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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Called a woman an "evil bitch!"

202 replies

SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 13:40

Posted this in "other subjects" but didn't get a response in 4 minutes and I'm feeling impatient!

I was coming out of a car park earlier today and there was car in the lane next to mine. A woman was driving and a small child (2/3ish) was climbing about inside the car and not strapped in. I hate it when you see that as it's so stupid and irresponsible! A child around here died not that long ago in a similar situation. So anyway being a big mouth this happened . . . I honked my horn to get her attention and said -

me: strap your child in, that's dangerous and illegal
her: oh SHUT UP!
me: you EVIL BITCH! (top of my lungs! Blush)

Now I know some won't agree with the language but, well, I don't care about that. As far as I am concerned she is an evil bitch so why shouldn't I tell her I think so! One emergency stop and that child would either go though the windscreen or hit the dashboard (as the other child did) and break her neck Sad

Being called a bitch was getting off lightly when she came very closs to being beaten to death with my flip flop!!!

OP posts:
WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 15:05

SquiggleSplatMon 11-Jul-11 14:48:36

AlpinePony What I actually thought would happen is that most people would ignore the fact that the woman was endangering her kids life, and leap on the fact that I swore at her (if bitch is a swear word, not really sure), which is exactly what happened and what always happens on here. It's like MN users think there is no crime that can possibly be worse then swearing (shock horror). I can tell you though that a kid going flying through a windscreen at 100 miles an hour is definately worse then swearing.

bitch is an aggressive insult, to be sure.
MNetters think no crimes worse than swearing? that is a bonkers statement
100 miles an hour - faster than motorway limits, unlikely on your average high street?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 11/07/2011 15:05

Arf at the driving footwear criticism Grin

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 15:06

I think it is amazing (and quite shocking) how many people care more about not swearing or getting angry in public then then do the safety of a child.

A woman drives onto a busy road with a lose child in the car whilst playing with her mobile phone but I am unreasonable for swearing at her. Maybe we should just all give up and not bother watching out for each other anymore. Each man for himself!

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 11/07/2011 15:07

Just re read the opening post and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

"YOU CAN TOTALLY GET ARRESTED FOR WEARING FLIP FLOPS TO DRIVE."
"SHUT UP"
EVIL BITCH!!!!

I'm actually wet.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 11/07/2011 15:09

snooker loopy ha ha ha Grin

I agree with your reasons OP but if you scream and swear you willl always come out looking worse.

I take the PA approach too = scuse me do you know your child has got out of their seat? You can also add the MN staple PA expression 'I like your hair'

Educate, confuse and make someone feel pretty all in one go!

People who dont strap their kids in should be put in a big catapault and flung at great speed into a brick wall - just to see how they like it.

IroningBoardForSurfBoard · 11/07/2011 15:09

Squiggle
wtf are you on about now, woman?
people are concerned about a child's safety, but tbh, I'd be a bit Hmm at YOUR safety on the road if you chose to rant in the manner you've done here.

WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 15:10

squigglesplat - Op was not 'watching out' for her fellow mother, shoulder to shoulder into the fray...our daughters daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus.......

honking/shouting/insulting

WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 15:12

well said, MrsDV, well said.

may I add - I just found a live ant. In My Bra - Shock

altinkum · 11/07/2011 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BecauseImWorthIt · 11/07/2011 15:14

You are quite right and reasonable to be concerned about the safety of her child. You were even just about reasonable to attract her attention to it - after all, she may not have realised (doubtful). But to scream 'evil bitch' at her at the top of your voice is pathetic and juvenile definitely being unreasonable.

Catslikehats · 11/07/2011 15:17

No one is saying she was reasonable.

No one has indicated that they believe not swearing is more importnat that child safety.

The issue is that your reaction was simply not appropriate and achieved feck all.

If you want a hugzzz hun, you go babes response, you do know you are on the wrong site?

lambethlil · 11/07/2011 15:19

Chance of mother strapping her child in because of what you said=pretty low.

Chance of her strapping her in next time if you'd pointed it out quietly= a little higher.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 11/07/2011 15:24

whipme how sweet. Have you named him?

I would.

I had a budgie in my bra just a few months ago.

But he died Sad

Nigel x

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 11/07/2011 15:26

Firstly I can never understand people who don't care enough about their children to strap them into a car seat. They really don't deserve them if they are not going to protect them!
You should have started by saying, Do you know your child has escaped from it's car seat? Far less acusatory and gives her a chance to do the right thing. Then if she'd still ignored you I think OK, i'll report you to the police you evil cow would have been a bit better.
Screaming like a fishwife in never the answer. It might still be worth contacting the police, especially if the carpark has CCTV. A sharp warning from the police might in fact save her childs life.

InfestationofLannisters · 11/07/2011 15:27

Well. I have my test in a fortnight and this thread has been very useful in terms of car-park swearing etiquette. I'm not going to pass this time but when I do and start really learning to drive I now know about who the cunts are and to call them cunts too! Mumsnet really is not just entertainment but an education Smile

Ephiny · 11/07/2011 15:36

YANBU to be concerned and to say something. YABU to scream and swear at someone in public like that, I really don't see how that could possibly help the situation.

I don't think swearing is worse than someone endangering a child, of course it isn't, but also don't see how your behaviour did anything to help the child. Surely it made the woman less likely to listen to reason, and more likely to drive off as fast as she could to get away from the crazy screaming lady?

You should have spoken to her politely, and if she refused to listen, make a note of the car registration number and report to the police.

lovecorrie · 11/07/2011 15:45

I know I was in the wrong trying to go down a one way street. I wasn't aware it was a one way street. I immediately backed and apologized in a nice way, and I got abuse. I gave abuse back. I loathe ignorant road users. It was way ova the top and I'm not proud Blush but civility goes two ways.

lovecorrie · 11/07/2011 15:46

*ova? Oh dear 'over'.

VelvetSnow · 11/07/2011 15:48

started this post hours ago - I realise the thread may have moved on.

how many times do drivers need to stop to re-strap a toddler back into a car seat? I'd say on an average journey at least 3 times!

OP - YABU

The women may have been looking for a safe place to stop to re-strap toddler in, you are just assuming that she did not have this on her mind.

She was probably fed up and told you (quite rightly) to shut up for interfering.

And when you called her an evil bitch, don't you think that this could have caused the lapse in concentration one needs when driving anyone, let alone a small child.

I'd have been furious with you OP.

And lovecorrie - you sound charming, your fault entirely and you're wishing death on old ladies... Hmm

Why are car seats so easy to get out of btw - just a thought?

Ephiny · 11/07/2011 15:51

I suppose you need to be able to get the child out of the seat quickly/easily in an emergency, and that has to be balanced against difficulty of undoing straps to deter child from getting themselves out.

WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 15:52

easy to get out of so they can be undone in event of an accident?

Pagwatch · 11/07/2011 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Callisto · 11/07/2011 15:58

I'm amazed that so many people are defending/making excuses for the woman who had an unrestrained toddler in her car about to drive onto a busy road. And judging the OP because she swore at her about it? Wrong priorities going on here I think.

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 15:59

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife Firstly I can never understand people who don't care enough about their children to strap them into a car seat. They really don't deserve them if they are not going to protect them! You should have started by saying, Do you know your child has escaped from it's car seat? Far less acusatory and gives her a chance to do the right thing. Then if she'd still ignored you I think OK, i'll report you to the police you evil cow would have been a bit better. Screaming like a fishwife in never the answer. It might still be worth contacting the police, especially if the carpark has CCTV. A sharp warning from the police might in fact save her childs life.

Yes you are completely right, the less acusatory way would have been better, perhaps it was the fact that she was also playing with her mobile phone that tipped me over the edge (I have a quick temper as you may have guessed).

OP posts:
Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 16:00

Callisto I'm amazed that so many people are defending/making excuses for the woman who had an unrestrained toddler in her car about to drive onto a busy road. And judging the OP because she swore at her about it? Wrong priorities going on here I think.

Yep. MN swearing hysteria as usual.

OP posts:
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