Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think urinating in the bedroom after a night out drinking is far from normal

170 replies

marl · 17/07/2011 10:19

OK, hoping here to get some wise advice from any of you that know about this, personally, medically or alcohol related. After a week of having hardly any sleep due to DS2 and 3, I was woken at 2.30am by DP throwing things around the bedroom and then crouching at the end of the bed weeing. I ended up turning all lights on, screaming at him and speaking to him like a child (but much more rudely) and eventually making him get to the toilet. He was so drunk after a night out with a friend that he really didn't seem to react appropriately to any of this and I ended up stomping around clearing up the carpet, as I didn't think he'd be capable.

I am so fuming and disgusted about this I can hardly speak to him. Added to which while he had no memory of it this morning and has apologised, he doesn't seem to be very disgusted and he says men who are pissed often do things like this eg in the wardrobe. I have never known him do this, and certainly no other men in my past.

He is someone who does seem to suddenly tip over the edge when he drinks alcohol and get very silly and beligerent - almost like an allergy. When I first met him some years ago I did wonder if he might be/become an alcoholic - I thought he seemed to have a strange reaction to it. But nothing has ever materialised on that front and on a normal week he just drinks reasonably 'normally', though when he has a big night out he still seems to have the same reaction. Amusing to some but certainly not last night. Thinking of decamping to my mums tonight in protest and also to get an unbroken night after being woken up by him and both DCs last night...

OP posts:
mummakaz · 17/07/2011 12:21

Have been with DH for 12 yrs, for the last say 2 yrs everytime he gets drunk he pisses where he shouldn't. He is now banned from getting pissed lol he never used to do it though so don't know why all of a sudden it started to happen? Confused

BuffyJ · 17/07/2011 12:24

A few of my male friends have admitted to doing this when students. A one off is nothing to be worried about.

I was in the communal carriage of the London to Edinburgh sleeper train last year when a drunk man stood up, turned round and urinated in his seat. Everyone in the carriage was given a cabin, except him, he was thrown off at next stop!!

mummakaz · 17/07/2011 12:24

I must say my though DH only drinks about 3-4 times a year so it's not a drink problem in my case

EmmaBemma · 17/07/2011 12:24

A friend of mine (no, not 'a friend'), did exactly this at uni - got hammered on a night out, stayed over at her boyfriend's, and in the middle of the night, got up, sat on the bedside chest of drawers, and peed all over it. She was mortified about it for weeks. Her boyfriend was really sweet about it, considering he was the one who'd had to clean it up! So it's not just blokes, and whilst it's not normal in the sense that it's OK, it's not that weird. I think being very drunk can mess with people's sleep patterns so that they get easily confused in the night.

Terraviva · 17/07/2011 12:51

Not read the whole thread but yes I've known of lots of guys who do this or have done it at least once. It is gross, but relatively 'normal'.

bubbub · 17/07/2011 12:54

i think its more normal than youd think, dh no longer drinks except very rare minimal amounts du to his exceptional lightweighness and proneness to pissing everwhere, he has peed down concrete steps in front of his mates, on the draining board boak and on my toni and guy hairbrush, the letterbox, the kitchen, the bathroom seemed to be classed as "near enough" and would pee in the doorway.
he stopped drinking after i was raging. problem solved

Wecanfixit · 17/07/2011 13:14

I suggest you buy him a potty see how he likes that, well if he is going to behave like a 2year old he may as well be treated like one , poor you ....it is such a gross thing to do.

Morloth · 17/07/2011 13:17

I am so glad I have a different version of 'normal' than so many MNers.

I would drop DH so fast if he ever got so drunk he pissed in our bedroom.

Fucking hell women put up with some bullshit.

I have never known anyone to do this.

jeckadeck · 17/07/2011 13:19

its not unheard of, and I wouldn't say its a dealbreaker if its only happened once but it would worry me because as you say its indicative of a strange reaction to alcohol. Definitely worth having words about.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 13:35

Why are the partners cleaning up after an adult who is so drunk they piss outside the toilet?

Why on Earth would you do this?

I don't expect anyone to clean up after me even when I'm ill with a stomach virus or bug.

TooImmature2BDumbledore · 17/07/2011 13:46

Dh has never done this, thank God, but a friend of mine at school did it the first time he got really drunk, at a party. We were about 16, it was 3 or 4 in the morning, maybe 15 or 20 teenagers in a room, when suddenly this guy gets up from a drunken sleep, walks into a corner, unzips and starts peeing! He never lived it down.

Also, a friend's sister wet the bed when drunk (she was probably 17 at the time) - she had the top bunk above my friend, who was woken up by something dripping on her face! Eww. So yes, it is something women do too, but both my experiences have been with young people early on in their drinking careers, not older people who have been drinking for many years.

lachesis - I would clean up because DH isn't that good at cleaning even when he's sober and I wouldn't trust him not to do a half-assed job!

manicinsomniac · 17/07/2011 14:30

Fairly normal I think.

A friend at uni swore to me that, when very drunk, men see any tall, upright object as the urinal they are seeking?!

My sister's housemate once opened the freezer and pissed into one of the drawers!! [shocked]

As a student it's quite funny. In grown adults with families not so much.

rocketleaf · 17/07/2011 14:36

Lachesis, would you rather leave urine to fester until they woke up from a drunken stupor just to proove a point? Anyone who can't tell the difference between a bin and a toilet is hardly going to do an adequate job of cleaning up.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 17/07/2011 14:43

It's pretty normal - as evidenced on this thread. And I don't think it's a case of losing bladder control as someone mentioned further down - it's more being so drunk that they don't realise where they are. As rebecca2 said it's more a drink induced sleepwalk.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 15:02

'Lachesis, would you rather leave urine to fester until they woke up from a drunken stupor just to proove a point? Anyone who can't tell the difference between a bin and a toilet is hardly going to do an adequate job of cleaning up.'

Yes. It's not my mess, I don't clean it up. No point to prove. But like I said, it's a dealbreaker for me. They'd do it once and that would be all because I don't find it normal at all. If you get that pissed you do that, you need to stop getting pissed full stop.

This country has a serious problem with alcohol and it's not hard to see why, if getting so leathered you lose control of your bladder or mistake a bin or wardrobe for a loo is seen in any way as normal.

rocketleaf · 17/07/2011 15:33

Fair enough but I find that a but unforgiving. I'd rather see a relationship as a two way thing where people make mistakes but are allowed to make up for them than split up with someone you love because they made a prat of themselves when drunk. My partner has never cheated on me or hurt me, and is wonderful to me in lots of ways. And he cleans up after my mess all the time, made when I haven't got the excuse that I am drunk but just that I am generally a bit messy, because thats what you do in a partenership. I didnt say it was 'normal' and he certainly didn't get off lightly but I would have missed out on ten years of happiness if I thought the way you do. No ones perfect.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 15:35

Any relationship I had with someone who had so little control of themselves whilst drinking would end long before partnership stage.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 15:35

It's only seen as normal here to do this because people equate binge drinking to the point where you do something like this as a fun night out.

frazzle26 · 17/07/2011 15:37

My sister did that once in our hallway- my mum wasn't impressed!!

brownleatherbrogues · 17/07/2011 15:48

its not uncommon, but i would no more clean up piss than i would clean up someones vomit after they had had too much to drink

that would be their job

SparklyCloud · 17/07/2011 16:01

I would not tolerate any man puissing or shitting anywhere other than a toilet when drunk. I would make them sleep at a mates or a hotel if they want a lads night out. In fact people vomiting anywhere other than the toilet would also knock me sickGrin
When younger and would come home pissed, I always made it to the loo to be sick in.

SparklyCloud · 17/07/2011 16:02

lachesis agree with you

KenDoddsDadsDog · 17/07/2011 16:05

I haven't heard of anyone I know doing this since we were students getting drunk on cheap cider. My friend pissed all over his priceless vinyl collection.
Not really something I would accept from a grown man with children.

StewieGriffinsMom · 17/07/2011 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellihejj · 17/07/2011 16:23

Have to say my partner has done this on many occasions as has his friends, so to me, this behaviour is normal within reason.