DS is sat in his room and not allowed to play.

[youarekidding]

He also thinks I've cancelled the holiday after pretend phonecall whilst stategically stood outside his bedroom.

I am finding him really difficult atm, thing is though he really isn't a naughty child and if asked to stop doing something he will. He is also quite passive and accepting of things and doesn't argue when I say 'we're doing x and then y and z this way'.

However he is just NOT engaging brain, doesn't seem to be treating anything with repsect and drawing on any bit of paper, packaging he see's when he has a draw full of it that I've made available to him.

The other day he was drawing a map and picked up his Infant school leavers assembly programme and began crossing out names and adding others. I told him he doesn't draw on anything without asking and he had ruined the last thing he has from Infant School. He had earlier on in the day takjen his leavers book into after school club - he is told repeatedly everything stays in his bag on the peg, because there's lots of children aged 4-12yo with free reign and it keeps things safe. He took it in left it by a sink and another child has soaked it by accident and it is ruined.

So today my mum takes him out and buys him a new scooter for holiday. I take it from box and put together, go to toilet and come back to find him drawing all over the box. OK, so not a biggy as it will go in the bin but I thought after ruining something important by the same actions he would heed my advice.

He had also taken again to coming to yell through the toilet door about needing food/ drink everytime I go. This morning he woke at 5:50am. I told him it was too early, to go to bed and watch a DVD and I would come and get him at 7.30am. 6.55am he comes in, sees I'm asleep so pokes and calls me repeatedly until I wake up wanting to know if he can have a chocolate from the box a pupil bought me. He knows this would not be allowed. If he had asked aproppriate time he would of been allowed but as it is he isn't having 1 at all all day today - I have told him this and explained why.

He gets lots of positive praise, but recently nothing is ever enough and as a struggling LP who's saved hard for 5 days away I'm really very sad.

AIBU to simply get him accept the pleasures he has or get nothing?

Sorry ranting a bit but at least I'm not yelling at him.

You were selective about what you put in the original post.

My dd1 (5) nags me every second of the day. For anything for chocolate, to watch a DVD, to do this that or the other. She is a child. That's what they do.

Dd2 needs constant watching. They get up at 6.30 every morning. Dd2 doesn't go to sleep until 10pm.

To expect respect from a 7yo child you chose to bring into the world is a bit YABU. He's a child, and a young one, and if you keep moving the goal posts (you're usually up before him on a school day) what do you expect?

So he nagged you alot for some chocolate, give him a break, he'd been up for ages, and was probably bored that you weren't up doing loads of fantastic stuff with him.

When you think about "memories" consider that he is going to have a lasting memory of sitting in his room listening to his mother cancelling a holiday because he had drawn on a cardboard box that was about to be thrown away . In fact, he's going to remember that for years, probably decades, after he's forgotten almost everything else from this period of his life including the names of almost all his infant school classmates and teachers.

she's dyslexic Dogsby you insensitive caaaaah

I think people are saying do sweat the small stuff. What you've described is happening all over the place in many many homes with 7 yr olds+.

I might say no way matey choc at this hour is strictly in your dreams, and btw what time d'you call this??. And that'd be it really.

What will you do if he does something really naughty? It's true at 7 you don't always 'have an awareness of appropriateness or others needs' as you say. Yep, that's being 7. Blimey my 9 yr old dts often can't wait to ask me something and jump on me first thing when I'm still asleep. I seem to recall a similar convo about some chocolate Easter eggs they were hoping to eat for breakfast. I can't blame them for trying

Threatening to cancel a holiday would only be for something hugely hugely major in my book. And if I threatened it, I'd be prepared to carry it out. But tbh I can't imagine ever issuing that threat unless dc acted totally out of character and did something truly horrendous.

OP, I don't think the problem is that it failed once, I think it is that it failed once and you totally over reacted.

Telling a little boy his holiday is cancelled and even faking a phone call to prove it is just cruel. Adding to that, making him sit in his room alone and telling him he can't have any chocolate because he asked at a time that you didn't like is just crap.

As you said, he is normally very well behaved, so why punish so severely when he makes minor mistakes once?

OP....i feel you are in for a huge fall if you continue with such ridiculously high standards for a 6 year old.

you posted in AIBU. consensus is that you are, why keep arguing? you asked. you got an answer.

if you continue like this he may well rebel against your rules and strict regime, and when he does he will probably be older and slightly less eager to please. i think you need to give your child a break.

Mind you, I'm one of the people who used to pretend to my DN that we were going to call the police when he was naughty. :o Very effective.

Underneath the booket was an important form, if he had drawn on that it would have been a major problem.

But he didn't draw on it, and if he had you should be apportioning some blame to yourself for leaving an important document within easy reach of a child who loves to draw and appears to not always notice what he's doodling on.

Are you one of those people who are charm personified when they are interacting with friends and strangers, and an unreasonable twunt when interacting with their child/ren in the privacy of their own homes?

If you want your ds to respect you, recognise his needs and treat him with respect and consistency.

Yy

All he'll remember about his leaver's book is that you threatened to cancel his holiday because he got it wet

Have you thrown it away?

God almighty. Let him be a child. Stop expecting him to be a mini adult.

I find this really sad tbh.

Yy

All he'll remember about his leaver's book is that you threatened to cancel his holiday because he got it wet

Have you thrown it away?

MoreCrack You are totally right.
When I was little I got a poster that my Uncle had just been all over town trying to get wet. I got a smack for it. :(
I seeth everytime I think of that because I really didn't understand why he was upset because I was too young to really appreciate how important it was.

When you list the crimes, pretending to cancel a small boy's holiday stands out far more than any of the trivial stuff he did. How could you be so nasty for so little? You sound convinced of your own righteousness TBH.

youarekidding.....is your name ironic?

I thought it was a wind up at first.

what about getting a digital clock in his room - once it shows at least 7am, he can come and wake you up, but before this must entertain himself / grab a bowl of cereal etc?

I remember having a GIANT cardboard box when I was younger that I drew all over, got inside, drew all inside, filled it with cushions, cut little holes in etc...lasted about a year of play. Honestly couldn't tell you what toy came in it, but still remeber the box after 20 years. You say you dont want him to start drawing on walls etc now, but he hasn't actually drawn on walls...

As for your important papework, pop it all in a box with a lid on - out of sight out of mind. It's what I do with all my bills erm bits of paper.

Think in the main you've been a bit harsh with him, but obviously you think you have too, otherwise you wouldn't have started this tread.

Look I have accepted I was BU. I have not listed all the other things he has done, broken because it would take too long.

I have saved hard for this holiday missing out on end of term meals with collegues etc as I love my DS and want him to have the best. The car has failed its MOT today which is going to cost a lot, it may not be ready before we go away meaning we have to go by train. It also means that we will no more money for anything else this holiday or do the stuff we planned whilst away.

DS didn't get his breakfast, or the drink I made him at 5.50am. It was also the fact he has been told to ask before he draws on anything. He used a permanent marker which he got from my room and also got on the carpet. It was put away in my room before anyone says it shouldn't have been left out

Yes, he was sent to his room and told not to touch anything for 6 minutes, effectively a time out. I then calmly explained why I had done this, in simple terms the car was broken and if means some of the plans we had may change and that him constantly breaking things was unacceptable. I have told him simply I cannot afford replacements.

He actually will not climb on surfaces now to get food when I'm on the loo after he smashed 2 plates, 1 bowl, 2 cups - one of his favourites which did make him sad at the time and then cracked his chin open and needing stitches the last time. Instead he has gone back to 'yelling' through the door. Not simply asking. Ages ago I did a light hearted thread about children yelling through doors and was told iwnbu.

Like I said I accept I'm BU. After following all the advice from MN, it not working so me being harsher it turns out I'm wrong. DS is up again as I have decided that I need to let him have fun with no boundaries. He has eaten the rest of my chocolates so I may be on children's health later about vomiting.

And for those taking the piss out of my grammer mistakes fuck off. I am asking for advice as a parent and willing to change but I can't help being dyslexic and really it seems its the least of my problems.

Oh, and one more thing I forgot to add into the above, if he wasn't allowed to take his Leavers Book out of his bag at school, why didn't you just tell him not to take it in? Seems daft risking it getting damaged for nothing?

op i think you came back and took the answers well.

You sound tired, maybe it was the last straw, and i know how it is when you feel u do so so much and it feels like there's no reward.

I hope you have a lovely holiday. x

I consider myself a strict parent, stricter than most Mumsnetters I dare say but even I think you're being OTT here. My DS has just finished infants' school. He is a bit manic, an odd mix of boisterous and babyish and needs telling at least twice to do most things but fundamentally he is a loving, sweet natured boy who does know right from wrong. Nothing you have said about your DS makes me think he is any different. Please pick your battles and remember that he is still a young child. And enjoy your holiday.

So you want to cancel the holiday due to the car failing it's MOT neding expensive repairs - YANBU. But, YABU to make your son think you are cancelling the holiday as a direct result of his behaviour, which, in the main is not bad, and in fairness, not the whole reason behind you wanting to cancel it

I'm confused, and I am an adult, he must be baffled

He is a child.
You now sound like you are trying to justify over reacting.

He does not understand the value of money. Stop trying to involve him in an adult world of replacing things, the cost of the car, etc, that he does not understand.
If you didn't think you could afford the holiday then why did you book it?

You sound like you resent DS because of how shit your life is this week. It is NOT his fault.

youarekidding - its good that you can accept that you are being unreasonable in some of this, but how about just lowering your standards a bit instead of being uber strict one minute then letting him "have fun with no boundaries"? the next?

maybe he gets confused with the mixed messages? it sounds as though you realise you have gone over the top, then feel guilty about it.

you need to be more consistent, treat him like a 6 yr old, let him be a 6 year old and stop taking out your problems on him.

"Oh, and one more thing I forgot to add into the above, if he wasn't allowed to take his Leavers Book out of his bag at school, why didn't you just tell him not to take it in? Seems daft risking it getting damaged for nothing?"

He had been given the book at school to bring home as last day. He wouldn't take his back pack as teacher said they didn't need bags. DS very literal and point blank refused to take backpack even though I explained other mums/dads would be picking up their DC's and he needed somewhere to keep his belongings. He said he was bringing home a folder of work - it was huge.

Thats the thing he'll point blank refuse to do something logical because he's been told not too, but because I hadn't known about the book so specifically said do not take the book in but said the bag will keep things safe he took it in and didn't think to leave it in the folder.

When he takes a toy for golden time and I tell him to keep X in his bag, not to take x into club or x may get broken he'll do it.

Like I said he is a good boy.

As piratecat said. It was the last straw in a whole list of broken ruined things I can't see a way of replacing as I saved up every last sent for the holiday. My point with cancelling it with DS was I could replace the things he's recently ruined. Not to be mean but to show him its nice treats and treating things nicely or breaking things through lack or care and there being no money for fun treats/ holidays.

You do sound a bit all over the place to be honest, one minute he is sat in his room, holiday cancelled, no chocolate etc.

You have now got him out of bed (was he supposed to be sleeping) fun without boundaries, let him eat all the chocolates etc, etc.

Must be confusing for him.