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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to think that mate selling wedding dress so shortly after wedding strange?

203 replies

Wamster · 10/07/2011 09:25

My mate married last October in a full-on white wedding. I spoke to her friday and she announced she was now selling dress. It is a beautiful dress - a proper fairytale number. AFAIK, there are no financial difficulties. I worry for my mate as I think this is a bit strange. aibu? Not thread hitting and running, just going out and won't be able to get back to thread for a while.

OP posts:

DramaInPyjamas · 10/07/2011 10:59

Yabu. I don't see the problem.

greycircles · 10/07/2011 11:03

Some people like to hang on to stuff, some people don't.

Neither me nor DH still own anything we wore to our wedding (only 10 years ago) and we haven't kept either of the kids' first clothes or shoes or anything like that. I HATE clutter and think that if I can't/won't/don't use something then it must go out of my house!

However, having said that, I wonder if your mate is that sort of person of not. If she is generally keeping sentimental items then it might suggest a problem if she doesn't keep this. Or maybe she just doesn't have the space?

eurochick · 10/07/2011 11:04

YABU. Lots of people sell their dresses.

I've kept my simple unfussy dress because I have a thought to get it dyed and turned into an evening dress, although I somewhat doubt it will ever happen!

AuntiePickleBottom · 10/07/2011 11:04

i got married may just gone, and my wedding dress is doing my head in it takes up all the floor in my walk in wardrope with is pretty big.

sausagesandmarmelade · 10/07/2011 11:05

Lots of people do it...
It's rather a shame that so many wedding dresses get boxed up and stay at the bottom of the wardrobe forever.

Couldn't part with mine yet....but I know that a lot of brides do. After all, apart from anything else, they do take up a lot of space.

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 12:48

happygilmore There is no need to be insulting; really there is not. It is a genuine question. And, yeah, I'm happy to be told that I am being unreasonable, but I really don't think it is particularly odd to wonder if this is strange and all; not with the frankly massive fuss that was attached to her wedding day and everything. She was a bit of a bridezilla.

So, yeah, tell me that it is a commonplace thing to do, I don't mind, I am surprised given all the absolute fuss made about the big day (wedding) that people sell their dresses- still find it a bit strange, but given the absolute fuss that was made, I really did think she would keep it forever.

Jeez, I don't think I am actually being unreasonable to wonder.

OP posts:

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 10/07/2011 12:50

eh? YABVU. Totally fine, as far as I'm concerned.

I cut the hem off mine, ripped off the lace, dyed it green and re-used it a couple of times.

I honestly don't see the problem.

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 12:52

greycircles, I understand what you are saying about being a sentimental person and all, but then I think if you are the UNsentimental sort do you have such an unpractical, fairytale dress to start with?

I guess what I am trying to say is that if I were the type to have such a fairytale dress, I wouldn't sell it unless financially desperate or things had gone badly wrong in marriage.

OP posts:

lubberlich · 10/07/2011 12:57

Fairy tale? Barf.
It is just a frock. An overpriced one. Seems sensible to flog it before it gets too motheaten.

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 12:59

lubberlich Well, yes, in my view it is just a frock. But to her it clearly was not. She used to just gaze at it and say how beautiful it was.

OP posts:

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:03

But what does it matter what you would do? I thought my wedding dress was stunning, but sold it because I'm hardly going to wear it again and would prefer to have the money. I thought it was nice that someone else got to wear it.

I stand by what I said earlier, which I don't think was mean at all - it is odd to care about this. You even suggested that there was something wrong in their marriage/lives because she sold her wedding dress from 9 months ago! That is odd!

lubberlich · 10/07/2011 13:03

She used to just gaze at it and say how beautiful it was

But isn't that what brides are supposed to do? Otherwise why piss away good money on a bunch of overpriced lacy meringue?

iMemoo · 10/07/2011 13:05

I think you're a bit odd for even giving this a second thought tbh.

thursday · 10/07/2011 13:05

mines hanging on the back of a door in my mums spare room, where its been since the day after the wedding. if i thought anyone would buy it i'd sell it. it would probably cost me more to get cleaned than i'd get though. not sure what else to do with it....

makes perfect sense to sell it whilst its still in fashion.

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:08

happygilmore With respect, I do not mind being told that this is what brides do nowadays, however, I maintain absolutely that I am not odd to actually think that something is up because of it.

For heaven's sake, nobody sold their dresses 20 years ago! Or, they had a practical suit/dress they could wear at other occasions. Tell me I'm living in the past and times have moved on by all means, but I'm no weirdo for thinking it strange when I first heard of it!

lubberlich, yeah, nothing wrong with falling in love with a dress, but a bit off to flog it for a few quid if you're that in love with it, isn't it? Perhaps people are just fickle/ desperate for cash/ fallen out of love with dh's.

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tyler80 · 10/07/2011 13:11

Well 30 years ago my mum hired a wedding dress

Tell me what that indicates about the state of relationship?

Buying/hiring/selling wedding dresses are absolutely no indication of the strength of a relationship and YABU

exoticfruits · 10/07/2011 13:13

People didn't spend a fortune on dresses 20 yrs ago. It makes sense to sell them now-and as quickly as possible.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 10/07/2011 13:13

Wamster, I think you should be careful in extrapolating the outcome 'there's something up' just because she has sold the dress?

You might be right, totally, I don't disagree with that, but equally, if I am typical of some people - which I must be, odds on.... - then I am happily married but totally unattached to physical things like that, so selling it would just not be a biggie IMO.

Has she done/said/acted in any other way to make you think there are isshoos in the marriage?

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:14

at with respect. You posted on a public board, so the deal is you get opinions, it just seems that none are the same as yours..

Why on earth would selling a wedding dress be because you'd fallen out of love with your DH? That is not just odd, it's a full on bonkers statement, with respect.

soverylucky · 10/07/2011 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lubberlich · 10/07/2011 13:15

Perhaps people are just fickle/ desperate for cash/ fallen out of love with dh's.

It is just a frock FFS.
It doesn't mean you suddenly hate your old man because you sell your wedding dress.
And if she is a bit skint and needs the money what the hell has it got to do with you?
Your interest in this is really rather creepy.

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:15

tyler80, I think it most certainly can be an indication of the strength of a relationship as a lot of brides attach enormous significance to the wedding day and all its accompaniments. The dress is seen as some kind of a symbol of the marriage. I don't feel like this myself but appreciate that others do.

Now, yeah, if people are practically minded -as I am- this may very well Not be the case. But if they do attach significance to the dress, then I think it is fair to say that getting rid of the dress may be significant.

OP posts:

happygilmore · 10/07/2011 13:16

I can honestly say I have never met anyone who saw their wedding dress as a symbol of their marriage.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 10/07/2011 13:17

oh FFS will you answer the question - is there anything else going on in their marriage? Otherwise you leave yourself wide open to the comments others are making. I'm starting to think this is weird now - what else makes you think 'something's up?'.

This is a thread that's turning in on itself...more facts/info would be helpful, otherwise it's an argument that will go round and round!

Original poster

Wamster · 10/07/2011 13:18

happygilmore, you are bonkers if you lack the imagination to even consider that getting rid of a wedding dress may be a sign of a marriage breakdown. Not to say that it always is a sign, but that it may be.

A number of my friends have flogged their wedding rings and engagement rings when they've decided to divorce.

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