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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is abusive

93 replies

fered · 10/07/2011 14:04

Have namechanged for this as it involves people other than me

Last night my brother and his girlfriend had a big row and she stormed out of their house. My brother went to bed, she came back later and he was asleep so she filled a bucket of water and threw it over him whilst he was asleep before going to sleep in their spare room.

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 10/07/2011 17:29

I think oohjarWhatsit is right.

Ishani · 10/07/2011 17:29

It wasn't strong enough to do damage, didn't hurt him but not the bloody point imagine the boot on the other foot, it is actually assault.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 17:31

I don't think it is. I think it is some water. I really don't think that's abuse unless it is part of a more serious pattern of behaviour

Ishani · 10/07/2011 17:32

No really it's assault, throw a pint over someone in your local and you'd be arrested.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 17:37

If you threw a pint oversome in a pub and they pressed charges (as you wouldn't be arrested without someone pushing for it), I don't think it would be assault you would be charged with. More likely a public order breach.

unpa1dcar3r · 10/07/2011 17:42

No really it's assault, throw a pint over someone in your local and you'd be arrested.

Done that a few times an' all! Well they shouldn't have cheated on me.
Punched one or two too (girls as well as boys), well they shouldn't have thought they could snog me.

Such is life. You live n learn.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/07/2011 17:43

MigratingCoconuts

"i would quesion what he had done"

spin the sexes on that and she what you think

MigratingCoconuts · 10/07/2011 17:59

exactly the same....Boney. Its a bucket of water and not a punch.

creighton · 10/07/2011 18:03

it sounds cowardly to me, sneaking up on someone who is asleep and then assaulting them.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 18:05

Moistening them really..

Fifis25StottieCakes · 10/07/2011 18:07

Depends if he deserved a bucket of water in the face, until i hear the full story i couldnt possible say.

unpa1dcar3r · 10/07/2011 18:07

sounds cowardly to me, sneaking up on someone who is asleep and then assaulting them.

Oh I dunno. More fun than when they're awake Wink

ScarlettIsWalking · 10/07/2011 18:16

Vile thing to do. He should really find another partner.

AnyFuleKno · 10/07/2011 18:24

There was a post on MN about four months ago by someone who had thrown piss over here OH while he was asleep. She seemed to think it was hilarious Hmm

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 18:25

water not abuse. piss different story.

HarryPotheadLicksDobby · 10/07/2011 18:35

I thought it was pretty funny too, she should of filmed his reaction and put it on youtube [hgrin]

moikla · 10/07/2011 19:06

Abusive and if I were the OP I would do my upmost to get my brother kick her out the door.

unpa1dcar3r · 10/07/2011 19:18

Oh good Lord. I can't help thinking that many posters on here must have led very sheltered lives!
It was water FFS. So his pride mighta been hurt, sure he's big enough and ugly enough to deal with it.
If he aint, that's probably why she threw water at him in the 1st place Wink

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/07/2011 19:19

"If he aint, that's probably why she threw water at him in the 1st place"

Victim blaming 101

SpecialFriedRice · 10/07/2011 19:32

Abuse - no. Childish - Yes.

I fell asleep at the beach once and my sister tipped a bucket of sea water over my face. Was it abuse/bullying? No she thought it was hilarious, as did I once I got over the shock! But is it different because it was at the beach and could just be considered par for the course?

It was water, not piss or bleach or any other horrible liquid.

Can you imagine having a fight and being totally seething and perhaps coming home totally wound up expecting to confront someone only to find them happily snoring away like there's nothing wrong?

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/07/2011 19:45

So doing something to someone to make them feel bad, whilst making you feel better is ok then?

Sounds like bullying to me.

And remember this was done in spite, not in fun.

janewa · 10/07/2011 19:58

I think its abusive and it needs to be treated seriously and he needs to tell her how unacceptable it was. It sounds like she stormed off and plotted a way to get at him, this is an act of someone who sounds to have issues.

unpa1dcar3r · 10/07/2011 20:09

So doing something to someone to make them feel bad, whilst making you feel better is ok then?

Yep absolutely!

unpa1dcar3r · 10/07/2011 20:11

It was a row remember, not like she just walked in randomly and threw water at him.
We all do stupid things when rowing but this was actually pretty harmless in the great scheme of things.
I threw a money box at my ex husband once when young, He did deserve it, he'd got incredibly drunk and called me a name I won't mention. He still bares the mars bar on the back of his head and all his workmates said serves him right!
He lived (unfortunately)

janewa · 10/07/2011 20:14

"I threw a money box at my ex husband once when young, He did deserve it"- No-one deserves violence