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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think some people choose parenting as a hobby?

330 replies

MumblingRagDoll · 30/07/2011 08:47

What I mean is those people who seem to make a "thing" about it all....talking about their parenting choices as though they're inventing a new philosophy....such "Baby Wearing" and "Unonditional Parenting" and so on....I mean ifyou wat to use a sling do it...I did...but it''s not a special way of parenting ffs....they seems to grab onto fads and fashions regarding DC and then live it as a religion.

These people will blog about their lives in minute detail...and just....I don't know... really LIVE the choices. I don't know why it irritates me it just does. I have friends who have DC the same age as my elder child (7) and they're still talking about the birth as if it was yesterday and still living their lives totally through their kids...no hobbies or interests apart from the kids...so taking little Sophie to ballet, ridng, drama. playdates is the be al and end all of their life.

There's nothing wrong of course with being interested in your DC....of course not....I am consumed by my DC in a normal way....but the way some people "get into it" as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar or something.... I find it odd and detrimental to other relationships...my sister and one of my friends is like this....I wonder wht will happen to them when the children get older and begin to lve their own lives.

OP posts:
ThePosieParker · 01/08/2011 15:07

Exclusively self feeding at seven months, a little help with finding their mouths with a spoon isn't feeding. I guess this is what pisses people off about the BLW label. Helping a baby frustrated with a spoon at four months is not my idea of spoon feeding.

ThePosieParker · 01/08/2011 15:09

Actually what's the bloody difference? Any evidence to suggest BLW is better? Nah thought not.

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:11

Are you upset about the idea of spoon feeding Posie? I didn't realise it was such a dirty word!

Sure, you helped your babies with a spoon if that is somehow better than spoon feeding.

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 15:12

Parents really do what they want to do-they dress it up as baby or DC choice but the parent is the one with the agenda.

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 15:13

If the parent didn't have the agenda and the baby was really up to leading it I would bet there was a lot of sugar and chocolate. Grin

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:13

Better for some babies/parents, not for others I suspect Posie. Just like anything else. My ds liked being helped with a spoon, other babies only want to feed themselves.

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 15:22

The only thing that really needs to be baby led is letting them do it themselves if they want to. Maybe some babies don't want to- in the same way some are walking at 9 months and some at 18months. They all get there in the end and no one can tell, looking at my strapping DSs which was the early walker! No one can tell which one needed more help with a spoon. It really doesn't matter.

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:27

Exactly, so why get all het up if other people do BLW?

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 15:29

Because it isn't baby led-the parent has decided the agenda in advance.

SeniorWrangler · 01/08/2011 15:34

I agree that mothers get all obsessed with baby trends and make them a lifestyle, immersing themselves into it all as a form of surrogate identity.

A personal view is that children turn out mostly OK whatever you do to them as long as there's love, regular meals, and regular bedtimes.

BTW I think some of the slings adored by mothers for very young babies present potential cot death risks. Very worrying trend, that. And I worry that BLW done badly leads to an increased choking risk.

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:38

Which slings present a cot death risk?

SeniorWrangler · 01/08/2011 15:42

The wraparound ones where the baby is more or less completely contained within. In the wrong hands they could overheat/smother. I believe this has happened in the US.

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 15:42

I think that I am just too old! It will be interesting in 10/20 yrs time to see the current trend/'in' philosophy.

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:46

I think you might be confusing wraps with pouch slings - think there was a safety issue with them in the US.

You could smother/overheat a baby in any type of sling or pram. Prams are a risk when people take bundled up babies into hot shops. Carseats are a risk too - there have been cot deaths in them.

SeniorWrangler · 01/08/2011 15:48

It's the chin to chest problem, as I understand it. My doula put DC4 in one (a peanut?) and he was all curled up in it like a little mouse. It looked cute but I was not convinced it was a healthy arrangement. We've got a Baby Bjorn thing that is basically a hands-free transport device and little else, and that seemed more appropriate.

TandB · 01/08/2011 15:49

Smothering isn't cot death.

And it is bag slings that have been found to be dangerous - nothing to do with wraps at all.

PirateDinosaur · 01/08/2011 15:53

Yes, the SlingRider is/was a one-shoulder pouch style and not a wraparound style at all.

fastweb · 01/08/2011 15:53

BTW I think some of the slings adored by mothers for very young babies present potential cot death risks

I think you mean the suffocation risk connected to some designs ?

People who use slings don't seem to be deprived of info regarding which designs have been associated with a risk and what issues to look out for. This is just one example, but having dipped into the world of slings this afternoon, most sites seem very keen to make sure people know how to use them safety.

Pushchairs and prams have risks too, tipping, faulty brakes taking them into traffic and under trains, collapsing in on themselves.

I don't see the those choosing to use a sling are any less willing to do what the pushchair using mums do and make sure they know how to properly use what they've picked, for both the safety and comfort of all concerned.

The risk of choking is present with any child moving on to non mashed foods regardless of whether they had an early start to weaning on something soft and lump free.

My kid did the typical Italian wean from 4 months onwards.

He still did his best to give me heart attack a couple of months on when finger foods came on the menu.

I think over egged and assumed risks are as much a part of the "raised hackles" problem as over optimistic assumed benefits.

RitaMorgan · 01/08/2011 15:55

Slings where the baby is upright on your chest or cradled close to you shouldn't be aproblem as their heads are kept up - it's the bag ones that hang down that caused problems.

I wasn't keen on the baby bjorn for health/safety issues either Grin

TandB · 01/08/2011 15:58

"I think over egged and assumed risks are as much a part of the "raised hackles" problem as over optimistic assumed benefits."

Agreed. I have never forgotten the slightly mad Thai lady who pursued me around the supermarket grabbing at DS and telling him to "keep still baby or you will fall off" and shrieking "OhmygodisitSAFE?" at me. She didn't seem to get the sarcasm when I said "No. It's not safe. I'm just THAT irresponsible". I think that got me another two aisles' worth of "help" from her. I only got rid of her when I finally lost it and decided to demonstrate that he wouldn't fall off even if I did a little dance. Blush

fastweb · 01/08/2011 16:11

I have never forgotten the slightly mad Thai lady

Bet she was fun to shop around. Grin

She must have left the country a long time ago. Or it has changed a lot. One or the other. I don't remember seeing many pushchairs or prams when I lived in Bangkok. In fact apart from the expat mums at the kinder I worked at, I think they were vanishingly rare.

Kids tended to carried.

It wasn't just a money thing. MIL had her servants carry her youngest everywhere and they sort of fashioned a sling out of some fabric.

I had insistent Italian Nonnas running after me claiming I was deforming the baby's back in both the sling and my slinky slimline city pushchair. Perhaps they hadn't noticed that half the pavements were so narrow that a pram would have had to do a constant sideways wheelie to avoid flopping into the road.

Mind you whatever you do the insistent Italian Nonnas are going to be on your case.

I think they think it is their job.

fastweb · 01/08/2011 16:15

Ex MIL, not now MIL. Current one would LIKE servants, but hasn't actually got any.

TandB · 01/08/2011 18:34

Yes, I was puzzled about her level of panic given the child-carrying culture in Thailand. I am pretty sure she was Thai - but in any event, most eastern countries use carriers pretty heavily. Maybe it was because he was on my back. Or maybe she reacted like that even when she was in her home country - must have been exhausting!

sundayrose10 · 01/08/2011 19:25

what the bloody is blw?

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