To feel upset about sil not breastfeeding?

[wheelygirl]

hi, new here so pls be gentle!

My dh's brother and his wife had a baby boy four days ago. She said she had a lovely birth and was out of hospital the next day.

We visited them yesterday at home and sil was bottle feeding. Now, I don't give a shit how people feed their children, I don't have any kids (am pg)But I got quite upset because her ds kept trying to breastfeed from her. He was refusing the bottle and kept nuzzling into her chest. Her breasts were leaking as well and she told me she was hand expressing and chucking it away. I asked her why she didnt give it to her ds and she told me that she doesn't want him to get used to breast milk. He had the formula milk then vomited it back up five minutes later. He was really crying and it made me feel awful when he was turning his head to her breast and opening his mouth.

She then went on to tell me that he hasn't even had colostrum because it was too much of a faff to get him to latch on. Colostrum is the important stuff right?

Why do I feel so upset about this? I felt her ds was doing something so instinctive and she should at least have tried to breastfeed. I understand that some women have great difficulty breastfeeding and formula is a more than adequate alternative but at least try and do it.

Aibu?

I can't think of one post here where anyone in support of bf said all women should bf. Of course there are instances where bf is a struggle that can be impossible for mum ( no one has questioned this but some of you insist we have). Some of us have merely stated our feelings on bf and our thoughts on women who don't even try - we haven't called anyone names just put our thoughts out there. Sorry lyingwitch but to go to MN and ask them to ban these from aibu is so so stupid - where will it stop on subjects banned from here if that happens?! So silly.

ermmmm have you read the thread, i cant remember who has said what but....where i was asked to share personal medical info? that isn't saying breast milk is fab or even expressing an opinion n breast milk

feeling sorry for children with bottles (which could have ebm in) is not expressing a love of breasteeding that is expressing a view that somehow that child is suffering as a result of its parents actions to bottle feed which is inappropriate

what about those who've had pnd belittled, those who've had their maternal insticts questioned, the OP must have spent 2 hrs staring at that newborn baby to make so many judgements in a room full of people

that is where tik tok and some others shows maturity and tact where some others do not..... not actually seen anyone say they have loved formula feeding not seen anyone say formula is nutritionally better but there IS benefits to both and those benefits will change from person to person, i dont see the problem in saying you got on better with formula

Wow, difficult to believe this is still going. Of course it's unreasonable to judge the way a mother chooses to feed her child.
Of course breastmilk is best but it's also heartbreakingly hard for some women
How about we all support each other rather than bunfighting?