to not understand when people don't have compassion for addicts

[badlydrawngirl]

Hello. First post from a lurker.

The untimely & tragic death today of Amy Winehouse has sparked the usual flurry of comments on messageboards, twitter etc from people saying they have no sympathy, no respect or compassion towards an addict. They're somehow seen as subhuman and/or abhorrent, and over-risingly, that they chose to be an addict, they chose to end up in that state.

I was an addict, it's such an awful state to be in I really thought at one point that suicide would be my only way out. I really really didn't chose to end up feeling like that, I didn't even notic it happening!! It was a slow slippery slope downwards (cliché I know, but so true) and before I even recognised what was happening to me, it was too late - I was well & truly in the depths of it.

After a few unsuccesful attempts to cut down/stop I started to get scared, realising only then the grip I was in. I changed, I was horrible, I was dirty and immoral and put my friends & family through hell - it's only a testament to them that they're still in my life today.

Then with that came the crippling guilt, the anxiety, the hopelessness, the suicidal thoughts. I couldnt live with what I had done to my loved ones. All the things I was doing went against the very core of my being, I hated myself.

Saying "well they could just stop" is kind of like addiction denial. If you recognise the fact that there's such a thing as addiction, then surely you must understand the nature of what that means?

I certainly feel very saddened at Amy's death, there but for the grace of god goes anyone of us, our friends, our family, our chidlren.

There's plenty of law abiding citizens who feel worthless who don't get the compassion a junkie gets.

Many people feel worthless and go on to develop depression-all the while not funding a dirty, illegal habit. They deserve the compassion and sympathy, not the dregs in the underworld injecting themselves because "life is too much". Their selfishness is beyond my comprehension.

I hope your hands are clean LOTM and no one you love ever enters addiction - and needs your compassion

I haven't looked of FB or Twitter, but can imagine the sort of shit on them.

Amy had an extraordinary talent; her life was tragic. Who knows whether one was dependent on the other or not? I think it is terribly, terribly sad, and the world is a little darker now.

No but my mother suffers from a mental illness, I save my compassion for her...you know the type that don't fund illegal ongoings.

Addiction IS a mental illness.

I don't do facebook or twitter so I can't comment on what vile things may have been said.
All I would say is that some people may appear to lack compassion but in some cases there lives have been so badly affected by friends/family addicted to some substance or other that they get a bit hardened. I think it is a result of a self preservation mechanism that eventually kicks in, where you appear to be uncaring, but it's more that you switch off for the sake of your own sanity.

No, that's a choice.

You choose to inject illegal substances into your body. People do not choose schizophrenia or bi polar disorder.

So you are saying the addiction came first and mental health issues follow? That makes sense, but it does not justify the need to use drugs in the first place.

MitzytheVixen sums it up for me. I have mixed feelings too - I do feel some sympathy for people who are addicted to drugs, but more for their families/friends and others who may be damaged by their addiction.

It is sad that Amy Winehouse has died, but sadly very predictable.

Addiction can also develop as people start to experience mental health problems in the form of self medicating against sometimes very distressing experiences and emotions.

And I guess it boils down to whether you believe addiction is a mental illness in its own right - which I do - or not. Which is something we'll never agree on I suspect LOTM :-)

And I agree Isla, that's a really good point that I'd not considered on here. Thank you!

LOTM, your comments suggest compassion is some form of rationed commodity, it is not, it is a mark of a civilised society. I dread to think what bitter, cold world we would live in if everyone thought like you!

'to not understand when people don't have compassion for addicts'

Because it can be very difficult to understand if you have no experience of drug addiction yourself. I have known addicts who desperately want to quit, but the willpower required is monumental, and some people just aren't that strong.

I doubt anybody who takes drugs for the first time believes they will possibly become an addict, it's not in their sphere of experience.

I reserve my compassion for those who struggle and don't fund criminal activity. It's all "blah blah blah, rough up bringing, blah blah blah".

Plenty of people grew up in a less than ideal situation WITH mental health issues (and without for that matter) and managed it without buying illegal substances. I don't have sympathy for people who make matters worse for themselves.

Be interested to know how much it costs the NHS to provide "clean needle schemes" (if run by the NHS), rehab places (some are funded by the state) and various other programmes. I mean, smokers drain the NHS, but in all fairness they pay tax on their habit-so they are in effect, paying for their own treatment.

I have compassion for anyone with mental health issues or distress.
I understand self medication is common but also lifestyle choice plays a part in many addictions such as smoking/ drinking.
However I find it harder to excuse/ understand people who refuse any help for addiction.
If you repeatedly refuse help, it looks more like a choice from then on.

Personally I think that it depends on the individual addict.

People find themselves addicts for many different reasons and I think we should see addicts as indivuals rather than thinking they are defined by their addiction.

There are plenty of addicts who found themselves sucked in by addiction for various reasons and have mostly harmed only themselves, or who feel terribly guilty for the suffering they have caused their loved ones. But there are also addicts who are selfish and don't give a shit what they do or who they hurt.

I agree, I don't get the blanket "no sympathy" response in general.

I've worked with addicts and there are plenty who I have a lot of sympathy for. There are also plenty who are just selfish nasty gits - and I'd hazard a guess that they were probably selfish nasty gits before they were addicts too.

agree with wildstrawberry, good post

I think there can be less compassion for someone in a position such as Amy Winehouse as one of the main barriers to recovery - money - is readily available, as are a strong network of friends/support and the opportunities to break the cycle. Her father clearly spoke about the cause of her problems - her fame and celebrity - but she didn't want to leave it behind and start again. Very sad, but my sympathy lies mainly with those that loved her and lost her and I really don't understand the huge public raving about her when only a few weeks ago she was being completely slated for her inability to successfully complete a public performance for years.

Drug addiction services are mssively under resourced and difficult to access at the time when they are most vital - when the person experiencing addiction is ready to use them - becuase there are usually long waiting lists for residential or inpatient detox and rehab, and outpatient rehab does nto always work for people.

The NHS would save money by investing in addiction services rather than treating the physical consequences of drug addiction and their concommitant impact on children and families.

I also can see where sympathy can diminish when repeated offers of help are not accepted.

Also, in terms of the drug use / criminality link - one service I used to refer my service users to had a waiting list of 14 weeks for people to be assessed.

People who had commited crimes and were referred to the service by the courts were seen within 5 days.

Needless to say, crime became an attractive option for people who were desperate for help with their addictions.

IMO Drugs should be legalised and legislated. It would cut crime by at least 50% and the government would get back in VAT what they spend treating substance misusers.

No, because they would be used more and they are harmful.

Not if it was properly legislated it wouldn't. Worked in the Netherlands.

Not everyone smokes and drinks alcohol do they?

People do have a brain and the capacity to assess risks for themselves.