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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it sad only 3 parents showed up

240 replies

biddysmama · 13/07/2011 14:35

ds's school has an informal coffee afternoon for the kids with sen/ld so their parents can go in and see who will be working with their child and what they are doing/have done, they have things for younger kids to do aswell so you can talk and they tell parents how they are doing and what action atc being taken..... i went to it yesterday and out of 30 kids 3 parents went :(

i know not everyone can make it but i know some of the parents dont work (inc my neighbour who was definately at home)

their little faces as they came into the room and no one was there for them and my crazy pregnant lady hormones made me want to cry :(

OP posts:
wellamI1981 · 15/07/2011 19:30

:( at little faces

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 20:56

oh good gooseberry you can go to the next thing that I been asked to go to .allow yourself the whole day and make sure you sort out childcare for the other kids and sort out public transport as well .And when you get home please remmber thatdinner still needs cooking and cleaning up after .Then listern to two of them rwad books fit in 1 hr of physio/ot and handle bedtimes

Becuase sod cofee while you are doing all that for me ,I am nipping of down to the pub .which mums want to come join me Grin

2shoes · 15/07/2011 21:08

oh do fuck off with the sad little faces.
I went to an event at my dd's school today, all well untill I left she cried her fucking eyes out. now today was a big event and worth the bit of upset, but I know if she was like that every time I went to a coffee morning, I would stop going.
I do wish people would stop with the sad faces. they have take some comment from the op and turned it into a tragedy.
gooseberry your name is very apt

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 21:36

2shoes i take it that your joining me down the pub meet am hosting for all us neglectfull parents WinkGrin while the others go do all the appoinments /meetings/shows/cofee morning that we should attend

2shoes · 15/07/2011 21:56

i am there already, have got you a drink

wellamI1981 · 15/07/2011 22:04

You fuck off

thefirstMrsDeVere · 15/07/2011 22:07

Nice come back wellam

Hmm
Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:11

who's talking about coffee, not me

really 2shoes? how about - I don't think parents should bother to turn up for their kids' parents evening, fucking waste of everyone's time

are you happy now

Peachy · 15/07/2011 22:21

Funny thing is, I WAS at that play.

It wasonly after that i thought ah what is the point.

Likewise the helping at school. there'd literally be a queue formed of kids complaining to me about ds1. Oh I would take their complaints up with the Head but in the end it was Too Much.

I missed maybe 3 events in all my time- ds1 is 11 now. Two were clashes, not having a tardis there's sod all I can do!. The other I was in exams and I still felt like shite.

But yesterday dh left after 2 minutes as the toddler kicked off (and if he hadn't there'd have been a whole Mn thread no doubt...). DS1 still had no clue daddy missed it. This is because he won't go on stage anyay, he does the sound controls off stage. Which is lucky coz if DH hadn't been on a slow day i;d ahve had to leave after 5 minutes instead.

But it does do to eb aware of what having SN kids means in terms of appts. Monday we had SLT and a parent's evening; Tuesday IEP meeting (ds2), HV (ds4) and in the evening I ahd to discuss ds3's ability to join Cubs with them.. Wednesday EarlyBird Plus. Thursday school play....... it's hardly a surprise that I didn't get to join ds3's class on the school trip is it? And I didn't go to the one today I am afraid either, last child free morning before September so grabbed a bath and did some cleaning in preparation for the Great Descent.

Peachy · 15/07/2011 22:21

And I have got to fit in a rewrite of my revised methodology for my MA before the end of August as well .

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:26

sorry - why is this about school trips and coffee mornings?

parents' evenings

Peachy · 15/07/2011 22:27

Erm, days when I couldn't get in? Things I had to ditch.

it's coffee morning in the OP BTW not aprent's evenings. but the nature is irrelevant: it's a low level* school occasion.

*Compared to reviews, IEPs etc.

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:30

it's not a coffee morning it's an afternoon and review of work with the children

vastly different to a mum's coffee gab

haven't read all the thread but I bet it was the last hour before pick up, they usually are, so it's people not turning up an hour early for pick up

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:31

doesn't sound low level to me - sounds pretty important to the children

maybe it's just low level to the parents I guess

Peachy · 15/07/2011 22:35

Well last hour before pick up I would be at home waiting for the drop offs / to collect the otehr kids; by far the worst time of day IMO. Middle of day much better. Remember many SEN kids are taken by taxi / bus.

It is low level to me I am afraid because the entire meet the TA / review work / etc thing should be done IMO at the IEP meeting and statement review if there is one. I speak to our TA every day and to ds3's whenever I need; I am working with them at all levels and they know this, they know I am on board and fully supportive but sometimes cannot be there.

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:36

well gooseberry thats me stuffed i hardly ever pick ds3 up .Becuase i feel 3 and 1/.2 hrs home may be a tad to much for him .

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:37

same as peachy i attend Ar.IEP meetings and take ds to therpahy and sometimes you know what i am just to tired to be bothered so judge away you do not know me or my dc and do not have idea of what my life entails

Peachy · 15/07/2011 22:41

My schools don't even run coffee mornings or any other similar events LMAO and I am one level below those parents who are always in helping, all the kids know me.

Thread still annoying me though! Because I know when ds1 transfers to the SNU other sie of the city I am stuffed, as ds3's cab will pick up at the same time and ds4's nursery begin so no matter how much I really, really want..... nah. Be nice, but not having the required bacon slicer to shred myself into the needed portions, it won't happen.

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:42

do your children go to special schools if they're so far away and have to be taken by bus?

is there any indicator that this is anything but a normal local primary school where most people would live nearby?

are we supposed to invent reasons and excuses now, even when the likelihood is that this is a regular school within regular distance of people's homes, and it's the sen children within that school?

is this the same as assuming that anyone who behaves badly socially has mental health problems?

fatlazymummy · 15/07/2011 22:42

It said in the OP it was an informal coffee afternoon. Not a parents evening, statement review, school play or class assembly. IMO the children shouldn't have been involved in the 1st place, so they wouldn't have been disappointed.

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:44

sounds to me like the whole point of it was to involve the children and the coffee thing was built around it

are you a lazy mum?

fatlazymummy · 15/07/2011 22:46

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Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:46

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2shoes · 15/07/2011 22:46

Gooseberrybushes you seem hell bent on a ruck, if you have read the thread you will see lots of reasons for low turnouts, as the op was talking sen/sn most are about that. yet you seem to ignore that and just want to stir.
Why?

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:49

no I'm not hell bent on a ruck iether, just sitting here with a lap top

yes, there are reasons but 3 out of 30 - on an afternoon to see the children's work - in a regular school with a regular catchment?

it's like a big pretence that there aren't parents out there who don't give a shit

well there are and it's damn shame - have no intention of pretending otherwise