DS is sat in his room and not allowed to play.

[youarekidding]

He also thinks I've cancelled the holiday after pretend phonecall whilst stategically stood outside his bedroom.

I am finding him really difficult atm, thing is though he really isn't a naughty child and if asked to stop doing something he will. He is also quite passive and accepting of things and doesn't argue when I say 'we're doing x and then y and z this way'.

However he is just NOT engaging brain, doesn't seem to be treating anything with repsect and drawing on any bit of paper, packaging he see's when he has a draw full of it that I've made available to him.

The other day he was drawing a map and picked up his Infant school leavers assembly programme and began crossing out names and adding others. I told him he doesn't draw on anything without asking and he had ruined the last thing he has from Infant School. He had earlier on in the day takjen his leavers book into after school club - he is told repeatedly everything stays in his bag on the peg, because there's lots of children aged 4-12yo with free reign and it keeps things safe. He took it in left it by a sink and another child has soaked it by accident and it is ruined.

So today my mum takes him out and buys him a new scooter for holiday. I take it from box and put together, go to toilet and come back to find him drawing all over the box. OK, so not a biggy as it will go in the bin but I thought after ruining something important by the same actions he would heed my advice.

He had also taken again to coming to yell through the toilet door about needing food/ drink everytime I go. This morning he woke at 5:50am. I told him it was too early, to go to bed and watch a DVD and I would come and get him at 7.30am. 6.55am he comes in, sees I'm asleep so pokes and calls me repeatedly until I wake up wanting to know if he can have a chocolate from the box a pupil bought me. He knows this would not be allowed. If he had asked aproppriate time he would of been allowed but as it is he isn't having 1 at all all day today - I have told him this and explained why.

He gets lots of positive praise, but recently nothing is ever enough and as a struggling LP who's saved hard for 5 days away I'm really very sad.

AIBU to simply get him accept the pleasures he has or get nothing?

Sorry ranting a bit but at least I'm not yelling at him.

I know I am a very strict parent indeed, and other people tell me too - but i think your behaviour is a bit odd. Nothing you have said is particularly naughty or unreasonable, but you are over-reacting and being unreasonable.

His man issue seems to be about drawing on things - if it is a problem warn him all writing equipment will be removed, and then carry through on that warning if necessary.

You can't punish him for waking early and being bored and hungry, that is really unfair. Set out food the night before or get up for him.

What is the point of pretending to cancel the holiday - you are just going to have to go back on that now.

My policy is always to set a reasonable and relevent punishment, explain it and give one warning, and then always follow through on it.

His behaviour sounds pretty good to me. He is just doing what kids do.

I understand that its annoying to be woken by a child demanding food but that is what children do.

That is why selfish/unreasonable behaviour is often referred to as 'childish'

It is up to you to decide what you think is acceptable and I am all for boundaries but you do have to work out what you feel is really important.

NEVER say you are going to do something - cancel a holiday - if you have no intention of doing so.

Also if you are telling him that some annoying behaviour will result in the cancellation of a holiday - where on earth does that leave you to go when he does something really naughty? You will end up threatening him with hanging for not picking his dirty socks up if you continue at this rate.

I agree with Mofo - it was a box don't let him have access to pens and pencils if he absentmindedly draws, keep them on a shelf and only at the table.

I can't stand it when people threaten things like cancelling holidays that they have no intention of seeing through.

As for the early waking , I can understand 'back to bed to 7am' but 7.30 is positively a lie in and you are really pushing it imo. Apart from anything else ds is usually ravenous by 7 and really needs his breakfast and he is 10!

The chocolate thing is bonkers - he was telling you he was hungry and needed breakfast!

From what you have posted OP, that is nothing that a normal 6/7 year old would do and in this house wouldn't be considered naughty behaviour - it sounds like you have very high expectations.

YABU poor kid.

He sounds fairly well behaved if those are his biggest crimes!
5:50. Isn't that early for a young child in summer when the mornings are light. He needs breakfast in the morning when he wakes or at least a snack to get him through until whatever time breakfast is.
Drawing on a box that's half the fun - mine make all kinds of things ou of boxes didn't you do this as a kid?

I think your being really hard on him!

Aw, i feel for you, but it doesn't sound too dire, just some things that you need to sit down with him to discuss.
He does sound a little bored, but i know from experience that it's tricky to fit play dates/ trips to the park when you're a LP and working, so don't beat yourself up over it.
Sims is right, if you don't want him to draw on things, put them away safely!
My 4yo DS knows you NEVER interrupt mummy when she's in the bathroom unless it's a real emergency. It gets right on my nerves and i think he can live without me for two minutes! Just explain to him that it's not very fair on you and wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway, so he might as well just wait until you come out.
As for the waking up early thing. Is he allowed to help himself to breakfast? We leave a bowl of cereal out and a little jug of milk in the fridge so he can help himself. If he's still hungry, then he can have fruit or yoghurt. Best thing we ever did. We now get an extra 45 mins in bed!
Just be firm. If he's doing something you disagree with then calmly and politely tell him what he's doing wrong and why. But really, it sounds like you're doing a good job :)

Bloody hell, poor sod!

He sounds like any other kid! pretending you've cancelled the holiday is just plain nasty! considering he didn't do anything to warrent it!

Let the poor little bugger out!

He's little and he hasn't done anything really wrong. He must be wondering how to get things right for his mum TBH.

cant quite see what the poor kid has done wrong to deserve to be shut in his room.

how old is he?

my middle two are 6 and 9, they wake early in the morning and they know that they can then lay and read/play quietly until 7ish and then go downstairs and help themselves to bfast ( i leave the bowls and cereal out for them so they just have to get the milk out) i am generally getting up at this point if not before anyway as baby needs to be up and fed.

drawing on a box,ummm isnt that what they are for? mine love to draw on old packaging etc, i dont see that as a problem?

he ASKED for the chocolate, he could have just taken it whilst you were sleeping so thats pretty good tbh, he WAS probably hungry!

i think you are being overly harsh tbh.

i get the loosing coats, bags etc its irritating as hell, ihave had to search lost property numerous times this year, but i label everything and if they do loose stuff that is theirs and was important to them well they will learn from it, but absent mindedness etc totally normal in a school age child.

he sounds like a normal child! and i get that its hard being on your own and you are tired, so get him a clock, tell him he can get up at 7am or 6:30 and go and get bfast and sit and play quietly till you get up, but the rest sounds normal to me!

Sorry but another one thinking yabu, perhaps on the waking thing you could leave a beaker of milk for him in the fridge if you are worried he is going to spill and he is hungry. Waking up early - he did a really good job of staying away for an hour, that should be applauded! Or you should have just let him snuggle with you quietly at that time.

I am a great believer in praising for drawing, it is a skill that should be encouraged, why not say to him that it is a lovely drawing but he really should draw on the appropriate paper so you can keep it and not on something precious, as for drawing on a box you were going to throw out anyway why didn't you do something fun with it like turn it into a car/tractor/train/dinosaur? Thereby encouraging his creativity and imagination.

Don't all children want something when you go to the toilet? Isn't that normal?

I think YABU too. As far as I can see he didn't really do anything wrong. It's light so he woke early, that's what kids do. He went back to bed for an hour and then was hungry so asked for chocolate.He had already waited an hour from being awake and probably thought a chocolate would save you getting up to make breakfast.
His leavers stuff was his, if he didn't feel it was precious then he could do what he chose with it. If you thought it precious you should have kept it safe.
Drawing on the box I find bizarre that you consider this out of order and asking for stuff when you are in the toilet well surely telling him to give you a minute is all that's needed.
Sending him to his room, forbidding him to play, not allowing him chocolate and pretending to cancel his holiday for next to nothing is way over the top.
Go and say sorry, give him a hug and take him and his scooter to the park the sunshine and fresh air will do you as much good as it will him I'm sure.

I'm sorry but what's he done wrong? Scribbled on some rubbish and drawn on (his own) leavers day programme. He wanted to look at (his own) leavers book and it got wet .
he asked you for a chocolate?

Please tell me you are NOT a teacher because your judgment is way off the mark.

And what are you going to say if he tells you that he knows it wasn't a real phone call?

I'm another one who thinks YABU. The infant Leander assembly programme was his and the scooter box was rubbish. He drew on them not the wall. Also he did stay in his room for an hour before asking you for a Chocolate. I presume he's 7 so should be able to go downstairs and pour himself a drink and some cereal. If he can't do this you should teach him. You are being OTT and punishing him for things that are not really bad. What will you do if he does do something bad? .

You are being way way too harsh and absolutely unreasonable! What's more you are shooting yourself in the foot pretending to cancel a holiday.. because he drew on a box, was careless with a school programme and got up early?

Surely you can see how utterly ridiculous that is?!?!!? Maybe you are stressed and on wind down ..but so are a lot of us who teach/work with children. My kids ate my nearly all of my 'thanks' chocolate (Thorntons as well as the quality street ...humph) from school and while I did grump at them , I certainly didn't feel the need to shut them in their rooms! Any child who has been up and awake for a while will be hungry..

Give him an old roll of wall paper, or some cardboard boxes that he IS allowed to draw on, and relax...

Poor kid :(

So OP basically what you're saying is, you are punishing him for being a child and for doing stuff that children do? What a meanie you are.

Actually I'd like to thank you, I have a loathing for a particular song at the moment that dd (3) is obsessed with, instead of turning it off I turned it up and danced with her, so get up at 5.50am and eat chocolate at 6.05 then go back to bed without brushing your teeth and scribble on something not so important. You might get your fun back then.

Sorry been out all afternoon.

Just to clarify a few things.

He knows not to draw on anything other than paper without asking, he has never drawn on walls or anything else as a toddler and so I do not expect him to start doing it at nearly 7.

He can and does make his own breakfast in the morning. I leave a bowl and the cereal out the night before and he has access to the fruit bowl. On a school day he goes to bed at 8/8.30ish and is up at 7/7.30ish. Last night he went to bed at 9.30 and yes getting up that early was what he did but he did not need to wake me up - was the way it was done not the fact he did it btw - for a bleeding milk tray chocolate which he knows he won't get before breakfast anyway.

He is not bored we have been out for 4 hours this afternoon on his scooter, at the park and meeting friends which he would have enjoyed more if he wasn't so tired.

After I had sent this post DS came to me an apologised saying he knows he shouldn't have done it and that he is sad he no longer has his leavers book and play programme and from now on he will take care of things.

I have praised him for his behaviour this afternoon and told him the holiday is back on but there is no chocolate allowed instead as all the bad manners and disrespect stems from him wanting chocolate. I have instead sid he will have a snack box with 1 cake, some cereal bars and a bag of crisps in that he can have each day. Also he can help himself to fruit. He is not hungry as he has a very balanced diet and is allowed healthy and unhealthy snacks.

I take it I am BU though and should allow DS to have no manners, draw on whatever he wants and destroy memories.

Oh and I agree as I sad above he is well behaved. He just doesn't have an awareness of appropriateness or others needs. It does at times get me down.

The things I said above are examples not an extensive list!

I know he is starting to push the boundaries and excert his independenace but surely that shouldn't be at the loss of a happy household.

Just to clarify, did you mean sat? Or did you mean sitting?

God knows Perry I'm dyslexic and what makes sense to me doesn't to most of the population I'm probably wrong though or you wouldn't have oh so helpfully pointed it out

How can he possibly be destroying memories? Don't you know that the only memories worth having are those we treasure in our hearts?

If you continue to take such an authoritarian line with your little boy, the chances are that you'll find that the 'disrespect' you're presently complaining about will seem like the height of good manners when he's older.