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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you should open the gift in front of the giver

93 replies

MrsKravitz · 25/07/2011 11:09

Wont see the birthday boy (dss17) until sunday and his birthday is tomorrow (going to his mother's tonight until sunday when he comes back to us). We have given him his gifts. He isnt going to open them until tomorrow.
AIBU in thinking he should open them now, with us?

OP posts:
SarahBumBarer · 25/07/2011 11:13

YABU _ as a general rule I would say that birthday gifts get opened on the actual birthday. Christmas gifts get opened on Christmas Day but I get that some step families do double up.

Most importantly - what does the birthday boy want to do?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/07/2011 11:13

YABU. That's not the point of gift-giving.

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 11:14

YABU at that age they don't get many presents so it makes sense for him to save them til his birthday.

MorelliOrRanger · 25/07/2011 11:15

YABU - we wait until DD's birthday to open her gifts.

Why is it important you see him open your gift?

Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/07/2011 11:15

Surely its nice for the giver to see the person opening their gift?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/07/2011 11:16

There is also a gift from his younger siblings, who would love to see him open theirs

OP posts:
MorelliOrRanger · 25/07/2011 11:16

Sorry read DSS's age wrong. I assume you've bought him something fantastic like a car and want to see his face? Grin

MorelliOrRanger · 25/07/2011 11:17

Maybe you could have kept all your gifts til he came home then? He's 17 its not as important as when you're 5/6.

SandStorm · 25/07/2011 11:17

But it's not about the giver - if you only want a reaction maybe you need to reassess why you're giving in the first place.

chicletteeth · 25/07/2011 11:17

Yes maybe so Mrs. Kravitz, but it's not about what's nice for you or what you want is it?

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 11:17

Also, opening gifts in front of the giver can make you very self concious, especially at 17yrs old.

YouDoTheMath · 25/07/2011 11:18

Yes, it's nice.... but surely it's up to the receiver to open the presents when they wish?

Kladdkaka · 25/07/2011 11:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think the best part of giving a gift is watching the person opening it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/07/2011 11:18

It's nice to see people opening their gifts but, unless you're the very needy and approval-seeking type, it's not essential.

BelleEnd · 25/07/2011 11:18

YABU.

Solo · 25/07/2011 11:19

YANBU, I would feel the same and even if it's a friend or other, I put a lot of work into gifts and like to judge their reaction and know that they like it.

Solo · 25/07/2011 11:21

or not! I should say.

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 11:21

But you'll know if they like it or not when they phone and say thank you.

What if their reaction was a negative one? They didn't like the gift and tried to hide the disappointment?

That'd be cringeworthy

sleepindogz · 25/07/2011 11:22

i dont like people opening their gifts i have given in front of me

i just dont feel comfortable

Solo · 25/07/2011 11:22

Never had a disappointment yet .

I do think it's nice to see the recipient open their gift from you. That's just me.

yoshiLunk · 25/07/2011 11:24

I agree he should be opening the presents while with you, especially in the case of the young DCs to enjoy the moment too. In our house presents never come before the birthday, they would have to wait until their next visit - but I'm mean like that Wink

MrsNorthman · 25/07/2011 11:25

YANBU. We bought a present for my husbands's father. He lives abroad and was in the UK for his 70th Birthday. He had a gathering of friends and we gave him his present at his party. It was a lovely fountain pen that i'd taken ages choosing and it was quite expensive. My husband, who doesn't get to see his Dad very often, maybe once a year, took him to one side and gave him the present and his Dad put it down on the side. It remained unopened for the whole time we were there and then we had to leave. He never even said thank you. Husband was gutted.

ImperialBlether · 25/07/2011 11:25

For those of you who think she's unreasonable/selfish, would you be happy going upstairs for a long hot bath whilst your children upwrap the Christmas presents you've bought them?

Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/07/2011 11:29

Oh well, I suppose its up to him but it would have been nice to see his face when he opened his gifts. :)

OP posts:
EvaPeron · 25/07/2011 11:31

Isn't this very cultural? My Chinese friends would never open a gift in front of the giver. They'd thank us for it and put it to one side regardless of day, then usual send thanks later when opened. Think this is to spare any potential embarrassment!