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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

babies last name.

376 replies

spookshowangel · 14/07/2011 16:38

i kept my husband last name after we separated and i intend to keep it. i met my husband when i was 17 and we were together for 10 yrs, married for 7. we have now been separated for 2. its the name my 3 children have and its my name as far as i am concerned, some people were quite surprised that i didnt go back to my maiden name but that wasnt me any more. so now i am pregnant with my new partner i intend to give the baby my last name. many people are shocked at this because ultimately it is my exH name. i explain to them that its my name but they think its quite wrong and dont think dp should or will stand for it (we havent discussed it yet). so mumsnet jury aibu to give my baby my married last name iyswim?

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:22

Right whatever imo still fucked up to give a child a name that is the name of your ex who isnt even the father! but thats my opinion which u did ask for opinions!!

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:23

I dont see what the huge deal is with your kids having a diff name to you, dont make them any less yours.

MsPlaced · 17/07/2011 17:25

You haven't read the thread, and you're talking about stuff you don't understand. Maybe you should find a thread you can grasp.

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:27

I dont need to read other peoples opinions to know what mine is!!!
and Im i dont give my kids names of guys that aint their fathers maybe thats what u cant grasp!!!!

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:28

Its not i dodnt understand it its that i dont think its right get it right!!!!

fedupofnamechanging · 17/07/2011 17:29

Teeny,some people just want their kids to all have the same name. There are practical reasons for the primary carer to have the same name as their child. Some women have had problems travelling abroad because the child has a different last name.

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:31

Oh well my kids will have diff name to me till i get married. i dont feel its a big deal or they are any less mine!

MsPlaced · 17/07/2011 17:32

no, you're talking about it not being legal and getting permission, so you obviously don't understand the issues. Hmm

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:33

Well all the same thats still my opinion!!

fedupofnamechanging · 17/07/2011 17:34

Well, if you are okay with that, then it's fine. Just that some people feel it's important to have the same name as their children or at least have one last name for all their children.

houseofheave · 17/07/2011 17:35

What if you don't get married?

What if your DP marries someone else? Then your children will have the same name as him, his new wife and any children that they have.

How would that feel?

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:36

Well personally i wouldnt name my child after my ex esp when he wasnt the dad. my kids may not have the same surname as me YET! but it does not mean the, are any less mine. and really weather your kids have the same name as you or not it means nothing (in gen)

Original poster
spookshowangel · 17/07/2011 17:37

teeny why do you feel that children should have their fathers names?

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:38

Thats total diff to me giving a new child my exs surname when its not his!!
weather your kids have same name as u or not its dont mean or prove anything!!

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:39

I didnt say they should i just feel its wrong to give your child a mans name that isnt there father!...if it was me id either give my maiden name or the fathers name.

Original poster
spookshowangel · 17/07/2011 17:39

so the baby not having the same surname as its dad will do no harm at all. is what your saying.

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:40

Plus if i got married and then seperated was in a new relationship i wouldnt personally keep on using my exs name.

Original poster
spookshowangel · 17/07/2011 17:41

i am not giving the baby my exs name i am giving it my name teeny.

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:41

yeah if it has its mums maiden name but not some guys name that isnt the father!!

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:42

But it is your ex name its only yours through marrage!!

Original poster
spookshowangel · 17/07/2011 17:42

thats your prerogative. just as it is mine to continue using the name i have used for 10 years, you may feel differently after such a long time who knows.

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:43

Its upto you but if i was me i would keep my married name when im not with the guy have a baby with another guy and give the baby my exs name who is ot the father!

Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:43

what do you mean i may feel differently after a long time

Original poster
spookshowangel · 17/07/2011 17:45

you are having a very hard time grasping this arent you. yes by marriage i choose this name. tell me if a wife has a husband and he dies is she suppose to stop using the name because it was only hers through marriage? or is it just because the marriage didnt work in your eyes i lose the right to use my legally given name?

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 17/07/2011 17:45

No i wouldnt feel differently i wouldnt feel like a OWN a name just cos i got married then seperated someone then give a baby who wasnt myexs his name! sorry

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