To wonder what constitutes being posh?

[BumWiper]

Because having an au pair seems to be considered posh.I have one out of need,not out of choice.
DC2 has SN and health problems which could very well mean a midnight ambulance trip (already once this week and its only Tuesday),so by having an AP it means precious time is not wasted in getting a babysitter,as DH travels a lot.Also there are many appointments,so it means I can go and not have the other children distracting me or annoying anyone.

But no,to others I have an AP because I'm posh.

More of a rant than AIBU.

Blimey, I should have said 'snobbier' - sickened with myself.

Oooh you're good! If I meet someone like that I tend to mutter "twat" under my breath!

Swift change from post to snob.

I'm still not posh, but I can silently be a huge snob.

I actually didn't say it to her face. Can't as we are now 'colleagues' in the PTA scrum. I did say: "Well DONE!" very loudly and sarcastically to her in front of the head though. Blame it on the wine.

Lynette I didn't mean to hijack.

This woman does think she's posh though. Has a DS - same class as my DD and they play together at school. says to me after the fete: "If your daughter wants to marry into the BRITISH ARISTOCRACY she'll have to pay a dowry."

"Who did you have in mind?" I said, wide eyed.

I am making it sound like she goes around taking recreational drugs and saying mad things at school events. She does this all sober.

"BumWiper," your name and this thread suggest that you're very determined not to be considered remotely refined. Why is that?

OP in your case an AP would be ideal imo. Don't worry about people's comments.

To those who keep mentioning the food, we provide food too (those who have nannies) plus full wages plus tax.

"Who did you have in mind?" I said, wide eyed.

Oh Harriet you are funny! I also do an inward eye roll when people go on about all of the things they have/expensive holidays/amazing cars/how many bedrooms, etc. It seems to come from no where and I'm never quite sure what response is required. "Oh, that sounds nice" or "aren't you lucky" is usually what I say but even then they go on "oh it's nothing to do with luck XX got a raise/bonus/sucked cock at work so we're just enjoying it, you know!". God, what bores! My baby will also be dressed in Boden (a la eBay)

Having an au pair may be considered posh by some people but for many people they would be considered just a cheap alternative to a proper nanny.

Useful though if they can help look after the ponies and dogs though in addition to assisting with the children.

with three under 5s I looked at an au pair simply because it was actually cheaper than sending three to nursery! Doesn't make you posh! Also if no family close by can see the need to have supportive childcare on hand.

We looked into getting an aupair but dp works part time instead and I am about as far from posh as you can get.

I don't think posh is about what you do but more your attitude and background. I could do lots of "posh" things but would remain as common as muck.

We had a series of au pairs after my mother and stepfather split up. My little sister and I moved into a room together and the au pairs used hers. It just helped my mum stay in work and have some help - to be honest it always seemed like a cheaper way of doing this than many forms of childcare and of course there was the assistance in the house. We loved learning the native language of the au pair and it was like having an aunt or big sister.

The only problem with it was that my sister broke my entire collection of glass animals from our bunk bed. Even the peacock, that was my favourite. But, 25 years on, I'm not bitter.

Having an aupair or live-in nanny I feel means you have the space and you don't mind the loss of privacy of having someone stay at your home for a long period. Also means you have the money needed to pay them but if you have several children it could be cheaper than using nurseries and holiday clubs.

Dawnybabe - FAB!

Orbinator- Tool Academy. Give it a whirl (did u see my earlier post to you below?!)

You could try "Well, DONE!" too. Perhaps combined with a very very hard back slap.

Thanks, yes I did see your post. Tried 4Od but no joy there. May actually have to turn on the telly

I think perhaps "Whatto!" would be a good back slapping companion. My accent does that well. Try to copy anyone from The Wire however and I get looks of scorn and giggles behind hands :(

Afford an Au Pair? £65 a week, cheapest childcare going.

Don't forget the hidden costs, posie. Not inconsiderable.

And in fact, if you only have one school age child, a childminder would cost less per week around my way.

"Whatto!" not sure I could carry that off as a Yank. Like it though.

posh - daft word. Financially sound enought to afford it I would say. Not a big fan of those with au pairs who use them as replacement parents (my sister lives in Dubai and I see this practice regularly). A friend of mine just took one on as she is getting divorced and was struggling to get things done. She can afford it, she needs help so she is paying for it. Nothing posh about that.

erm, its "What-ho", I think?

I'd have thought a nanny was "posher" than an au pair as they cost £80/week compared to £100/week (granted plus room and board) for an au pair.

What I've heard anyway, I use childless friends and my mum as my source of childcare