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AIBU?

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Original poster

My five year old was abandoned at an organised party

368 replies

KattyB · 24/07/2011 22:02

My husband took our five year old boy to a birthday party for two of his school friends in the local sports hall yesterday and when he came back to collect him, (five minutes late) all of his friends and their parents had left. There was another party going on afterwards, but my child was, well, abandoned. Not only that, but he actually managed to get outside the hall and was ?waiting for daddy? in the car park.

To say that I am angry is a little bit of an understatement and what could have happened doesn?t bear thinking about.

Don?t know the mums at all well and don?t have their phone numbers ?. Should I 'throw the book' at the venue???? What would you do?

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 24/07/2011 22:30

Did your dh actually check inside to make sure everyone had left? Your ds might have wandered outside when they weren't looking

androbbob · 24/07/2011 22:30

OP that is terrible. It is hard to say how to have 'words' with the party host if you dont know them well and are on school holidays, perhaps there is someone you know who knows them better and could make a comment on your behalf to them?

We had a party on Friday for nephew and there were two kids left at the end (twins) and we waited 25 minutes before their parents came to pick them up. It wouldnt have entered my head to leave them at the place. We had no contact number for their parents so will now make sure that have all numbers if kids are left.

thisfantasticvoyage · 24/07/2011 22:32

reading between the lines, looks like your partner was more than 5 mins late so trying to look for a scapegoat here is out of order. In any case, 5 mins is 5 mins - why couldnt he be on time or early?

PonceyMcPonce · 24/07/2011 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orienteerer · 24/07/2011 22:36

Parents of party child should of waited, likewise your DH should always arrive 5 mins BEFORE end of party.......or phone and ask them to wait!??

AgentProvocateur · 24/07/2011 22:36

I'd be blaming my DH,TBH - not anyone else. Presumably he knew when the part ended, so his responsibility to get there in time to pick up your DC. I agree that host family should have stayed till your DC was collected, but still ultimately your fault that he wasn't pick up in time.

orienteerer · 24/07/2011 22:37

"should have" not "of"!

nojustificationneeded · 24/07/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orienteerer · 24/07/2011 22:38

KattyB - did you not have the mobile number of the party parent?

Bohica · 24/07/2011 22:43

I wouldn't leave my 5y old with people I didn't know well enough to have a mobile number for & I wouldn't leave my 5y old with someone I didn't trust enough to call me when needed.

Being late really isn't acceptable for such a young age, you need to be there to say thank you & stop your child eating all the sweets in the party bag before you have the chance to pick the best ones out for yourself.

Original poster
KattyB · 24/07/2011 22:43

No, but my husband did leave our home phone number....

I just think it must have been a huge mistake on the part of the B'day mums.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 24/07/2011 22:45

Katty how late do you think DH REALLY was? be truthful, what's your gut instinct

orienteerer · 24/07/2011 22:50

DS is nearly 9 and when I drop him off at a party I always check that the party Mum has my mobile number (& I take a post-it note with it on just in case).

Original poster
KattyB · 24/07/2011 22:51

He did actually see one of the mums drive off as he was walking through the car park, but obviously didn't know at the time that there was nobody else there.

I have quizzed about the timing and he insists that it was only five minutes.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 24/07/2011 22:56

Blimey some of you are so sanctimoneous. Parents can be late for whatever reason. There is NO EXCUSE to leave a little boy of 5 on his own, even if the parents were 1/2 hours late they should be with that child until the parents come. When the party parents accepted responsiblity of that child as the op said that she was going to leave him there, than the child is THEIR responsiblity until he/she is handed over to the parent. They took your number, they should have rang you. With young children you have to be even more cautious and cannot take risks and make assumptions. OP I would not be leaving your DS unless you know the parents well, or he is a bit older.

RitaMorgan · 24/07/2011 22:58

I can't imagine they deliberately left him on his own Shock It must have been an accident, in the general chaos of everyone leaving.

Definitely call the mum and ask wtf happened though.

ChristinedePizan · 24/07/2011 23:00

I think your beef is with the other mothers, not the venue. When I went to a similar party for one of my friend's DC, I stayed and so did some of the other parents but we kept all the children in the party room until they were collected by an adult and made sure that the adult was actually 'with' them (ie they hadn't been 'swept up') as they left. Plus we were there for another 1/2 hour tidying up after they all had gone.

I would be furious too.

pigletmania · 24/07/2011 23:00

Surely the party parents would have had a check round to see if anyone left and would have noticed a young boy on his own. Unfortunately not all parents are that cautious though.

spiderpig8 · 24/07/2011 23:03

If your DH met your DC in the carpark at only 5 mins after the scheduled finishing time, how do you know that the party parents weren't still inside and your DC has done a runner ? I think it woukld be nearly impossible everyone had gone by 5 minutes after the end

CocktailQueen · 24/07/2011 23:05

We have been to millions of parties like this. Cannot believe this has happened. The party mum always notes who has left with who - if parents are collecting other kids too. It always takes about half an hour to leave these parties, what with tidying, ending late, getting everyone collected and off with party bags.

Cannot believe your dp was only 5 mins late.

And also cannot believe party mum left your ds in the car park. UNbelievable. Def ask her and see what she says.

ggirl · 24/07/2011 23:07

How was your poor wee ds , was he panicking?
Hope he's ok.

yousankmybattleship · 24/07/2011 23:09

Jesus! You leave a five year old at a party and then turn up late to collect him and it is someone else's fault if he is by himself? Do you not have any sense of parental responsibility? The hosts will have been busy, distracted, knackered etc etc etc and may well not have known your DS well. How come it is fine for you to breeze in late but unforgivable of them not to be watching him?

RitaMorgan · 24/07/2011 23:09

Maybe your ds slipped out, but only one of the party mums had left and the other was still there? Should have still noticed him missing though!

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 24/07/2011 23:13

I also think it is highly unlikely that he was only 5 minutes late but the last person there.
Did he go into the venue and ask? Is it not possible that your ds walked out the venue with a friend unnoticed and waited in the car park for your dh.
Even with another party straight after it would have had to finish pretty damn sharp for the party hosts to be packed up, party bags handed out and gone within 5 minutes.

scottishmummy · 24/07/2011 23:18

the responsibility to be on time to collect was parental
not venue
not other parents
was he really only 5min late.most parties still milling about and saying cheerio, packing kids and pressies into cars at 5mins finished