to not understand when people don't have compassion for addicts

[badlydrawngirl]

Hello. First post from a lurker.

The untimely & tragic death today of Amy Winehouse has sparked the usual flurry of comments on messageboards, twitter etc from people saying they have no sympathy, no respect or compassion towards an addict. They're somehow seen as subhuman and/or abhorrent, and over-risingly, that they chose to be an addict, they chose to end up in that state.

I was an addict, it's such an awful state to be in I really thought at one point that suicide would be my only way out. I really really didn't chose to end up feeling like that, I didn't even notic it happening!! It was a slow slippery slope downwards (cliché I know, but so true) and before I even recognised what was happening to me, it was too late - I was well & truly in the depths of it.

After a few unsuccesful attempts to cut down/stop I started to get scared, realising only then the grip I was in. I changed, I was horrible, I was dirty and immoral and put my friends & family through hell - it's only a testament to them that they're still in my life today.

Then with that came the crippling guilt, the anxiety, the hopelessness, the suicidal thoughts. I couldnt live with what I had done to my loved ones. All the things I was doing went against the very core of my being, I hated myself.

Saying "well they could just stop" is kind of like addiction denial. If you recognise the fact that there's such a thing as addiction, then surely you must understand the nature of what that means?

I certainly feel very saddened at Amy's death, there but for the grace of god goes anyone of us, our friends, our family, our chidlren.

Ladyofthemanor, if you think junkies live the life of Riley you haven't spent much time around them.

Well, you pair may not be addicts but you've got fuck all humanity about you. "Yawn", indeed.

That's my father you're yawning about. My father who watched his grandmother wiping up his and her blood off their kitchen floor. Sorry it's so tiresome for you to consider childhood trauma may be a factor in addiction. I'd go search out some citations for you but it won't change the utter lack of decency and compassion in posting as you have done.

You don't need to be addicted to be a shit of a human being, after all.

Mental health factors into it, being made homeless, jobless...

If you read my previous posts you will see that I said addicts come from all backgrounds. Which is why I don't get why you are so smug about it. It could be your child hooked on skag in the future. I saw a documentary a while back on Channel 4 about homeless people, most druggies. One girl had come from a wealthy, loving home and fell in love with a wrong type who got her into drugs. Family disowned her and there she was, sucked into a life of living for her next hit of H.

Frankly, you're deluded if you think that becoming a druggie couldn't happen to anyone. Deluded and a bit dim.

Hmm, where would you place Kate Moss? I think she lives the life of riley, I also think she is an ADDICT.

Addict or user? How many times must you use before you become an addict?

Urm Cupcakes, you still have to CHOOSE to put that shit into your body. Nobody else is responsible for you doing that.

Everyone is too busy patronising them and saying "there, there, it isn't your fault..." Someone has to take responsibility for those actions. That someone is not me, when I can step back and see the fucking mess drugs make of society.

There is a world of difference between user and addict and the amount of times you use a drig has no bearing of whether or not you are an addict.

So define for me, the difference? IS it mugging old people to fund your habit? Is it stealing from shops and selling on the black market? OR is it going to the bank and withdrawing 10k for a party on Friday night? Or do you make the definition by wealth?

Do you drink, LadyoftheManor? Shop? Buy lottery tickets? Have you ever used prescription painkillers?

Many people become addicted to things that are legal and become addicted quite quickly for a variety of complex reasons.

No I don't. I had painkillers prescribed to me when I had my appendix removed and I was on life support for 3 weeks. I don't drink, nor do I gamble.

And if I did, I'd be paying tax and supporting the NHS for any possible healthcare I might need one day.

the difference is whether or not you have a compulsive pyhsiological and pyschological need for a substance. I am sure you are able to make the distinction between drinking wine socially and being an alcoholic LOTM? Therefore, you already understand the difference and do not need anyone to define it for you.

I'm mixed about this. Must be awful to be addicted but i can understand why people can have no compassion if they have had to deal with the negative side of addiction or been the victim of an addict. I probably have more sympathy for addict's families and victims but I can see that some have had such crappy lives that choosing a better road wasn't so easy. I had a relatively good, stable childhood compared to some people, so i find it hard to be too smug about how others have dealt with the crap hand that was dealt them though obviously not every addict had a bad beginning. I also worry that i have an addictive personality (runs in the family) so was always scared of even dabbling with drugs. the help and support should be there for them as it only benefits everyone to try and help them deal with their addiction. I saw a documentary recently, 'The Scheme' - it was set in Scotland in a run down area with addicts and 'low life'. Was scarily depressing and was easy to see why for some, it is so easy to end up with nothing and just spiraling out of control.

No one tells a drug user it isn't their fault and people who work with drug users always point out that it is their choice to continue to use.

Great thing about being human is that we are all different and we all cope differently, and some of us don't cope at all.

Some of don't cope and block things out with drink and drugs.

That kills some of us eventually, some of us recover and go on to live successful and meaningful lives.

I don't think that it's up to you to decide whether Kate Moss is a junkie or not. That is pure speculation and possibly libellous.

Assuming that she is, you think that "living the life of Riley" is quantified by money then you are very shallow. Money doesn't automatically mean that your mental health is sound, you do know that?

Lady - do you ever wonder what you would have become if your life had been different and you didn't have the choices you had? Do you think you would have always ended up the same and where you are now, no matter what beginning or support you had?

Honestly, I think that some people need to stop posting on subjects they know fuck all about and what little knowledge they do have they got by watching Trainspotting at uni'.

Life isn't like that and not all addicts fit into your shitty littlevpigronhole if what an addict should be.

Help and support should be available for everyone but unfortunately it will only work when the addict decides to ask for it. Just taking them by the hand (or booting them up the backside) and leading them there won't work - they themselves have to want to do it.

And unfortunately the help and support may not be there when/if they choose to ask for it - but that's a whole other thread.

Oops "shitty little pigeonhole"

Cupcakes, you are implying that all junkies are mentally "unsound". This is a matter of opinion and not medically factual.

Go ahead and bleat your sympathies, I shan't do the same.

70% of current inmates residing at HMP hasve been through the care system in the UK as have 70% of the homeless population - I'm guessing that stat is probably quite high for the drug using commuinity too as both those groups have a tendancy to have addiction problems.

Does that not say more about the Brisih Care System and us as a society than people just being "weak". It is SO much more complex than that

Working9While5, That was a shitty life your dad had, and a shitty thing that got said to you on here.

Yanbu.

But then ... but then ... I have overcome a couple of addictions. It is possible to recover. You don't have to be an addict all your life.

I do understand a lack of sympathy with addicts who are criminals, addicts who neglect or abuse their children, addicts who don't do everything they can to access the help that is available to them.

AW didn't even have to worry about finding the funds. She had an enormous advantage in that respect at least.

I don't think there's any need to bully LOTM just because she disagrees.
Drugs are illegal.. people addicted are held legally responsible for their own actions and are not sectionable.
Therefore from that POV they are responsible for their own destruction and are committing a crime.
We might understand how someone can end up in that situation but it doesn't mean we approve.. I would feel the same if it was myself...I might become depressed or distressed, but even then I wouldn't become an alcoholic , drug addict or commit suicide... I have seen too much of the reality at close hand to do those things.
If you have had a lifetime experience of living with an addict you will know how profoundly selfish addicts are.
I would try to help within reason... but sometimes families helping their family member are really enabling so it is not always right to support them .

Thanks Blether. Hurrah a friend.

Would you like some of my coffee out of my flask?

I am not implying that all addicts are mentally unsound, I was giving you one example. Like I said, there are other factors.

I think it's easy to dismiss "junkies" and their difficulties when you lead a charmed life. Let's just hope that nothing tips your cost little world upside down and you can carry on waving to everyone from your high horse, eh?