to think this is abusive

[fered]

Have namechanged for this as it involves people other than me

Last night my brother and his girlfriend had a big row and she stormed out of their house. My brother went to bed, she came back later and he was asleep so she filled a bucket of water and threw it over him whilst he was asleep before going to sleep in their spare room.

He did, he's an alkie arsehole. Even his wife says that and she was my ex best friend. She's divorcing him now!

In fact he needs a frigging great kick up the jacksie, stupid git.
I'll leave her to do that though, aint my problem anymore!

Just because someone is an alcoholic and unpleasant doesn't doesn't mean they should be a victim of assault.

Oh shut upppp Janewa
He deserved it, he was a dick, he still is a dick (before alcoholism he brought cocain into the house he shared with me and his baby daughter and thought I was a dick when i threw it down the sink) He led me and my daughter thru hell n back. And all he has to show is a tiny little mars bar on the back of his horrible bonce.
He got off lightly. He knows it, I know it and his wife of the moment knows it too.

unpa1d- Someone calls you a name so you think its right to throw an object at their head

you sound a charmer

If you had thrown my coke down the sink I would be jolly annoyed too. It's not cheap you know.

i think it could be some one off childish response when cross out or part of an ongoing abusive relationship - depends on the context/background really. how do they get on normally?

I had an ex that did this, I forgave him and a couple of months later he punched me so I kicked him into touch. I f I were you OP I'd be having strong words with your brother.

unpa1d- Someone calls you a name so you think its right to throw an object at their head

Yep!

you sound a charmer

I am charm personified. Until you piss me off.

If you had thrown my coke down the sink I would be jolly annoyed too. It's not cheap you know.

Hoorah Catgirl, at last someone who knows tongue in cheek when she sees it! Go Catgirl!!!

I think its terrible and would keep a very close eye on him. Victims of domestic abuse often feel trapped and there is still a large stigma around male victims of it which excerbates it. I don't understand why some people think its funny in any way.

abusive is:

Once had a bf that had a text from some woman while we were sitting in one night. He was a big collecter of model china chefs (he was a chef himself).

I went into the kitchen dragged every chef down from the shelves and smashed every single one on the driveway with him watching me :) great satisfaction for me .... abuse to the chefs :)

Going back to the bucket of water, childish not abusive

Bloody hell sunshinelifeisgood !

Hope your partner never goes to the extent of having an affair. God knows what you'd do then if that's how you respond to a text off some woman!

What does the brother think it is? Funny, abusive, or what?

sunshine: that was a climax to a very long and boring relationship :) he took the mickey so many times and I put up with it. Must admit have never done that sort of thing since and do feel a bit guilty about the poor little chefs, hope they are in a nice place, cos the last time I saw them they were in my bin :)

The word "abusive" is one of those that is so vague to be used for anything from speaking in anger, losing your temper, swearing, threatening violence to actual violence. I've seen it used to mean one of the former while implying one of the latter.

That said, throwing water on someone is not a nice, mature or reasonable thing to do.

Its was abusive and calculated to be so.

of course it isnt abuse. sometimes i think people forget what abuse it, this clearly not.

also stop caring about what your brother and his girlf do when they row, not your business

If it was boiling water, obviously very abusive. A one off bucket of cold water is childish, imo, rather than abusive. And destructive.