To think that you should open the gift in front of the giver

[MrsKravitz]

Wont see the birthday boy (dss17) until sunday and his birthday is tomorrow (going to his mother's tonight until sunday when he comes back to us). We have given him his gifts. He isnt going to open them until tomorrow.
AIBU in thinking he should open them now, with us?

YANBU If I had bought someone I love a gift I knew they would really like I would want to see them open it. Can you suggest DSS opens his presents straight away OP? Of course, if he appears reluctant you should leave it though.

YANBU If I had bought someone I love a gift I knew they would really like I would want to see them open it. Can you suggest DSS opens his presents straight away OP? Of course, if he appears reluctant you should leave it though.

I never open birthday presents before my birthday and neither do any of my family including children. People who insist on seeing people open gifts in front of them even when it isn't xmas/ birthday yet are giving a gift for the wrong reason. It's not supposed to be about the giver. I'm happy to wait to hear they liked it later. Sounds like you need to learn a bit of delayed gratification.

In Scotland you have most adult rights and responsibilities (except booze and driving) at 16.

It is driving lessons and a cheque for enough for a car in a "car" card.. His Dad and I saved up for some time. It doesnt matter now, I hope he loves it though when he opens it tomorrow

yabu, there will come a time when i will have to work on christmas day, and tbh i would rather them open and enjoy there present on christmas morning...rather than wait till 3pm just so i can see there little faces light up

My kids spend half their xmases with their dad. I give him their presents in advance and he hides them so they come down to them on xmas morning with the other presents. I'd feel i was spoiling xmas if I did anything else. Separated parents shouldn't screw up birthdays and xmases for kids.

If you give me that, I PROMISE to open it in front of you?

Nah, that is a really special present, I would rather that was all opened as a family. YANBU in this instance.

A chaeque enough for a car and driving lessons sounds like a huge present though, lucky him. I'm sure he'll be delighted.

YABU a bit think, although the size of the gift makes you less unreasonable!

I don't understand why you are giving him such a massive gift though when you obviously think is he an ungrateful wotsit. 'He won't thank us, he may mention it next week'.

you wicked step mother, ruining this adults birthday with a car and driving lessons! Hang your head in purest shame for daring to mention that you would like to be there to enjoy the reaction to your amzing gift. You horror.

I think we'd better start saving up for the insurance

I've never been sure about this so I googled - verdict from Debrette's is YANBU www.debretts.com/etiquette/british-behaviour/p-to-q/presents.aspx or rather, he should open in front of you, but I bet there is something else in there about going along with whatever the recipient is comfortable with and etiquette/manners being about making people comfortable etc.

Perhaps Debrett's hadn't considered the "present given before occasion" scenario?

Nice present MrsK :)

That is a fab present MrsK - I'm sure he'll be thrilled and he WILL thank you.

I can see why you are a bit sad now, I'd want to see his face knowing that the present is VERY generous.

lol Paperbank maybe they do in their books but I was only googling!