AIBU to think urinating in the bedroom after a night out drinking is far from normal

[marl]

OK, hoping here to get some wise advice from any of you that know about this, personally, medically or alcohol related. After a week of having hardly any sleep due to DS2 and 3, I was woken at 2.30am by DP throwing things around the bedroom and then crouching at the end of the bed weeing. I ended up turning all lights on, screaming at him and speaking to him like a child (but much more rudely) and eventually making him get to the toilet. He was so drunk after a night out with a friend that he really didn't seem to react appropriately to any of this and I ended up stomping around clearing up the carpet, as I didn't think he'd be capable.

I am so fuming and disgusted about this I can hardly speak to him. Added to which while he had no memory of it this morning and has apologised, he doesn't seem to be very disgusted and he says men who are pissed often do things like this eg in the wardrobe. I have never known him do this, and certainly no other men in my past.

He is someone who does seem to suddenly tip over the edge when he drinks alcohol and get very silly and beligerent - almost like an allergy. When I first met him some years ago I did wonder if he might be/become an alcoholic - I thought he seemed to have a strange reaction to it. But nothing has ever materialised on that front and on a normal week he just drinks reasonably 'normally', though when he has a big night out he still seems to have the same reaction. Amusing to some but certainly not last night. Thinking of decamping to my mums tonight in protest and also to get an unbroken night after being woken up by him and both DCs last night...

Would it be quite so hee haw hilarious if they were shitting themselves?

Which lucky person gets to scrub up all that piss i wonder? Can partners of pissers please enlighten?

Your in the minority Animation obviously you've never been a student

Animation - it is disgusting but as a rare event it is very common. It has never happened to me but I know plenty of people it has happened to (albiet usually when they were younger not so much as "responsible adults") and none of them has a drink problem.

chibi I don't think anyone is saying it is funny

"When I first met him some years ago I did wonder if he might be/become an alcoholic"

This is what the OP said.

She already suspected he had a serious drink problem - and it looks like he does - at his age peeing on the carpet FFS!

But look at what he drinks in the week - very little. This was a one off so it's hardly time to drag him off to AA. A spell in the doghouse and a morning spent replacing the carpet is enough I think

I think there are many different drink problems and alcoholism is just one of them. Someone who when he drinks too much wets the bed or urinates on the floor does have a drink problem if they choose to drink that much knowing the consequences, even though they may only get that drunk once a month. If I knew that when I drank heavily I wet the bed I would never drink that much, although I'm amazed anyone with kids wants the added hassle of a hangover in the morning and suspect those of you with blokes who drink are soft on making them do their share of early mornings.

It isnt rare, I know a lot of men who have done it, including, my DAD! My DH, and quite a few friends, My friends dh does this about once a month, in past year he has done it in hallway, down the stairs, in her handbag, her shoes, in a dresser drawer, she just expects it! My DH was known to do it as a single lad and his dad had a lock on his door as he had been known to urinate over his dad! When we first moved in together I woke up to him standing over me, but I stopped him in time, I humiliated him so much by telling all his friends, family and anyone who would listen he has never ever tried anything like it again, He was so humiliated

I wouldn't necessarily say it's normal, but it isn't unusual at all, and as Piglet says, it doesn't indicate mental health or abuse issues at all - what a lot of tosh. The only thing it indicates is too much alcohol. Too much alcohol that they think they have made it to the bathroom (hence why opening wardrobe doors is often common in these situations).

My Dh has never done this. But I have known men to do this (a boyfriend from Uni). Completely disgusting. For me, once would be a warning, second time would be a dealbreaker.

What do you call sleepwalkers who do this then . Easy to do, sometimes people dream they are in the toilet and if they sleepwalk thats what happens. It is normal, yes disgusting, but yes normal for drunk person to pee anywhere else that is not a toilet, does not mean they have drink issues. For that there are many other factors to consider such as: how many units they consume a week, how often does someone drink and their behaviour when they are under the influence of alcohol, which does include peeing in wardrobes.

2rebecca if he WAS doing it once a month, then it might indicate a problem. But he isn't.

Bet he wouldn't be too impressed if he woke up to find you drunkenly peeing in the bedroom and left him to clean it up. I don't think it's normal to get so drunk you don't know where you're peeing. He doesn't sound very sorry about it which shows a lack of respect for you. He should be genuinely sorry and concerned about what he did, not dismissing it as "something men often do when pissed"

Nope but they are saying it is totally normal- what kind of maniac could possibly find fault in losing control of your own bladder? It really isn't a night out unless you have pissed on the carpet/in a wardrobe/your matress/the kids right?

Again which lucky person gets to clean it up?

I am talking about general peeing in unusual places when drunk not necessarily about the op

Op maybe you should have a drink or two tonight and shit on him

Pigletmania - you come across as a bit of an apologist for heavy drinkers.

catgirl I think you're spot on; I heard of this happening a lot when I was a student but I'm not sure I've heard it mentioned recently. But then maybe people don't think it's so funny when they are adults with adult responsibilities...

The only one of my close group of friends who still regularly goes out and gets hammered (and he's an aggro drunk) is seen as a bit of an oddball by the rest of us - but it's obviously not unusual among his drinking mates!

I know someone who's DH did this a couple of times.

She left him in the middle of the night with the DC on the occasion when he was so drunk that as well as urinating he walked around the upstairs of the house in a disorientated state after having crapped himself & basically spread it all over the bed, carpets etc.

She did go back but it's over now. He didn't even seem ashamed that so many of us knew why she had left.

Just because lots of people do it does not make it acceptable behaviour for a grown up!
If alcohol is making him behave in such a way, then then problem is easily solved by cutting down on the drinking.

I definitely had a problem with drink. But still, never once pissed anywhere but a toilet or despite hanging out with other problem drinkers, had experience of a person pissing in a home outside a toilet.

What kind of person does this? I guess I never met anyone who was that type and again, been leathered far more than my share.

It is completely disgusting. I could never stand to be with someone who gets so drunk that they will piss in the middle of the bedroom floor. Luckily I have never heard of this outside MN. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

I heard of this happening a few times to blokes when I was a student.

In recent years I have only heard of one person doing it - a friend's husband who is an alcoholic and would regularly piss the bed after a session.

So I agree with those who are saying if this is a one off it is not indicative of a drink problem. It is however unacceptable for someone with family responsibilities who should know better.