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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is abusive

93 replies

fered · 10/07/2011 14:04

Have namechanged for this as it involves people other than me

Last night my brother and his girlfriend had a big row and she stormed out of their house. My brother went to bed, she came back later and he was asleep so she filled a bucket of water and threw it over him whilst he was asleep before going to sleep in their spare room.

OP posts:
oohjarWhatsit · 10/07/2011 14:05

of course it is, but its really up to them to deal with it

icooksocks · 10/07/2011 14:05

And?? Your post seems to have come to a very abrupt end.

CocoPopsAddict · 10/07/2011 14:06

Unless she regularly does things like this then no, I wouldn't call it 'abusive'. Not pleasant behaviour at all. BUT... do you know the full details of their row? I presume you have only heard your brother's side of the story?

Original poster
fered · 10/07/2011 14:06

icooksocks-They're still not talking to each other according to my brother, although he seems to see it as childish rather than abusive

OP posts:
LineRunner · 10/07/2011 14:07

I wouldn't put up with it if a partner did it to me.

It shows lack of control and comtempt, but yet a calculated sense of revenge.

Unless of course I'd been caught shagging someone else or had gambled the house away. Then I'd be grateful it was only water.

DogsBestFriend · 10/07/2011 14:07

It depends on whether it was deserved. A row over putting the bins out - abusive. A row over feeding the budgie to the cat - deserved.

Anyhow, surely your brother is a big boy and can sort things out for himself, can't he?

feckwit · 10/07/2011 14:08

I personally would see it as silly and immature, not abusive.

LadyThumb · 10/07/2011 14:11

Not abusive unless a regular occurence - but rather funny! She was clearly bloody angry!

Original poster
fered · 10/07/2011 14:12

dogsbestfriend- I'm not getting involved

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/07/2011 14:13

I wouldnt say it was abusive.. just childish.

burgerclub · 10/07/2011 14:14

Abusive. Obviously.

likale · 10/07/2011 14:16

I think it is abusive, having a bucket of (cold) water poured over you is horrific and very calculated, she sounds totally unhinged.

RedHotPokers · 10/07/2011 14:19

Childish but not abuse IMO.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 10/07/2011 14:21

Made me laugh Blush

EggyAllenPoe · 10/07/2011 14:23

abusive. he should walk. just no way that kind of behaviour is ok.

oohjarWhatsit · 10/07/2011 14:24

imagine if it was a woman saying her bf had done it to her

i think there would be different answers - and no one would dare say she may have deserved it! lol

piloi · 10/07/2011 14:27

Hideous behaviour and definately abusive. No matter what the rights and wrongs of the arguments were that is totally unacceptable behaviour. I'd be advising him to consider his relationship.

HelloKlitty · 10/07/2011 14:28

A guy did that to me once...we were up late arguing and I fell asleep eventually. So he poured a cup f cold water on my face.

He was actually an abusive, controlling bastard...when I eventually left hm, he stalked me for months. Put my family and friends through hell....e would sneak up to windows and peer through to try and spot me!

The cup of water thing happened before the restof the stuff...it shows desperation.

HelloKlitty · 10/07/2011 14:29

Oh yes....he also dumped me in he middle of nowhere and drove off! eft me for half an hour and then returned to find me....and slapped me....then drove off again...this was towards the end of the reltionship.

HelloKlitty · 10/07/2011 14:30

Sorry. This thread brought some memories back!

tokle · 10/07/2011 14:31

"It depends on whether it was deserved"- Is doing something like that ever deserved

garlicnutter · 10/07/2011 14:34

It's totally wrong and unreasonable (and made me laugh, which makes me wrong!)

Wonder who'd going to have to dry the bed out?

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 14:36

I wouldn;t call it abusive. Childish yes - abusive no. Of course if things like that are a regular occurence then it may have a more serious edge but as a one off of rare event, no its not abuse. Its silly.

surelynottrue · 10/07/2011 14:36

Reminds me of water boarding (which is a torture technique) and having a bucket of water thrown over you whilst your sleeping would have a similar effect (if she threw it in his face) you would be in a state of shock and struggle to breath since you would obviously breathe in the water cause you were sleeping. I am surprised people are saying he might deserve it or that it is actually funny....

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 14:37

My DH has done it to me acutally on one occasion. And I did deserve it. And no - he isn't abusive.

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