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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that my partner mingled with he shes in Bangkok?!

92 replies

lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:29

My partner of 10 years went to Thailand a few months ago on a 'blokes holiday' to celebrate one of his friends birthdays, I didn't mind him going at all. Yesterday one of the friends put the holiday pictures on facebook. There was my partner grabbing a 'he - she's' boob, there is another one of him touching this persons nipple and another of him with his arm round a female prostitute smiling. He said the whole he - she thing was just a laugh and they were all in fits of laughter at the transexual ( yes they are very childish when together!), he said he was just talking to the female prostitute, I know in my own mind that he would never have sex with a prostitute. So, AIBU so be making his life hell since seeing the pictures? I personally find them sick and seedy, he says it was all done for a laugh ... what do you think?!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 15/07/2011 14:30

Everyone's got to make a living.

MrSpoc · 15/07/2011 14:32

Dont see the problem with talking to prostitutes. Afterall they are human. (You said yourself he didnt shag one).

Also it does sound like he was larking about with the HE/SHE not like his boobs were real. So i dont see the issue.

LessonsinL · 15/07/2011 14:32

YABU - I think you need to look at your own views on trans-gender individuals.

Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:33

yes everyone does have to make a living, i don't have a problem with the job these people are doing, i have a problem with my partner grabbing their boobs and being photographed with a prostitute!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:34

Please note - i have no issues with people who decide to change sex - it's my partners insensitivity that i have the problem with!

OP posts:
MrSpoc · 15/07/2011 14:34

But the boobs arnt real. Not like he grabbed a womans boobs and what is wrong with talking to prostitutes???

BulletWithAName · 15/07/2011 14:34

He/she? Fucking hell OP, they're transgender people not He/she's?

TheBigJessie · 15/07/2011 14:34

I feel sorry for the poor prostitutes, putting up with mockery and sexual assault from your husband and his mates to make a living.

Do the words, "fellow human being" have any meaning in the lolabanola household?

squeakytoy · 15/07/2011 14:34

Supposing it was a drag queen in a UK nightclub he was larking about with. How would you feel then?

Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:37

yes Bigjessie he was very demeaning to the prostitute, thats another thing thats annoyed me.

As for a drag queen - they look like men dressed as women, this transexual had boobs and looked like a woman

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 15/07/2011 14:37

MrSpoc, what?????????????????

So, if I had breast implants, would it mean it wasn't sexual assault if someone touched my breasts without my permission?

Pootles2010 · 15/07/2011 14:37

Really? They were in 'fits of laughter at the transexual'? You think the transexual was sick and seedy?

You sound charming.

Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:38

No i do not think that transexual was sick and seedy .... I found the photos of my partner touching the persons nipple seedy!!!!!!

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 15/07/2011 14:38

lolabanola

Ah, I misunderstood you, sorry. I thought you were upset that he had associated with transgender people. I'm really sorry for so offensively misjudging you there.

Pootles2010 · 15/07/2011 14:40

Right i'm a bit more with you now... however you title is a little missleading "pissed off that my partner mingled with he shes" don't you think?

Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:41

Bigjessie, maybe i didn't explain myself well, I feel sorry for the transexual, i find my partner sick and seedy for doing this to this lady! Although the transexual looked fine with it in the pictures i find my partner disgusting for doing it

OP posts:
MrSpoc · 15/07/2011 14:41

I see this as a tricky question. Are they HE/SHE's or transgender?

I only say that because in Thia Land the HE/SHE's only have a sex change for money and not becaue they belive they should of been female

MrSpoc · 15/07/2011 14:42

TheBigJessie - i assume you are a real women???

Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:42

apologies for the title .... i should have put 'am i being unreasonable for thinking my partner is a dirty pervert who degrades people'!! - god, i'm so angry with him

OP posts:
Original poster
lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:44

MrSpoc, this is why i put he she, the person has had breast implants to get more money off punters, they still have a penis

OP posts:
electra · 15/07/2011 14:45

I don't think you are being unreasonable. If this were not a transexual everyone would be saying that it's cheating etc. And yet they are saying you have trans gender issues when they are the ones thinking it's ok because they see the person as a man.

Are you worried he did more than what was in the pictures?

Catslikehats · 15/07/2011 14:46

I would be be a) pissed off that my partner thought ridiculing anyone was acceptable and b) furious that he was enabling the sex trade.

PS if you believe your husband only touched a nipple you are deluded. Prostitues (and make no mistake that is what these bar workers are) do not permit people to assualt them for nothing. Your husband will have bought her drinks or others in his group will have bought her services.

If you find the sex trade amusing fabulous. I for one would not tolerate a partner who thought this was ok.

squeakytoy · 15/07/2011 14:46

Not all the ladyboys are prostitutes. Many work in the sex industry yes, but many others also work in cabaret, and other ordinary places in Thailand too. The correct name for them is Kathoey btw.

TheBigJessie · 15/07/2011 14:46

Well, it does sound as if it was pretty degrading- crowding around and treating the person like a giant walking Mickey Mouse on a trip to Disneyland. Especially the nipple-grabbing.

Course, he or she might have preferred being paid for photos by Western berks much more preferable and pleasant to sleeping with them, so...

TurnipCake · 15/07/2011 14:47

I'd be more upset at how immature and disrespectfully it sounds like it was done. Putting being in a relationship aside for a second, sex workers in whatever form are still people and deserve a lot more respect than they get. I know of people who expect immigrants to come here and be on their best behaviour yet the same people fly abroad and treat the world and its people like their personal playground.