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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think that mate selling wedding dress so shortly after wedding strange?

203 replies

Wamster · 10/07/2011 09:25

My mate married last October in a full-on white wedding. I spoke to her friday and she announced she was now selling dress. It is a beautiful dress - a proper fairytale number. AFAIK, there are no financial difficulties. I worry for my mate as I think this is a bit strange. aibu? Not thread hitting and running, just going out and won't be able to get back to thread for a while.

OP posts:
happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:35

Aren't a lot of women a bit like that thought about their wedding dress? All part of the wedding madness that people get caught up in. From what you've said it just sounds like she's emerging from that.

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:35

Though FFS not thought! God what is wrong with my spelling!

Catslikehats · 10/07/2011 13:36

OP you are starting to sound a bit odd.

Do you suspect there is something up because of some other undisclosed behavior or are you just madly speculating?

It sounds a bit like you would like her to be in some sort of trouble Confused

FWIW I have just remembered that for the first 3 years after my wedding, my gorgeous wedding dress hung on the side of my armoire - they looked beautiful together Blush and I just liked looking at it Blush Blush

Shock horror that when I finally happened to put it away my "friends" may have been speculating about teh state of my marriage Shock

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 13:36

Hmm.

Wamster, sorry, but I think unless you have any other reason to think something is up, I think you need to consider a bit more how this resentment you're now admitting to is colouring your feelings. I feel a bit sorry for your 'friend' - does she have any idea how you feel?

Original poster
Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:38

LadyThumb, Sorry if I am incorrect, but I cannot imagine somebody just throwing their dress away unless marriage had gone wrong.

OP posts:
happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:38

You don't sound like you like her very much, that's for sure.

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/07/2011 13:38
happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:39

I think my marriage must be doomed, as I actually checked out wedding dress prices on ebay before I got married and saw that unless you sold them the same year, they went for peanuts. I was already planning to sell it as I walked up the aisle!

Original poster
Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:40

Putting it away is not the same as flogging it for a few quid, and you have said yourself, TheQueenofDenial, that you did have much affection for the dress.

OP posts:
Morloth · 10/07/2011 13:44

I had a 'fairytale' wedding, full on medieval dress with the silly sleeves, creaking corset, the lot. A big fuss, was excellent.

Rented most of it including the dress. It was wonderful but just a dress and not one I was ever going to wear again so what would be the point? I gushed about my dress and still love the photos, the moment I put it on I knew it was exactly right.

I kept the husband and haven't thought 'Gee I wish I still had a dress I would never wear again around...'

Original poster
Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:47

OK, seems that I was incorrect to think that women these days have any great affection/fondness for their 'fairytale' dresses. They clearly do not. Or, rather, it's just something to be sold later on. From what I have learnt here, a wedding dress is all about show and is not deemed to be anything to be kept forever.

OP posts:
Catslikehats · 10/07/2011 13:48

Of course it might not be a "few quid". The shop where I bought mine said they would buy it back for £1500 after the wedding provided I didn't spill red wine etc down it. i didn't take them up on the offer because I am stupid a sentimental fool Grin

I kind of regret it when I see it being trashed by DD

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 13:49

Erm, yes? What did you think a huge white dress was for if not show? Grin

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:50

I don't see the difference between a wedding dress/bouquet/table decorations/invitations/cars etc etc. Isn't it all, ultimately, for show?

Morloth · 10/07/2011 13:51

Wamster 'a wedding dress is all about show '

Yup, that was how I viewed mine.

The wedding was a fun day of dress ups for me. The marriage had already been agreed upon and the real committment made way before we stood in a church and signed some papers.

Renting the dress also meant I could afford a wildly expensive one for a day, same sort of thinking as happygilmore.

I do still have the veil and the head dress in a box somewhere if that helps. Wink

TrillianAuror · 10/07/2011 13:52

seems that I was incorrect to think that women these days have any great affection/fondness for their 'fairytale' dresses

Some do. Others do not. Doesn't mean they are getting ready for a divorce.

Morloth · 10/07/2011 13:55

I don't know if I count as 'these days' anymore, was almost 13 years ago now.

Ponders whether DH would consider playing another game of dress ups renewing our vows.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 14:01

Morloth your dress sounds great!

I slightly regret I went for a sensible, white, simple one - it looks great in the pictures but it's not very dramatic. Mind you I tried on some that would just have made me giggle too much in church ... I'm not good at taking things seriously at the best of times.

Original poster
Wamster · 10/07/2011 14:01

TrillianAuror, Well that's the most sensible view here. Obviously, if a woman does attach significance/emotions to a dress then getting rid of it may very well be a sign that all is not well. If they do not, you can't see it as sinister.

But my friend is the sentimental sort, so perhaps things are a bit shaky in the marriage.

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 14:03

brick, meet wall.

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 14:05

So the only evidence you have that their marriage is in trouble is because she's selling her wedding dress and is a "sentimental sort"?

Morloth · 10/07/2011 14:07

I had bruises on my ribs afterwards, it was the sort that required the 'knee in the back' type thing for getting into, going to the loo was a team effort.

My goodness it was fun.

I do have a dress I view sentimentally, it is a black velvet jobby that I wear to gaming conventions, it has expanded and contracted with me for almost 20 years, 75 kilos and a couple of pregnancies and still looks good.

It has been let in and out, relined, repaired and had bits replaced so many times over the years that there probably isn't that much of the 'original' dress left.

LRD I didn't take my wedding day seriously at all, we had fun, was a very strange mix of bogan and goth. Happy Days.

Laquitar · 10/07/2011 14:08

People have got more and more pragmatic because of the recession and because of the high mobility.

YABU sorry

Original poster
Wamster · 10/07/2011 14:10

happygilmore, Um, yeah, but that is just called perception. You should try it sometime.

OP posts:
Morloth · 10/07/2011 14:11

If you are so certain you are right, why did you ask?