Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people choose parenting as a hobby?

330 replies

MumblingRagDoll · 30/07/2011 08:47

What I mean is those people who seem to make a "thing" about it all....talking about their parenting choices as though they're inventing a new philosophy....such "Baby Wearing" and "Unonditional Parenting" and so on....I mean ifyou wat to use a sling do it...I did...but it''s not a special way of parenting ffs....they seems to grab onto fads and fashions regarding DC and then live it as a religion.

These people will blog about their lives in minute detail...and just....I don't know... really LIVE the choices. I don't know why it irritates me it just does. I have friends who have DC the same age as my elder child (7) and they're still talking about the birth as if it was yesterday and still living their lives totally through their kids...no hobbies or interests apart from the kids...so taking little Sophie to ballet, ridng, drama. playdates is the be al and end all of their life.

There's nothing wrong of course with being interested in your DC....of course not....I am consumed by my DC in a normal way....but the way some people "get into it" as if they were a teenager obsessed with a rockstar or something.... I find it odd and detrimental to other relationships...my sister and one of my friends is like this....I wonder wht will happen to them when the children get older and begin to lve their own lives.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 31/07/2011 13:07

lol yak, i know what you mean. the first sling i got was highly recommended in all the mags and websites etc and utter pish. then my pal gave me her old one and that was fine. but then dd2 was prem, so the sling was perfect for taking her out for a looooooong while, esp with a demanding toddler to attend to.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 31/07/2011 13:13

yy YAK, I had a sling with DS1 but enormo-boobage made it tricky to put on so that got jumble-saled; if I'd had someone to say look knot/tie/buckle and place baby JUST SO I would have been v appreciative

The other thing is that years ago there were no groups in my area, no BF cafe, no LLL, (nearest was in I think Worcester or Swansea, summat like that, no use to me AT ALL) we had no internettie and it just me and DH, plus baby and my parents (mum never bf any of us) MIL 400 miles away and rubbish HV

(ooh what a splurge that was)

But I never felt bad about front facing buggy/failed bf/pureeeing#, we just did what we needed to do to get through

#DS2 was nsc, big style Grin

SiamoFottuti · 31/07/2011 13:16

if you'd been to a sling meet though, you would have found all the wonders that are not in the shops or mentioned in magazines. I have a stretchy wrap that has been passed around to friends/acquanitances with new babies, I think its on its 12th baby now, and every one of them has loved it.

Laquitar · 31/07/2011 13:18

Tbh Aitch i said nothing in the begining. Sometimes you dont want a philosophical debate. So i just kept moving but she followed me around Grin. In the end i dold her to leave me alone. Another time i told a preecher in my very spanish accent 'sorry no understand english' Grin

It is different on the internet. You click the thread re slings or blw or whatever because you want to talk about it or to read about it. But in RL it is tiring having others lecturing you about their 'methods' when you just want to play with your baby or read stories or drink tea.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 31/07/2011 13:19

Bloody hate slings. My kids are just soooooo heavy. I look at little bits carrying great big hoofters and feel very inadequate.

BLW and all that - didnt know about it all till I cam on the internet. It took me ages to work out what they all meant and it was stuff we had all been doing for every. It just had a name now. That means people can write books about it and have opinions about it.

Not so easy when it was 'handing a baby a carrot to shut it up for a bit'

I particuarly dislike the 'unconditional/intuitive/natural parenting' labels. They are judgemental by their very nature.

Like the rest of us are conditional/dense/unnatural parents

AitchTwoOh · 31/07/2011 13:23

ah well you see that's where we differ, laquitar, there would not be a time when i wouldn't want to get to grips with someone so rude as to say that i wasn't in tune with my kid because i used a pushchair... Grin i never, ever run into these women, i am sometimes a little disappointed by this fact, tbh.

SiamoFottuti · 31/07/2011 13:23

I can carry my almost 2 year old around in a decent sling, and I'm as weak as a kitten. If it hurts with babies (no matter how large) you have the wrong sling or the wrong tie.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 31/07/2011 13:29

I have tried and tried. I am rubbish Sad

Too late now and I am buggered if I am going to carry my 15mth old around. He is almost bigger than me

I have a great big old silver cross and he sit in that with the dog. I turned it around to face away a few weeks ago but I missed him so he is stuck facing me until he is big enough to get out and switch the seat around again Grin

misdee · 31/07/2011 13:30

i havent read a book on parenting in years.

i have few house rules, mainly around respecting each other. my children are well mannered, and lovely.

i have carried my last 3 children (i have 5 children) in slings. my 4th daughter is almost 3 and i still carry her. if its a case of leaving the buggy at home and carrying the toddler and baby i will do for ease of use.

i respond to my chidlrens needs, i dont follow a set of rules.

i may seem odd to others, and i do feel like i have to defend the way i do things a lot to other people i meet, expecially when it comes to co-sleeping, carrying them, and being the mum i want to be.

my older 3 do gymnastics, and yes we do talk about it, but only in passing. it doesnt rule their lives but its as big part of who dd1 is and she is really good at it.

youarekidding · 31/07/2011 13:30

I'm too sarcastic. If some random woman/ man told me I wasn't in tune with my baby Id probably reply something like 'why, have you heard us sing?'. The gap of confusion by the other person gives me time for a hasty exit.

misdee · 31/07/2011 13:35

when it comes to carrying a reluctant toddler home its a choice of this or this

i can tell you which one is easier....

thefirstMrsDeVere · 31/07/2011 13:43

But where do you put your shopping?

I will be one of those mad old ladies pushing a buggy around long after the kids have gone. You can get so much underneath a silver cross Grin

I want to be clear. I dont hate slings because they are bad. I just hate them because I have never got along with them and am a bit jealous.

misdee · 31/07/2011 13:44

i have an old lady shopping trolly. it holds more than the buggy

Thumbwitch · 31/07/2011 13:58

oo look, PA Smiles have gone up to PA Grins now!

Thumbwitch · 31/07/2011 13:59
misdee · 31/07/2011 14:06

exoticfruits Sun 31-Jul-11 11:12:13
Why would you even join a sling group? Join a mother and baby group-does it matter if a couple turn up with prams? It is merely a way of transporting a baby that suits you-nothing more and nothing less

exotic i run herts sling meet. its not exclusive for parents who just use slings and not buggies at all. its where a group of parents (we have dads as well) come along and help others find a carrier thats comfortable (we all bring our own and all try on others as well), get help with different carries and ways of tying. for instance there is one back carry i cannot get to grips with. its one thats meant to be excellant for toddlers (its called the double hammock carry if you want to know), but i cannot get how to do it and end up in a mess. however i do do a great rucksack carry and can give pointers on that.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/07/2011 14:14

Why would anyone carry a two year old in a sling - can't they walk?

Why would anyone co-sleep and relegate the DH to the spare room or the floor. No wonder marriages break up on here!

misdee · 31/07/2011 14:17

err dh co-sleeps with us.

2yr old dd4 cant walk 6miles a day

thefirstMrsDeVere · 31/07/2011 14:18

My buggy definately carries more than my shopping trolley. Thats why I have a big boingy silver cross.

Those strollers are rubbish.

SiamoFottuti · 31/07/2011 14:19

co-sleeping doesn't have to relegate anyone anywhere, and I don't know many 2 year olds that can walk four or five miles in a trip.

youarekidding · 31/07/2011 14:19

I have been reminded of when I went through a stage of carrying DS in a piggy back and rucksack on my front. It was at the stage we were both trying to get used to no pushchair as back up.

I then bought a few of the long sole handled canvas handbags. I can use one of these and still give DS a piggy back if he's tired. He's almost 7yo now.

misdee · 31/07/2011 14:28

my big old silvercross strunggles to fit through my front door. same for the double buggy.

AitchTwoOh · 31/07/2011 14:34

do people really think that co-sleeping means the partner gets ditched? how odd.

(i don't co sleep btw, although dd2 is in the habit of thumping through occasionally.)

SpareRoomSleeper · 31/07/2011 14:59

the words of change...

I am HUGELY proud of my DD's stunning good looks (unfortunately she doesnt get them from me), kind character, oscar winning smile and the fact that she was top of her Reception class for literacy and numeracy scores

Spare Room Sleeper, see upthread for gushing recitals of her parenting feats.

My DD is Super Brilliant x 1000 and I had her at 16 in a bus stop. Ok. You sound like a total bore

Because all I said was I am proud of my DD, and I hope my parenting has helped her to make her the wonderful child she is.

Confused

Change, you sound deeply insecure and troubled about something, and I hope you find the help that you need to get over it.

SpareRoomSleeper · 31/07/2011 15:01

The first bit I highlighted wasn't strange per se; it was just strange to come right before I was accused of my gushing recitals and made me Grin