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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not pay for this takeaway meal?

352 replies

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 10:20

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 01/08/2011 22:48

i dont think she does Piglet simply because most non drivers dont behave like this and most drivers know that. I would always offer lifts if I am able to, always, but its only if someone demands it as the OPs cousin did that I would refuse.

You would get a lift off me every time piglet :)

uninspired · 01/08/2011 22:52

Can't believe I missed this thread or the cheek of your cousin or my shameless placemarking

Portofino · 01/08/2011 22:52

I want to come! I live in Belgium but will be in Leeds on Friday night. Please tell me you live in Leeds....

goodasgold · 01/08/2011 23:24

.hehehe

Curiousmama · 01/08/2011 23:42

So glad you sent that text Smile Loving this thread, read almost all of it. You lot are so norty Grin

pigletmania · 02/08/2011 08:42

Aww thanks bogey, Smile. I would love to learn again but money is a bit tight at the moment with a dc 2 on the way. I will never say never thiugh

G1nger · 02/08/2011 10:27

Your text was indeed very nice. Too nice, in my opinion (but maybe you're just nicer than me!). If she finds something to complain about there, she's really trying.

Curiousmama · 02/08/2011 10:35

Yes op is very nice. I'd have binned her tbh but the cousin knows how to manipulate people. I used to have a friend like this.

squeezemebakingpowder · 02/08/2011 11:26

Great text!
Now you MUST stand your ground over the taxi....go girl you can do it
Grin

BaronessBomburst · 02/08/2011 12:43
MissJanuary · 02/08/2011 13:08

marking place - the level of her rudeness is extrordinary

SugarPasteFrog · 02/08/2011 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBaggins · 02/08/2011 21:04

I bringWine Grin

LemonDifficult · 02/08/2011 21:07

Yes, let's have a BBQ. I'll bring my famous emmental and chocolate kababs.

MoaningMcMyrtlepants · 02/08/2011 21:29

Any news yet? Has she replied?

Bogeyface · 02/08/2011 21:56

I can bring spatchcock lemon chicken and cous cous and lots of wine!

pigletmania · 02/08/2011 22:06

What the hell is spatchcock chicken Confused

lilmissminx · 02/08/2011 22:21

pmsl piglet spatchcock chicken is a whole chicken opened out from underneath and cooked flat in basic terms! Tesco do a stunning garlic one for £4 Cooks a bit quicker than a whole one would normally too

Bogeyface · 03/08/2011 00:54

WSS^^

And it tastes AMAZING!!

Bogeyface · 03/08/2011 00:55

Although I should add that you do need a fairly strong stomach to a) cut through the appropriate areas and b) break the bones to get it flat.......ralph...

empirestateofmind · 03/08/2011 04:21

I am looking forward to the Friday update Smile

uninspired · 03/08/2011 12:45

Have you had a reply to your text yet TidyDancer?

TidyDancer · 03/08/2011 18:44

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay in getting on here! Was DP's birthday yesterday, so the GPs took the offspring and DP and I had a nice dinner and lots of alcohol sex fun! Grin

Reply came from my cousin this morning, "Are we not getting a takeaway then?". I replied "No, the weather is supposed to be nice still so I thought it would be fun to eat outside.". "Oh ok." came her reply.

I'm really annoyed with her now. Instead of being grateful for a nice dinner, she's going to be arsey and I'll be expected to compensate for her disappointment. Grrr.

Thanks for all the support, you are all lovely and I would quite happily have you all over for dinner!

I haven't broached the subject of the lifts yet....I am still thinking how best to phrase that!

OP posts:
SuePurblybilt · 03/08/2011 18:46

I hate to be a scroogeypants but - what will you do if it rains? You have to have a plan B that isn't a takeaway Grin

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/08/2011 19:03

Yes, fgs don't get a takeaway if it pisses it down :o

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