To chuffing LOVE that on certain threads people always say stuff like

[Dogsby]

" what starter shall i have" - anti pasto

and any sodding thread on madeleine maccann some sour mouthed tosser puts " ooh no one calls her maddie in hter family" like it really MATTERS fgs.

what predicatable posts make you nuts?

well you are all being soooooooo passive aggressive
and why doesnt everyone's OH have to be a high flyer/high pressure job/top of his profession

why is no one just a window cleaner for tesco (disclaimer: no offence to window cleaners blah blah blah yawn)

Anyone who talks sex. Ew.
Or I still fancy my h. Yep right.
Felatio ace post

The ones in relationships were the H is automatically "NPD!!!!"

The ones that are an excuse for posters to trumpet about how many degrees they've got and from which bloody fucking russell group institution....yawn.

Npd?

Lady of the manor: speaks.

diagnosis murder school of medicine
npd,any unsavoury trait

"I can't drive, won't walk, don't own a bike, the bus driver hates me and the trains smell funny. AIBU to think the council should pay for a taxi to get me to my nail extensions appointment?"

somebody posts a rightmove link to a tiny but exquisitely remodeled north london terrace

cue instant division between SE mnetters and the rest...

"ooh I just larve the parquet floors, converting the shed into a nursery is such a clever use of space wonder who their architect is....."

vs.

"whaaaat don't you you could buy a manor in Grimsby for less than that"

"We are doing BLW DD is just having her spaghetti bolognaise as we speak".

Silly person: AIBU to ask even though it is July (tee hee)

Mumsnetter: Yabu, it is July you fucking freak.

Other silly persons: Fuck off Mumsnetter if you don't want to talk about Christmas in July, don't click on the thread.

Mumsnetter: there is a Christmas topic for a reason, saddo.

Other silly persons: fuck off!

Any thread where a poster gives a personal experience when discussing a knowledge-specifc OP.

Some bastard: "the plural of anecdote is not data" as if it's utterly profound, not startlingly obvious, and the first time ever quoted.

Ah bibbity was it that one which got pulled?

manshape,no idea what it is.brand condom.tightfit jonnies

Oh no. Just found the one I was thinking of.

On any contentious parenting issue thread:

OP - if you do this your child will turn green and spontaneously combust and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.

Random poster - I find that very offensive. Not everyone has a choice you know.

OP - oh, I didn't mean yooooou. Only the irresponsible fuck wits who CHOOSE for their child to turn green and spontaneously combust.

Random poster - ok, so my child won't combust then?

OP - no, they will still combust but you will feel ok about it because you had no choice. HTH.

Btw does anyone actually eat anti pasto anymore? Its like, so, 1998

'We are child haters in Britain! The bus driver didn't play with my adorable baby'.
'I know OP, oh the waiters in Spain fall in love with my baby' (no, you moron they were aftering a tip, the bus driver in britain is not child hater but he doesn't make a living from tips)

'It is my brother's wedding/my parents anniversary/my best friend's birthday but i 'm not up to it. It is 3 minutes driving, i'm going to die from tiredness'
Don't go, fuck them! Why should you make such a sacrifice for them?

and there is always a wanker who comes on to a jokey thread to make snidey posts about sn,

Anybody who says "Mumsnet at its worst". Or best, come to that.

I made someone lol? I feel like cod God!

? @ 2shoes

and there is always a wanker who comes on to a jokey thread to make snidey posts about sn,

To be fair, this thread has had a go at just about every scared cow going, and then some.

Its now so hard to read any other thread with a straight face :)

We should number these, so we can say "Ah Yes, that's a Vintage Type 43 thread" and "hmmm...a poor Type 76, but with a cheeky aftertaste" :o

why the dig at me?
i was just posting in the same way as all the other posts.

Op-my dh yelled at me, kicked the dog, cursed my son, won't do dishes, doesn't have a job. He is a bastard. Should we separate?

Reply-he kicked the dog? Leave him.

Op-well it was an accident. He didn't mean to.

Reply-I wouldn't allow my dp to curse my son...

Op-I know, but he usually is a great father.

Reply-don't put up with him yelling at you

Op- He was just in a bad mood, he doesn't always yell.

Reply- If he does not work he should contribute by doing dishes or something.

Op- He has a disability. He can't work. You are all bullies, my life might not be perfect but I am going to stand by my man. No wonder the divorce rate is so high!