To chuffing LOVE that on certain threads people always say stuff like

[Dogsby]

" what starter shall i have" - anti pasto

and any sodding thread on madeleine maccann some sour mouthed tosser puts " ooh no one calls her maddie in hter family" like it really MATTERS fgs.

what predicatable posts make you nuts?

Oh yes, LadyBeagleEyes...and so what if you're pregnant, you can still walk 50 miles in six foot snowdrifts - pregnancy isn't an illness you know!

Loving the T-shirts

Correcting peoples spelling or grammar .
Why do it? This isn't m n comprehensive school! It is also rude to point out a persons mistake on a very public forum and there are a million reasons as to why their might be mistakes in the post , but I just don't get why some people care so much.

mrswhiskerson don't you know that that don't teach spelling and grammar at comprehensive schools or anything much for that matter?

It's all gone horribly downhill since my day. I blame it on the lunacy of encouraging common children to believe that they can actually learn to read and add up when we all know that they will be confused by book-learning and lead pointless lives of debt and bitter disappointment.

Britain didn't used to need literate and numerate people in vast numbers and still doesn't. If they taught history properly in schools more people would understand that.

What we need is plumbers. You can't get a good plumber for love nor money round my way. Even those ones who can't measure a length of pipe.

But not my children, obviously. They are destined for Oxbridge.

'that that don't teach spelling and grammar at comprehensive schools'

I obviously meant they.

They didn't teach me nothing neither. I'm very ignorant. But it's never held me back.

limitedperiodonly - Hie thee back to the Daily Mail! Yes, it's not ineqaulity or the school's fault that kids do badly, the really clever ones will rise to the top anyway! It's because the lower classes are LAZY.

On a related matter, anyone who says on any thread ANYWHERE on t'interweb - that the world was better when people lived off the land/pre-1960s.

No it wasn't. It really, REALLY wasn't, you pillock.

Ladies were much trimmer when we had rationing and you had to wash terry nappies with a tin bath and a mangle.

You only have to look at the ladies in Mad Men to know that and they didn't even have rationing in America.

No it wasn't. It really, REALLY wasn't, you pillock

Makes you wish you had a Tardis so you could send them on an enforced holiday to the idyllic times, and not let them back until they ate their words.

on seeing someone misuse disabled parking spaces

MN "How do you know they weren't disabled?"
OP "Because he sprinted across the car park and returned 5 minutes later single handedly carrying a sofa which he then strapped onto the roof of his 4x4"
MN "Just because someone doesn't look disabled doesn't necessarily mean they aren't you judgemental bitch, what right to you have to ..... " etc etc

Walking to school (favourite of mine)

So what if school is 23 miles each way and you have a 7 children and 1 leg?

"I think you and your dc lazy. Mine walk 45 miles on unlit country roads to school each way every day, including the 1 year old, it doesn't matter that we don't get home until its 10pm and dark, at least we aren't fat and lazy and killing the planet"

Quick get the univeristy fees up some of the comprehensive commoners are getting in don't they have cars to weld? (rolls eyes dons hard hat and passes popcorn whilst handing out first

Someone once actually said all comprehensive educated children were good for was beauty therapy or being a car mechanic like all these professions require is the ability to grunt your name.

All the threads where someone says 'It's "their" not "there" ', and then everyone goes mental about the wrong thing.

Can I add 'bum crumbs' - what are they? They usually come up in threads about beds etc. And 'shoes covered in dog shit' on the interminable 'shoes or no shoes in the house' threads. I have never ever had shoes covered in dog shit in my house or that of anyone else I know. It must be about time for a shoes or no shoes thread - anyone willing to start one?

People who say 'Meh..' followed by a snide, unpleasant comment

'they haven't got special needs, they're just naughty and their parents are shit'

single humphy face.no explanation or accompanying comment

Ellie, agree with the walkimg to school threads. All written by the yummy mummies of isllington who have 3excellent schools, a nursery, doctors, dentists,library, delis and coffee shop all within 500 yards of their front door

Besides nanny does must of the drop offs most days anyway

Shoes off indoors threads.

AIBU to think that if you don't take your shoes off and pad around in your filthy sweaty feet which are dirtier than your shoes then you are a scummer.

YABU, I am aristocracy and we never take our 24 carat gold shoes off so its obviously a class thing.

Aristo, YABU because you have a staff of at least 20 people scubbing your floors all the time you posh git.

YANBU I lived in Japan and everyone took their shoes off there and made sure their socks didn't have holes.

60 people will pipe up saying "why don't you go to Dunelm Mill and buy a pair of slippers in every size x 2 and have a bucket of about 20 pairs of slippers at your front door, then there's no excuse and everyone's happy"

Um, no they are not, because that will look worse than a dirty floor which you can't see anyway and everyone looks like my nanna in slippers even if they are Kate Moss.

YABU you must value your floors more than your friends.

YANBU your friend's value their dignity more than your floors, they are shit friends.

Etc.

Ooh, has this one been done yet? A thread about a possible case of child abuse, and somebody always, always pops up and says, "But I let my child play in the street/sleep on a mattress on the floor/eat takeaways sometimes etc [taking the issue entirely out of context] does that mean social services will take them away?" and then spends the rest of the thread fretting on about the appalling intrusion into her civil liberties about to happen TO HER, while other posters are reassuring her and attention is diverted from the real, suffering children who are the point of the thread.

any thread berating SW always has a daily mail link
as if dm is irrefutable proof and oracle of what is what

This is my bugbear

"I love my children so much I couldn't bear to leave them with a total stranger. Those of you who choose to work are bitches with a heart of stone. Obviously, in this criticism I'm excluding those of you who have to work for financial reasons. I still think you should feel guilty for abandoning your children, but I won't judge you for it, you poor lass."

yes,the you can work if have to.compelled to.be destitute if not working
but condemnation upon a woman working by choice

I'm sure this has been said ... But there's 25 pages to read through and I'm only on number 4.

I HATE the 'could I be pregnant' threads

Get your arse down the shop and BUY A BLOODY TEST you IDIOT!