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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Called a woman an "evil bitch!"

202 replies

SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 13:40

Posted this in "other subjects" but didn't get a response in 4 minutes and I'm feeling impatient!

I was coming out of a car park earlier today and there was car in the lane next to mine. A woman was driving and a small child (2/3ish) was climbing about inside the car and not strapped in. I hate it when you see that as it's so stupid and irresponsible! A child around here died not that long ago in a similar situation. So anyway being a big mouth this happened . . . I honked my horn to get her attention and said -

me: strap your child in, that's dangerous and illegal
her: oh SHUT UP!
me: you EVIL BITCH! (top of my lungs! Blush)

Now I know some won't agree with the language but, well, I don't care about that. As far as I am concerned she is an evil bitch so why shouldn't I tell her I think so! One emergency stop and that child would either go though the windscreen or hit the dashboard (as the other child did) and break her neck Sad

Being called a bitch was getting off lightly when she came very closs to being beaten to death with my flip flop!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:12

Oh and we were side by side so couldn't see her number plate. Plus I would have had to pull over to find pen and paper and there was no where to do that. The car park goes straight out onto a very busy road. If you are not prepared as you leave (kids strapped in) there is no further chance to do it.

OP posts:
altinkum · 11/07/2011 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IroningBoardForSurfBoard · 11/07/2011 14:14

she told you to shut up as a reaction to you shouting, not because she thought she was in the right. just the same reason you called her a bitch Hmm

you're digging a bigger hole now, YANBU for caring about someone elses DC not being strapped in, but YABU to shout it, through the car window and take mental notes of someone elses behaviour.

ShirleyKnot · 11/07/2011 14:14
SouthGoingZax · 11/07/2011 14:14

But did the yelling and swearing help, OP?

As others have suggested, taking her registration number and reporting her would have been much more useful, and would have endangered her child less. How do you think she drove after her run-in with you?

SouthGoingZax · 11/07/2011 14:16

Ah, I see you couldn't take her number.

I still think a calm approach would have been more productive.

stargazer83 · 11/07/2011 14:16

Squiggle If I give you her number will you shout at my SIL for me as I've tried talking to her and she never listen's?!
My 2 year old DN never wears he's straps and throws himself all over the car and has been known to over balance he's car seat before now :( At first SIL blamed her car seat saying the straps were broken and didn't do up any tighter yet after I bought her a new car seat she now say's he doesn't like having straps on. I'm sick of telling her her sons life is worth more than a peacefull life and if she cant be bothered transporting him safely then get the bloody bus with him.

Hmm perhaps theres a reason SIL and I dont get on very well [hgrin]

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:16

altinkum She wasn't parking, she was about to drive out onto the busy road. She was conpletely uninterested in the child lose in the car and was playing with her phone! I do know what the situation was as we were side by side in the queue for a while and I saw.

OP posts:
spiderpig8 · 11/07/2011 14:17

She wasn't on the highway.She was in a carpark driving at mph.The highway code doesn't pply to private land.In any case none of your goddamn business

iMemoo · 11/07/2011 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 11/07/2011 14:17

Still no need to swear at someone like that, especially in front of their child Hmm Also evil bitch? Really? Ignorant, daft, plain bloody stupid bitch maybe, but totally confused as to why this lady was evil?

Shock at Ilovecorrie can't believe anyone would behave that way! Were you pissed or something?!

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:18

stargazer83 Yeah sure! PM me her number Grin

OP posts:
StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl · 11/07/2011 14:18

How does she sound barking? She told the woman to strap her child in, because it is illegal and dangerous for the child to be climbing round inside the car - no-one is going to say that that was a barking thing to say. And maybe calling her an evil bitch was an overreaction, but how many people could have shrugged calmly and driven off without reacting, if someone clearly didn't care that their child was in such a dangerous position?

The woman was being grossly negligent and breaking the law - she was in a position to stop and strap the child back in, but seemed to have no intention of doing so whatsoever. It's unforgiveable.

As I said, calling her names was probably an overreaction, and a bad idea, but understandable in my opinion. With the chance to think about it coolly, the OP would probably have been better to have responded, "If you don't strap your child in, I will inform the police."

SouthGoingZax · 11/07/2011 14:19

Show her

Crash test showing secured vs unsecured infant in car crash.

Sad
Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:20

spiderpig She wasn't on the highway.She was in a carpark driving at mph.The highway code doesn't pply to private land.In any case none of your goddamn business

As I have said 2047 times she was at the exit by this point about to drive out onto a very busy road where there is no chance to stop. She was just about to drive under the barrier and once you are under you have to keep going. She was NOT going to strap that kid in! And none of my business!? If the mum isn't looking out for the kid then someone has to tell her how dangerous it is. I did she she told me to shut up. She didn't care!

OP posts:
MaxSchreck · 11/07/2011 14:20

Oh where, oh where has the love for our fellow humankind gone?

sad face

StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl · 11/07/2011 14:22

Spiderpig - do you realise how idiotic you sounded? The woman was about to pull out onto a busy road where she would not be able to stop and strap her child in. That makes it pretty damn clear that she had no intention of strapping her child in before hitting the public highway, so the fact that she was in a car park and moving slowly at the point where the OP first spoke to her, has absolutely bugger all to do with it!! This was her last option to make sure her child was strapped in before she was on a busy public highway.

iMemoo · 11/07/2011 14:24

So screaming "evil bitch" in front of her child helped how??

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:24

StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl Thank you! And yes exactly. If I'd had time to think about it I probably would have said something more appropriate.

It's so unfair as the child has no say in this, it's the parents reponsibility but if the child ends up paralysed they are the ones who will suffer forever because of it.

OP posts:
discobeaver · 11/07/2011 14:27

I think the OP was fair. In the heat of the moment I think evil was an appropriate adjective.
And I think I love Corrie took the only option available when faced with a pissed off cabbie, which is to swear until no more expletives are available in this universe or any other. I bet the cabbie secretly loved it anyway, they live for a ruck. The ones round here do anyway, they must or they wouldn't drive the way they do.

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:28

iMemoo So screaming "evil bitch" in front of her child helped how??

Well I suppose it helped in that she saw how strongly I felt about it. Who knows, maybe that will make her think more then if I had just driven off. This though is a woman who when I pointed out that her child wasn't safe told me to shut up. This isn't a woman who cared. It's unfortunate that those words were said in front of her child, rather that though then the child have a horrific accident.

OP posts:
discobeaver · 11/07/2011 14:30

Also screaming evil bitch might have helped, because she might have thought that if a total stranger could notice her unrestrained child, so might a policeman, who could fine her. So it might have helped loads.

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:31

discobeaver I think screaming evil bitch always helps! Think I might go do that right now . . .

[wanders off to garden to shout swear words]

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 11/07/2011 14:32

Staying - if someone called me an EVIL BITCH in front of my child I would go absolutely snooker loopy. It's a barking mad way to behave.

Original poster
SquiggleSplat · 11/07/2011 14:34

ShirleyKnot Not as barking mad as driving with an unrestrained child in the car. It's hardly a drop in the ocean compared to that.

OP posts: