday with my best friend, my DS 6, her DD's 6 & 7 and her DSD 12. We went to entertainment every night and DC's up until 11/12 ish. They slept in the 2 bedrooms and by the time we got to sleep in the lounge it was 1am ish at the earliest. We were up with DC's from 7.30am ish. We only booked 4 nights and were absolutely knackered. And that was with the added benefit of a 12yo who took DC's off to the park for 1/2 hour 3 times a day to give us a chance to tidy up and get ready for the day.

I really did have a wonderful time but wouldn't recommend it for a relaxing break. And certainly wouldn't do it because someone else made me (I'm a LP).

Maryz · 11/08/2011 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeaver · 11/08/2011 15:38

Speechless. Utterly speechless

kenobi · 11/08/2011 15:42

See what youarekidding said?

See her posting name? THAT'S what you say to your DP!

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2011 15:50

Just to add this to the mix.

Your MIL is 53 I think you said and has nabbed married a man in his late 30s?

Do you realise that when they come back from the pub late at night, having woken you up, you will hear them having sex?

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2011 15:53

Many of these responses have had me crying with laughter, particularly ShoutyHamster's:

If I were you I would also call MIL just to check all this out, because it sounds as if some wires have got crossed:

'MIL, you know this unpaid babysitting week you're getting me to do? You do realise that those are the dates for the HOLIDAY you booked for us? I'm just checking, because as those two experiences are basically diametrically opposed, you must have the weeks mixed up. They can't exist together, right? When exactly is the unpaid babysitting week?'

Shodan · 11/08/2011 15:56

Just

DH is wondering why your DH doesn't seem to value his balls life very much...

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 11/08/2011 16:01

What time is he due home?

pictish · 11/08/2011 16:14

Nay nay and thrice NAY!!

Not a chance!!!!

If you're going, HE is going too, or nobody goes. End of.

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