To think some people choose parenting as a hobby?

[MumblingRagDoll]

What I mean is those people who seem to make a "thing" about it all....talking about their parenting choices as though they're inventing a new philosophy....such "Baby Wearing" and "Unonditional Parenting" and so on....I mean ifyou wat to use a sling do it...I did...but it''s not a special way of parenting ffs....they seems to grab onto fads and fashions regarding DC and then live it as a religion.

These people will blog about their lives in minute detail...and just....I don't know... really LIVE the choices. I don't know why it irritates me it just does. I have friends who have DC the same age as my elder child (7) and they're still talking about the birth as if it was yesterday and still living their lives totally through their kids...no hobbies or interests apart from the kids...so taking little Sophie to ballet, ridng, drama. playdates is the be al and end all of their life.

There's nothing wrong of course with being interested in your DC....of course not....I am consumed by my DC in a normal way....but the way some people "get into it" as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar or something.... I find it odd and detrimental to other relationships...my sister and one of my friends is like this....I wonder wht will happen to them when the children get older and begin to lve their own lives.

What a starnge question. I never said that reading about my children was my only hobby. I will read about other stuff as well, as I do now
Not to mention my parenting won't stop when they're older - I will read about parenting older children, education...

Amen to that Mumbling and of course, for the 'uber' hobbyist-parent there is the added benefit of some competitive boasting on MN...

I wouldn't mind what other parents do if they could just stop looking down their noses at other opinions that don't match theirs. We're all different, working hard to bring up our children as best we can. No need for a fanfare nor a string of ridiculously obvious 'techniques'; commonsense really but' with incredibly precious and stupid names.

As an adult you can develop interests or hobbies at any time, you don't have to do them from day one and stick to them.

My interests have changed over the years and will continue to do so.

When my DC's were under the age of 7, i didn't have hobbies, i didn't need any, i enjoyed all of the things that they did. In fairness, i worked also, but that was it, i didn't have the time, energy or really want to fit anything else in.

Now my middle DD is nearly 16 and my youngest is happy to stay with family, if i am doing something that she doesn't or cannot do. I am looking forward to the next phase in my life.

Nothing has to be set in stone, you can change to suit yourself at any point in your life.

I see threads on here all the time asking "am i to old to..", well in my view your never to old to try anything new.

Amen to the "become overbearing" thing. My mum always wanted a large family (over 6) but ended up with 2, had an 'accident' which nearly caused the downfall of her marriage to my dad and now insists on 'parenting' my DC rather than grandparenting. It drives me bonkers but I have no way of telling her to do one without seeming ungrateful to the help she gives.

I don't get why people let their kids become their whole being, surely it interferes with your marriage and friendships?

TBH I think that the rise of "special" terms is down to the Internet. It's easier to type "I did BLW with DS" than "With DS, I waited until he was sitting up and grabbing food for himself, and then I offered him whatever regular food I was eating without pureeing or mashing anything or putting anything in his mouth, and I didn't worry (or indeed have much idea) about how much he was actually eating."

At least, I only use terms like BLW, etc., on the Internet. If I'm having real conversations with real life people I don't.

"What will you read when they are older? Stealth"

What a stupid question and what a shame that you have planned your own reading list for the rest of your life. I have continually gained qualifications since my eldest was about 7, academic and 'alternative'.

I have found that more so now, women continually change and develop, it doesn't have to be as it was in your MIL's 'day', many women bring up their DC's and then do degrees.

I think it is a pity when you come across people who think that life has to follow an order, it doesn't.

Oh come on, don't you all want to play Best Mum??

Completely agree. But it took me a couple of months to realise I couldn't be the perfect mum. I love my son to bits though so hopefully that'll do him!

tbh I am fniding my "parenting" interests overlap with my others as well. My "parenting" interests include breastfeeding and maternity services, and my "other" interests include public health and epidemiology (which I am currently reading about)

I was given/ bought about 3 parenting manuals baby books. I referred to one during the pregnancy to see what bump would look like but by the time he came home from hospital at 3 days it was clear he wouldn't conform to it.

I make mistakes, I get things right, I do everything I can for DS but I also have learnt now do things for myself.

Re: BLW. I commented about a year ago on a thread that I'd done that but didn't know it had a name as I thought it was called 'feeding your child'

I think on the whole YANBU as it seems you have direct experience of people like this.

birds I'm halfway through OU degree and DS now 7. I am enjoying the thought that when he gets to secondary school I can have a decent career.

yy SPB; my parenting interests and professional development (am a CM) overlap considerably, and each informs the other in a virtuous circle [Brian Sewell tones used]

praps I mean Venn diagram?

I think my professional and parenting interests must count as parenting related as I'm doing EY and maths degree and training to become a teacher.

I meant count as overlapping.

I have never read a parenting book or magazine in my life, and just started giving my kids baby rice when they seemed hungry (going back to mid nineties now, before BLW was "invented".

Tried and failed at BF (both boys in scubu on tube feeds for weeks so too late to get established) but I don't remember feeling particularly upset about it and certainly no one queried my FF them.

I know someone who keeps having babies because she has a sort of gap to fill each time the next youngest starts school. She has six now.

Much as I love my son and of course I'm a bit obsessed about him, I've always had hobbies, karate, choir, dancing, etc and regularly gone out with my mates for nights out and weekends, so I don't think I'll be too bad in two years when ds2 goes to Uni.

I don't understand why woman become martyrs, my one friend had a 9 months of horrific sickness through her pregnancies, (two) and now her youngest is 10 months old 'co sleeper' either she or he has been constantly ill.

He still wakes twice a night to be exclusively breast fed, (she plans to bf until he is 18 months, and is totally against sleep training of any method, if he cries, he gets boob) quite honestly she is not fun to be around, she doesn't put him down, or leave her toddler alone, and does
everything to the book. I wonder what her life was before she had children, And I shudder if she will have anymore.

Birds it wasn't a "stupid question" anymore than your comment as a stupid comment....it was tongue in cheek. Or has your sense of humour failed you?

parenting has become the last acceptable refuge for stealth snobs. Most of these silly fads (baby led weaning/baby wearing) along with things like competitive breastfeeding and banning television are basically ways for people who need to look down on other people to do it with a vaguely respectable veneer. Its no longer acceptable to put other adults down because of where they went to school/what they wear/what they watch on TV, but you can do it if children are involved.

I think it's a bit arrogant to criticise anyone for wanting some help and guidance. Just because you knew what to do when your child seemed hungry (what foods were suitable, how much to expect blah blah) doesn't mean other people do.

Obviously that's no reason for anyone to get obsessive about it, unless they really want to/feel it's really important that other people know about x,y,z which is where it all gets a bit much - whereas most people I think are only interested in each part of their kids development as it's happening. Weaning is interesting at the time, but not generally when your DC are 15.

more chips here than mcdonalds!

LaWeasel No...I'mnot criticissing anyone for looking at a book...I did....for recipies etc. Its those people who wrap themselves in maternity like some kind of cloak of honour...

and i think it's a bit of a sneering premise. appreciate that may not have been intention of op, but others have taken that and run with it.

Criticising even!

A lot of the terms (BLW/EBF/AP etc) is just internet shorthand though, I haven't heard terms like that used among my friends in real life.

indeed, rita.