To think some people choose parenting as a hobby?

[MumblingRagDoll]

What I mean is those people who seem to make a "thing" about it all....talking about their parenting choices as though they're inventing a new philosophy....such "Baby Wearing" and "Unonditional Parenting" and so on....I mean ifyou wat to use a sling do it...I did...but it''s not a special way of parenting ffs....they seems to grab onto fads and fashions regarding DC and then live it as a religion.

These people will blog about their lives in minute detail...and just....I don't know... really LIVE the choices. I don't know why it irritates me it just does. I have friends who have DC the same age as my elder child (7) and they're still talking about the birth as if it was yesterday and still living their lives totally through their kids...no hobbies or interests apart from the kids...so taking little Sophie to ballet, ridng, drama. playdates is the be al and end all of their life.

There's nothing wrong of course with being interested in your DC....of course not....I am consumed by my DC in a normal way....but the way some people "get into it" as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar or something.... I find it odd and detrimental to other relationships...my sister and one of my friends is like this....I wonder wht will happen to them when the children get older and begin to lve their own lives.

I dont think anyone here is qualified to tell others (who they don't know) that they "need help".

I have a friend who does endless classes with her toddler, toddler has a dedicated playroom filled with toys and my friend plays with her the whole time. They do baking and painting and goodness knows what else. They have a fair amount of money so the toys are all really lovely - big wooden kitchens and ride on cars and all the rest.

My friend and her toddler are both lovely but I do come away feeling exhausted and very glad to get back to my own life. I love my DC to bits but no WAY would I have the energy/resources/inclination to do all that. It is noticeable that when we are round there it is all about the kids, rather than us having a chat and attending to the kids incidentally as needed.

and yet you are quite fine to write 'the way some people "get into it" as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar or something.... I find it odd and detrimental to other relationships...my sister and one of my friends is like this....I wonder wht will happen to them when the children get older and begin to lve their own lives'?

you don't see that you are saying much the same thing there?

what are you thinking will happen to these people, other than they will be sad and mad?

or were you meaning that they would go on to be happy and fulfilled having taken the opportunity to enjoy bringing up their kids in the manner that they felt best?

that to mumblingragdoll.

I began this thread as a way of getting out my irritation....I mean...I co-sleep, used a sling for a while and did BLW (boak) but I never DISCUSS it....or compare fecking notes...my mate had her DS in his cot from day one and she never would have dreamed of a sling...I am sure if I started harping on about how I "wore" my DD and how marvellous it was....she would have felt insecure...she was hormonal and we ALL struggle at first...I wish people would get on with what they choose and shut up about it.

I think it's about having a little reservation in order to not offend others....kind of like politics....you don't really discuss your beliefs socially...unless of course you're with others of the same "party" and you KNOW that for sure.

Spareroomsleeper you do sound just the teensiest bit patronising.

Aitch insinuaating someone has mental health issues is not the same as saying someone is obsessed...

see i don't think it's like politics at all, i will always happily discuss political beliefs with anyone, after all they are beliefs.

i think you have met some rude people with poor social skills, is all, and you didn't bother to put them straight. how someone banging on about their kids could cause actual offence i still fail to see. it can and does cause boredom, but offence? don't get it.

innappropriate obsession/fixation is a mhi, isn't it? can't count the amount of times i've seen 'it's not healthy' and variations thereof on this thread.

Bully for kangaroos. They dont have to also carry nappies, wipes, spare vest, purse, mobile phone, library books, and some tesco shopping on the way home.

I love this response-it made me smile!

I don't mind at all if people do it. The ones that annoy me are the ones that go a step further and have it as a virtue, as if you are not connected to your baby unless you co sleep and 'wear' them.

They lose sight of the fact that you can be glued to your baby and still be a lousy parent.

Having known a lot of DCs through from babies (or bumps even) to adults you really can't tell. Some of those who thought they were so wonderful in the early years don't have the sort of adult relationship that you would expect-from the way they went on about it at the time!

There is a lot more to it that how you choose to transport them-or your sleeping arrangements etc

well of course i wouldn't be caught dead in tesco...

Having read this thread all the way through I cannot understand why some of you are being so nasty to SpareRoomSleeper. What did she say that was so unreasonable?!

Suggesting that some people 'choose parenting as a hobby' is a pretty hostile comment in the first place.

It's not hostile. Hostile would be "AIBU to think some parents are idiots?"

Really misdee? I live in a small house and my silver cross goes though the door fine. My double is one of those tandems so no trouble with that but its rubbish for shopping.

I bought a mamas and papas from a charity shope and was thrilled with it. Until I put it together inside the house and then realise I couldnt get it out of the house . It wouldnt even go through the play group doors. Who the hell invented that?

I will be checking into my local sling support group ASAP to get the help I need thanks.

oh come now, mumbling, have the courage of your convictions... it is hostile... if not, i take it that you have had this conversation, in this same tone, with your sister and your friend, the ones who "'get into it' as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar"? there's nothing like saying people are immature for starting a nice family conversation, is there?

Gosh, SpareRoomSleeper, please try to read the nice posts and ignore the mad, nasty ones. I am really shocked by some of the responses you had and glad Aitch said, so eloquently, exactly what I feel.

After being on the receiving end of insults such as I'm a "total bore", "smug", and that "I have my head stuck up my arse" by changing, (to whom I am a complete stranger on the web) simply because I'm proud of my SUPER smart DD, I think from first hand experience I can say she needs help

"My sister in particular is so judgey about other people"

Ahem...pot, kettle, black?

Aitch it's just NOT hostile....it's a debate.

No idea what you are all argueing about anymore

About the baby wearing, awful term, the only people that annoy anyone about parenting choices are those that sneer upon others for theirs. So both sneering pram pushers and sling users are idiots aren't they?!

Although I did sneer at one woman who fit a certain type and whose child had a shaved head bar his long dreads at the back, dirty dirty dirty child, I wouldn't have minded or noticed until he screamed at me in a park because I asked if he was okay.

it's a debate posited around a hostile premise, to pretend otherwise is a bit embarrassing.

anyway, how did the debate go when you raised it with your sister?

Thank you humphreyCobbler...I havn't take any of it to heart; I've had a lovely day out with my DD in the sun today so am feeling relaxed and content.

Maybe people (probably people dissatisfied with their own selves and lives), can react very negativelyto people who openly express satisfaction and happiness - like I did and do, unashamedly. It's taken me all sorts of battles to get where I am today, in every way - believe you me, and I feel the battles I have won for a better life are without a doubt evident in my DD's character and personality. So I will shout my satisfaction and pride from the rooftops if I want to, because it's taken me a heck of a lot of effort and resilience and courage!
I personally believe that instead of wasting so much energy and effort hating and speculating over strangers, they should use it positively and concentrate on their own lives.

So changing...Im sorry I said you need help; I don't really know you (apart from the roasting you've given me on here ) so I can't say you need help or not. I do however think that after what you've said to me throughout this thread and the way you've reacted to my initial post, its made me feel as though you are genuinely unhappy about something in your own life. Or not, I don't know. After all, there is no tone and messages on a screen can be really misleading. I hope you don't take this the wrong way; I'm honestly not trying to be sarcastic or patronising.

< tea and biscuits all around>