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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

for being so pissed off??

176 replies

clueless1 · 26/07/2011 20:57

had a 'mates' kids today, 3 of them age 4,6 and 9. she had to work and her childminder called to say she was ill.and cant have them the rest of this week. i said i could have them for the rest of the week but only until 3.15 at the latest today. as my 5 yr old had an appointment with the hospital at 4.10 and i need to get me and the 3 kid to the hospital. all fine she says, she will be here before 3.15.
3.15 comes and goes, as does 3.20. at 3.25 i get a text off of her, she cant leave work as she has had to fit in another meeting.
WTF???????????????
i call and according to her receptionist she is unavailable to take calls.
her mobile is off and i dont have her busbands number.
so i have to take my 3 plus her 3 to a bloody hospital appointment.
her 3 behaved terribly and the poor consultant was a little bit more than shocked looking.
i got home at gone 5.30 to find her on my door step. she then moaned that my phone had been off,( turned off in the hospital, forgot to turn it on with 6 kids to walk home) and she had been at mine since 5.
i was fuming.
she then had the cheek to ask if tomorrow when i look after hers can i make sure they can go to their swimming lesson??? HELL NO.
now i am fuming,( been stewing over this all evening)
would i be totally unreasonable to tell her im not having them the rest of the week?? cause i have a horrible feeling that after today it is just gonna get worse!

OP posts:
Flowerista · 26/07/2011 21:21

In awe of clueless, pulls up chair and Wine to hear text response.

joric · 26/07/2011 21:24

Same as flowerista... YADNBU OP :(

TheOldestCat · 26/07/2011 21:24

Well done, clueless1. Will you let us know what she says in response?

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 21:26

YANBU.

I am babysitting friends 2 DD's with my DS Friday evening and she is returning favour Saturday as we both have parties to attend.
Friday evening our DC's swim. They are in same club but different times/levels. They swim 6.30,7 and 7.30pm. I am happy to take them although will be PITA getting 1 in 1 out at 7 and 7.30pm. Friend has actually said her DD's can miss it as too much to expect me to do it and can watch my DS as she wouldn't expect him to miss it. On choice DC's have chosen DVD and popcorn instead. Grin.

Point is this is my closest friend and she has the respect not to expect too much - this mum is taking the piss.

Btw both my friend and I are working mums but we ensure helping out doesn't inconvenience each other or the others DC.

I think your friend should have left work early and offered to have your other 2 for a bit whilst you went to hospital. Its a two way street.

Dippy001 · 26/07/2011 21:26

As a so-called working mum...good on you for having the balls to tell her where to go!

ImperialBlether · 26/07/2011 21:30

Good for you! I don't think she had any intention of being back on time.

Her poor kids - imagine having a mum like that.

Xales · 26/07/2011 21:32

I think you should have told her the truth.

She will happily come back oblivious to the real reason saying well if you really can't do swimming (to try and make you feel guilty) then don't worry and just have them.

Then you will either have to say no and why or agree Sad

bestmate · 26/07/2011 21:37

dh does this to me as I am sahm, he doesnt think to tell me that he has occasionally ran late, or has a last minute meeting thrown on him, or as he is leaving the office someone rings and he agrees to stay to cover, as he knows I am at home, which is probably what she was doing to you?

its wrong and it causes huge arguements in our marriage. She abused your genorosity, good for you, and i love the poster who replied ' i love a girl with balls'; please let us know what she replies.

CoffeeIsMyFriend · 26/07/2011 21:40

she wont reply to your text message, she will feign ignorance and turn up on your doorstep tomorrow morning. I guarantee it.

She totally took the piss today and you need to let her know. This happened to me a few weeks ago, not exactly but similar. I told my friend not to take the piss, didnt mind collecting child from school but couldnt keep her longer than an hour as I had friends coming round etc, lo and behold the mum turned up an hour later and all was ok. If I hadnt said that I would have had all the children until about 7pm!

Sometimes you just have to say no, I find this hard to do but I am getting better at it.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 26/07/2011 21:44

OMG Coffee - I hadn't even thought of that Shock

OP - please try her landline again. I'd hate for this to happen in the morning.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 26/07/2011 21:45

I agree with you, Coffee. If the OP doesn't actually speak to her, she will just show up.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 26/07/2011 21:46

Oh, and if she pulls the manipulative "You're letting me down" crap, point out that she let you down by not picking the children up at the agreed time, even though she knew you needed her to do it and why.

bestmate · 26/07/2011 21:48

OMG you had best get up at 5am and take the kids and go sit in the car round the corner!!

Happygomummy · 26/07/2011 21:49

you absolutely did the right thing.

absolutely disgraceful behavior from her

well done

but Coffee makes a good point

will await an update with baited breath!

(or could you have a back-up plan and be out at the time she may possibly turn up tomorrow??)

zipzap · 26/07/2011 21:52

Ooh yes, what are you going to say if she just turns up and pretends not to have seen your text?

Or are you just going to go out early in the morning just before she arrives and leave her to discover your text when she rings up wanting to know where the hell you are?!? :o

Lou222 · 26/07/2011 21:54

OP, has she replied yet?
Please hurry I need to go to bed but I need to know what her reply was.

Whatmeworry · 26/07/2011 21:54

"she wont reply to your text message, she will feign ignorance and turn up on your doorstep tomorrow morning. I guarantee it."

Absolutely guaranteed.....

gapants · 26/07/2011 21:57

call her now, do ring back!!

CadleCrap · 26/07/2011 21:57

Marking my place for an update

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 26/07/2011 21:59

OP - have you got through to her yet?

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 22:02

Oh coffee You are right.

And if she pulled the 'your letting me down line' I would say 'no I'm not, I did you a favour, now I'm not as you let ME down'.

Lou222 · 26/07/2011 22:03

I'm going, I probably won't sleep though !
I fear the Op may have anticipated her next move and booked into a hotel already!
Oh and just curious, but is she a good friend, will you be upset if she is no longer your friend?

Happygomummy · 26/07/2011 22:03

is anyone else looking for another thread entitled

"selfish cow just cancelled on me and i have no-one else gullible enough to look after my kids"??

oh how i'd laugh....

(ps - you are not a selfish cow, but suspect she may be thinking along these lines if she is as socially thick as she appears to be)

puglet123 · 26/07/2011 22:07

Also marking my place for an update. Wine

HairyJo · 26/07/2011 22:07

did she reply. I'm guessing she'll turn up anyway