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AIBU?

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Original poster

to hope that this man leaves his wife for someone nicer?

97 replies

FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 11:49

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2022098/Could-live-man-whos-let-When-Basia-met-husband-slim-ballooned-love-began-shrivel-away.html

What a horrible woman. Hmm

OP posts:
OP posts:
Lucyinthepie · 04/08/2011 11:50

No she isn't. She cared enough to keep on at him until he changed something. He was en route to an early grave.

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 11:57

"So, for his own good, I told him he was fat and ugly. Did he care? Apparently not, although occasionally he would ask ?Am I really ugly?? and I?d say ?Yes ? look in the mirror?.

But it made no difference to his diet and, by our 20th wedding anniversary, he was 19st 5lb, and only 57. His once chiselled face was florid and he had huge jowls. So I stepped my haranguing up a gear. ?You have become a gross fat pig,? I told him. ?You are grotesque?."

Hmm
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swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lucyinthepie · 04/08/2011 11:59

It worked didn't it? He seems happy enough about it as well. We don't know how their relationship works and if he isn't bothered then I don't think we need to be. Better an insulted husband than a dead one I reckon.

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2011 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bananasplitz · 04/08/2011 12:04

can you imagine a poster on here saying their husband called them an ugly fat sow, you are an ugly cow and assorted insults

now how many would say he was right Grin

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:05

No I'm not swallowed; I'm a size 12. I just think that calling the person you purport to love a grotesque fat pig is unacceptable.

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Nagini · 04/08/2011 12:06

After 20 years she said that? meh.

He'd got to the point where he was unhealthy, she'd tried softly softly and it didn't work.

If this was a man saying it to a woman I'd be of the same opinion after all this time. He admits that it was her getting at him that made him lose the weight and now he's enjoying his life far more.

Nagini · 04/08/2011 12:07

We'd say that someone that overweight should think about themselves and their health, and not do it for the nagging husband but for their own good banana :) Same as for this man.

BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 12:09

can you imagine a poster on here saying their husband called them an ugly fat sow, you are an ugly cow and assorted insults

The base response to that from MN would be leave the bastard Grin

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:10

Exactly banana; that's my point. Does anyone think it would be acceptable for a man to harangue his wife with insults about her weight for years on end? 'For her own good'?

So why is it ok for her to do so? Her motivation appears, by her own admission, to have been mainly feeling embarrassed by his appearance in front of all their very important, rich, thin and probably surgically enhanced friends.

She just seems repulsive to me; all the name dropping, her obsession with appearances and wealth, and seeming proud that she repeatedly told her husband how ugly and grotesque he was. Hmm

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Deflatedballoonbelly · 04/08/2011 12:11

She is a funny looking thing, isnt she? Skinny body and a heyooge bonce.

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:12

This is why I should stick to the guardian and the inde, see; the DM just puts my blood pressure right up. Grin

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tethersend · 04/08/2011 12:14

She seems like she has a few issues herself.

Agree with OP.

MyCatHasStaff · 04/08/2011 12:14

She is vile, and proud of it Shock Angry

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:15

If your partner is overweight to the point where they're endangering their health, then that is what you need to get them to realise - that they're killing themselves slowly. Not that they are 'grotesque' and 'ugly'. If you don't find them attractive, tell them so, but without insulting and undermining.

Yes Deflated, she is; mucho work done, methinks.

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Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:21

Nagini said "After 20 years she said that? meh.
He'd got to the point where he was unhealthy, she'd tried softly softly and it didn't work."

After 20 years of nagging and insulting him! This is not the behaviour of two adults in a respectful relationship. He is a fully autonomous adult; if she doesn't like his behaviour then she should tell him respectfully, and if it's a deal breaker, then she should leave. Insulting him all the time is emotionally abusive.

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SuePurblybilt · 04/08/2011 12:26

Do you think he'll have an honest conversation with her about her frozen rictus grinning face now?

FakePlasticTrees · 04/08/2011 12:30

When DH gained a bit of weight and was feeling self conscious about it, I told him I still found him sexy, but let's do something about it to make us both healthier and started cooking healthier and lighter meals.

I've come back from holiday last week having gained 4lbs, and when I complained to DH about it he said I look hot, but if I want to eat healthy this week, he's fine with that, and to let him know if I want him to be back from work early any evening this week if I want to go for a run/to the gym.

See, that's how people who care about the feelings of the person they live with deal with the 'am I fat?' question. You dont tell someone they are ugly and expect them to feel motivated to get in shape. What a cow.

Original poster
FigsAndWine · 04/08/2011 12:38

Grin at Sue

Exactly Fake.

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ImperialBlether · 04/08/2011 12:44

I think she was really cruel. I know she was worried about his health, and I can see why, but to say he was ugly? Grotesque? That's really awful.

Couldn't she have put it in the hands of the doctors? He'd be in BUPA or similar if he's got a HOUSE in Sloane Square. (Sorry to shout there, just seen the price of houses there.) Surely he'd be having annual checkups?

He looked really old though, in the photos, particularly after he'd lost weight. Is he meant to be still in his 50s?

ImperialBlether · 04/08/2011 12:45

What was interesting was that her comments didn't seem to affect his self esteem and that once he decided to lose weight, he just went ahead and did it, without stopping.

That is so unlike the way most women are, concerning their weight.

TobyLerone · 04/08/2011 12:47

Rather than call my ex-husband a grotesque, fat pig, I divorced him. Partly, but not entirely, because he had grown fat and unattractive (to me). Turned out to be a good call, as he still appears to be gaining weight. He does have a fiancée now, though, who is obviously blind a better person than I am, as she doesn't appear to mind.

Wallissimpson · 04/08/2011 12:48

Well, I would tell my DH if he got fat to lose weight. I want him to remain slim and healthy and I fancy him like that, I don't fancy him fat.

And he would say the exact same to me. I think not caring if your partner gets fat isn't helpful for them. The fact that we know that if either of us got fat we wouldn't be fancied keeps us on our toes.

I think this woman is spot on. Asking him nicely didn't work and now he's trim and they are both happy.

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