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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off that my partner mingled with he shes in Bangkok?!

92 replies

lolabanola · 15/07/2011 14:29

My partner of 10 years went to Thailand a few months ago on a 'blokes holiday' to celebrate one of his friends birthdays, I didn't mind him going at all. Yesterday one of the friends put the holiday pictures on facebook. There was my partner grabbing a 'he - she's' boob, there is another one of him touching this persons nipple and another of him with his arm round a female prostitute smiling. He said the whole he - she thing was just a laugh and they were all in fits of laughter at the transexual ( yes they are very childish when together!), he said he was just talking to the female prostitute, I know in my own mind that he would never have sex with a prostitute. So, AIBU so be making his life hell since seeing the pictures? I personally find them sick and seedy, he says it was all done for a laugh ... what do you think?!

OP posts:

JanMorrow · 15/07/2011 16:31

I'd be seriously unhappy if I were you. He's demonstrating a lack of respect for a fellow human being, a pack mentality and immaturity.. and it's all on facebook as if they're proud of it? Jesus H Christ. What a douche bag.

Thingumy · 15/07/2011 16:38

He sounds a darling

heleninahandcart · 15/07/2011 17:56

YANBU Doesn't matter if its a male, female or transgender person, he was playing with someone's breasts in a sexual way. Also doesn't matter if it was for a laugh, its vile to do it in that degrading way and vile to think its funny.

His friends are established cocks and he went along with it which probably makes him a cock.

catgirl1976 · 15/07/2011 18:23

A "boys holiday" to Thailand. Hmmm. Intersting choice of destination. Still - you trust him soooooooooo........

Original poster

lolabanola · 15/07/2011 18:34

yes catgirl,i do trust him, thailand was for 3 days then they went elsewhere ... his activities in bangkok repulse me however

OP posts:

velveteenmummy · 15/07/2011 18:37

very brave of you to dare to ask a question loaded with bait for people to attack, I'm sure what or who your partner touched isn't the issue, it's the fact that he did touch another human being in an intimate way, (& you can never truly know how far it went) I understand your concern I would probably feel jealous and irritated by this behaviour if my bloke did it, just because I would feel that kind of behaviour should be exclusive within our relationship, you're obviously not overly jealous and selfish like some people I know otherwise you would have asked him not to go. YANBU he deserves a bit of earache. Sounds like a nice mate of his to have put it on facebook! (not)

Pandemoniaa · 15/07/2011 18:45

I'd be fairly underwhelmed at the whole idea of my dp going on a "bloke's holiday" to Thailand since it is obvious that this is some sort of sex tourism trip.

catgirl1976 · 15/07/2011 18:47

Have to say that was my first though too Pandemoniaa. Of course it doesn't mean it IS but...well...mm..

smallwhitecat · 15/07/2011 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

springboksaplenty · 15/07/2011 20:04

I must admit I would have been quite at my dh stopping in Thailand as part of a 'boy's' holiday. I don't think that I could get past the fact that the sex trade in Thailand is so rife, expecially in the context of boy's holiday, and I trust my dh completely.

Oh apparently ladyboys are seen as a third gender, similar to the Hijra of India, rather than male or female. Doesn't change the fact that even if your dh wasn't sexually turned on by the experience, he was in fact just gawping at another human being and viewing them as a 'freak'. That is what would upset me the most..

Indaba · 15/07/2011 22:00

my cousin has a good rule...."you can look all you want, but you can't touch"

BestNameEver · 15/07/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/07/2011 22:09

Do your friends never, ever, pose for group photographs with their mates which involve hugging, goosing, tweaking one another's nipples or playfully pretending to make sexual gestures to one another? I have loads of photographs of me and assorted pals grabbing each other and play-acting stuff like biting each other's bums or licking each other's faces - this is pissed-up pratting about. People get photographs of themselves hugging celebrities and put them on Facebook. It isn't necessarily degrading, insulting or abusing other people to touch them: you don't know that this wasn't a bunch of people, some of whom had met for the first time, getting drunk and mucking about in a way that did not involve having sex with one another.

Sidge · 15/07/2011 22:11

I think there's only one reason a group of men go on holiday to Thailand.

And it ain't for the temples.

springboksaplenty · 15/07/2011 22:14

Spring Personally no I don't have photos of me and my mates doing that but it is one thing to do it with your mates but I would say an entirely different thing to do it with a sex worker.

soymama · 15/07/2011 22:34

Dear OP, I hope your husband is as moral and loyal as you think he is. He is lucky to have you.

FreudianSlipper · 15/07/2011 23:21

yuk going on a blokes holiday to bangkok, makes my skin crawl it makes amsterdam look innocent it is so seedy, so nasty (look closer and you will see the prostitutes are full of bruises) full of creepy english guys and desperately sad. i hate teh fact i went to the shows, i helped keep these women in these horrible environment :(

its done now, i would not be happy, but i would not be happy with the holiday full stop

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