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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 17/07/2011 15:04

Grin @ "a goldfish that looks at her funny"

OP YANBU

I wouldn't want an incontinent dog in my house either and I have a dog.

Agree completely with what ShoutyHamster has posted.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 15:04

Riven said she left a dog in the car for hours. Is that not cruel? Hmm. I don't find it so myself so long as it is not hot. I'd tell them not to come at all, Winky, because their dog is their responsibility and I'd just not have one in my house. As for the cunt comments, it's just making me laugh even more.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 17/07/2011 15:05

Unbook the hotel then.

What was the point in this thread? Hmm

lachesis · 17/07/2011 15:05

Or find it a kennel and if they don't like that, they can stay home.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 17/07/2011 15:05

dog nappies

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 15:07

ChaoticAngel

Problem solved then OP Smile

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 15:15

If I owned the dog, which is old and poorly, I wouldn't wish it to travel at all, let alone stay in a different house, and for me not to be with it.

I just can't see how this trip and this proposed arrangement is in the dog's best interests. Dogs do feel stuff and whilst it's maybe anthropomorphic to attribute too many emotions to them, dogs can and do feel distress.

Poor old dog, I say.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 17/07/2011 15:16

Not quite the same, but my PIL were going to visit us last year, bringing my small nephew with them. Their plan was to book into a hotel for the weekend, leaving small nephew to stay with us. He was 3 at the time, not completely house trained and prone to be very noisy at early-o-clock in the morning. He also didn't really know us as we live miles away and only see him a couple of times a year. I said no. Actually it turned out alright in the end because his mother (SIL) said no, too - they'd planned to take the boy on holiday without asking her first.

OP - you are not being unreasonable. I am surprised by the number of people who think you should be an unpaid minder for this incontinent animal for a weekend, and that your inlaws should assume you won't mind.
Are they expecting you to take it for walks and pick up poo, as well?

(disclaimer - I do not like dogs and would not enjoy having one to stay)

Longtime · 17/07/2011 15:18

I like dogs. I have a dog. I'm astounded at some of the comments made about Winky here though. I totally agree with ShoutyHamster. If the dog is in unfamiliar surroundings at night (say you shut him downstairs in the kitchen/utility room because of potential accidents), there is a strong chance that he will be unhappy and whine all night. You seriously don't want that for three nights,neither for the family nor for the dog.

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 15:26

How old are dc's? If the dog is very old etc, how will it cope with having children running around?

Being very old he probably sleeps a lot and wouldnt know the difference between your house or a kennel anyhow?

ohnoudidnt · 17/07/2011 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 17/07/2011 15:40

LineRunner makes a good point. The PILs may or may not be selfish in keeping this poor creature alive in the state it's in; maybe their vet has told them it still has good quality of life - fair enough (maybe).
But taking it on a stressful journey and abandoning it in a strange house where its carers are tolerating its presence at best, is neglectful and appalling behaviour.
If they insist on keeping the dog alive in this condition they should make sure it has the reassurance of their company at all times.
Yes, it's a bind - but that should be part of their consideration when deciding whiter to pts or not.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 17/07/2011 15:40

Whiter? Whether.

OriginalPoster · 17/07/2011 15:43

Have not read the whole thread but

Why don't you stay in the hotel and leave guests and dcs in your house? Then you can come and visit and eat all the lovely meals they have cooked for you.. After your lie in and hotel breakfast of course.

Grin
reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 15:43

I don't think the OP is that bad as it 'appens....

But now lachesis.....

Another story.

DooinMeCleanin · 17/07/2011 15:46

The Op does have a right to say what does and does not enter her house of course and she should not be expected to cope with animals she does not like but it is not just her house is it? Her DH also lives there and since he agreed to have the dog, it sounds like he is more than willing to accomodate the dog so that he can see his parents.

Op is being a little selfish vetoing this with no concern for her husband and children who might miss out seeing PIL as a result. If DH did similar I would leave him tbh, but then my family including their pets are very important to me.

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 15:50

WhatsWrongWithYou expresses this much better than me.

Owners, I feel, have a 'contract' with their dogs and the most important part of that is always to look after the dog's welfare, especially when it's ill or old or both. Dogs are actutely sensitive to place and people, especially 'home' and their 'family'.

If you do end up having to 'suck it up' (to use a MN hated phrase!) might I recommend that you delineate a corner of a room with lots and lots of chuckable bedding - charity shop textiles, dust sheets e.g. - and don't limit the dog's water.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 17/07/2011 15:50

DooinMeCleanin - are you assuming that the OP's husband will be the one cleaning up the puddles of dog wee?

ohnoudidnt · 17/07/2011 15:51

sorry i thought lachesis started this thread! i need to get some sleep apologies op i thought lachesis was the op Blush

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 15:51

I like OriginalPoster's idea of the OP going to the hotel!

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 15:52

Wow@ "Why would anyone want to stay with you?..... Including the dog.What a horrid person you sound ....I have scraped better off my shoe"

Just because OP doesnt want to babysit a dog? or have i missed something?

DooinMeCleanin · 17/07/2011 15:54

Well, yes it's his family dog if they want the dog there then he should clean up after it.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 17/07/2011 15:54

I think the dog in this case is getting more sympathy than usual because it's old and feeble.

This is not the first thread I have seen along the lines of "PIL want to bring their animal to my house" and usually the OP gets more sympathy - in this case they are expected to have dog to stay overnight, as well.

Could the "I'm worried it might bit the children" excuse be used here? After all, dog is old and ill and would be left in a strange house without its owners.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 17/07/2011 15:55

Doin, can I take it then that you'd be prepared to leave a blind, ailing dog in a house where at least one person doesn't want it there, while you swan off to a nearby hotel?
You may not like the cut of the OP's gyb but I doubt very much you would treat one of your dogs the way the OP's PIL's are shaping up to do.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 17/07/2011 15:58

Bloody auto correct sprinkling apostrophes everywhere Blush.