To chuffing LOVE that on certain threads people always say stuff like

[Dogsby]

" what starter shall i have" - anti pasto

and any sodding thread on madeleine maccann some sour mouthed tosser puts " ooh no one calls her maddie in hter family" like it really MATTERS fgs.

what predicatable posts make you nuts?

women ringing around hospitals and with their knickers in a twist because their other halves haven't responded to their 27th text and 14th phone call....he's switched his phone off to escape YOU darling.

'I can't leave my child to go to sleep at night but I would never try controlled crying - it's child abuse'

"Dd/ds has been waking me up 3 x a night for 2 years and I am going insane please please please help me"

"You need to do controlled crying"

"Oh no, I couldn't ever let him/her cry even for a minute"

"I left my abusive ex, but still want him to have contact with the DC, what should I do?"

You should move in next door so that he can pick and choose when he sees them, you left so it is your fault they are apart.

When someone posts in G&T about a clearly exceptional child - you know reciting Shakespeare at 18 months and people 'say oh thats nothing special - my child did that too and it all evens out' - yeah right!

Oh yes, I had no idea toilet brushes could be controversial. No idea.

Any mention of facebook, ever.

"Facebook is the tool of the devil, more toxic than asbestos, and caused the fall of the Roman Empire. If you stopped using it, you would have no problems."

No, I think I will continue to use it, and its privacy settings to keep in touch with friends and family actually. Cheers.

Fussy eating thread 'oh mine eat everything but we're real foodies and I make them try everything' [smug]

Oh yes Facebook. Obviously if your husband has a Facebook account he is, of course, shagging every single female from his dim and not so distant past, especially Sharon in accounts. Its all Facebooks fault.

When someone writes a ridiculously long OP full of text speak/no paragraphs/awful spelling/being rude

then when brought up on it say "Well actually I suffer from dyslexia etc etc" (Will of course be perfectly spelt).....

Heheh- MrsCB- I used to be a little like that until I had DC2 in my defence DC1 does eat everything...

"My DH said a bad word/ tickled me uninivited/ looked at me askance/ took the last biscuit/ patted my arse in passing"

He's a Bastard - that is mental/physical/emotional/sexual ABUSE. Leave him immediately,if not sooner!

My favourite though, is people getting self righteous about other people getting annoyed about/or spending time on MN
"Don't you have anything better to do with your life? Why are you spending time on MN" (from person permanently on MN).
Even better when it's one of the MENZ getting all upset about women talking about women stuff on the women's bit of the internet.

Thread about children's rooms

"It's illegal for boys and girls older than ten to share a room!"

Top thread. Ticked every box for me! Ta muchly.

'AIBU....I'm 8 months pregnant....'
JUST STOP RIGHT THERE. Yes, you ARE being unreasonable. We've all been there.

"next time I shall do it the easy way and adopt"
Good luck with that then...

'It makes me sick that because these people are getting drug rehab/wheelchairs/DLA/subsidised swimming lessons little kiddies are dying from cancer because the governement wont let them have chemotherapy'

'having a baby is a family event' is it bollox

'just wait until your son gets married' Yes but I won't be inviting myself into the delivery room/booking my visit for the due date

'Why not just adopt' - like you did?

'having a baby is a lifestyle choice'

'I have a friend who booked a holiday/arranged to have a kitchen fitted/went to the moon and she got pregnant as soon as she stopped trying/relaxed'

Yes kew, or "You can always adopt".

Always, anytime, just that easy.

Any thread where someone pops up with

"poor you. Run a nice bath, light some candles, pour a glass of wine"

Perfectly good advice, I've probably said it myself, but just reading it makes my eyeballs boil.

I'm sick to death of finding cat poo in my garden.

Response= "you should get your own cat"

No, you should get your own LION poo from the zoo. Apparently it works