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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not pay for this takeaway meal?

352 replies

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 10:20

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

OP posts:
Nagini · 31/07/2011 20:11

blantant place marking in attempt to get BBQ invite.

I'll have the lobster.

Obviously I'll need a lift home. Grin

Bogeyface · 31/07/2011 20:13

Nagini, I'll need one too so the OP can drop us both off and save herself 2 trips :o

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 20:15

Mighty, it was something like "I thought you would be getting us a takeaway". I don't remember exactly how it was phrased, but it was quite obvious she would not be contributing. Not to mention that she never has before.

The tattoo....well what can I say? My family need to come with a health warning, they're all batshit crazy. Grin

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 20:16

Bugger, I'm going to have to strap you lot to the roofrack to get everyone home, aren't I? Wink

OP posts:
MightyQuim · 31/07/2011 20:18

In that case why didn't you just say 'No DH is cooking'?

Nagini · 31/07/2011 20:19

Well tidy I assumed that you'd be hiring a luxury coach?

PaWithABra · 31/07/2011 20:22

why can't your son have chips from the chippy ? why do you bother cooking oven chips when you are going to a take away ?

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 20:24

Well I haven't said a definitive yes or no yet, Mighty. She made it a statement rather than a question, but I will be saying no.

That would solve it, wouldn't it, Nagini? Alternatively, I could just pitch you all a tent in the garden!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 20:24

Pa, I already answered that. :)

OP posts:
Portofino · 31/07/2011 20:25

Pa - I think the idea was that you get a chinese and OP doesn't want to pay for chips for ds - who eats half a dozen and wastes the rest, when he could have a handful of oven chips for free.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 31/07/2011 20:25

I can do crazy and BBQs Wink

PaWithABra I would imagine the OP's DS wouldn't eat a full potion of chips, therefore it would be a waste to buy them.

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 20:26

Exactly. He would never get through a whole portion. If we have chip shop chips, he will eat some of what DP and I have. He's not banned from eating fried food, I just refuse to waste money.

OP posts:
MrsBaggins · 31/07/2011 20:29

No not lychees - we call them "eyeballs" in this house Grin .Isnt there a really smelly fruit when ripe or maybe I am imagining it.
Loving your family and their hilarious tattoos btw -makes mine look "normal" (they are not) Grin

puzzlesum · 31/07/2011 20:34

MrsBaggins. Durian fruit?

NattersAndMutters · 31/07/2011 20:34

Durian.

NatureorNurture · 31/07/2011 20:35

Is it Durian fruit you're thinking of-tastes like heaven, smells like hell?

MrsBaggins · 31/07/2011 20:37

Yes !

Bogeyface · 31/07/2011 20:37

A tent?! FFS, how cheap are you?!

I will settle for a Travelodge at the absolute least :o I dont mind sharing a room though, I am not totally unreasonable!

MrsBaggins · 31/07/2011 20:39

Doubt you can get them in Tesco though Grin

ravenAK · 31/07/2011 20:39

Durian fruit?

Bogeyface · 31/07/2011 20:41

My uncle is a chef and said that the only thing he couldnt bring himself to eat was that fruit that smells rotten. He said that the smell made him want to heave so he refused to to try it! Oddly enough I have never felt moved to seek it out to try it!

Bogeyface · 31/07/2011 20:42

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

Bogeyface · 31/07/2011 20:43

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

Bugger, sorry

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 31/07/2011 20:47

Have just read the tattoo thread...classic GrinGrinGrin

MrsBaggins · 31/07/2011 20:47

Ok- OP we have the menu sorted -what time will you expect us on Friday ? I will bring wine and will make my own way homeGrin

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