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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable in regards to 5 yr old dds sleep?

97 replies

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:08

DD is being a nightmare with her sleep at the moment. Its been going on for weeks, several times out of bed almost every night. Any way we have been out off bed 6 times in the space of 10 minutes so far tonight so i have given her 3 warnings which she has ignored telling her if she is out of bed again she isnt going to a party tomorrow (calmly but firmly). Dp who was asleep through it all decided to wake up and tell me I wasnt being fair and its not fair on the birthday child and the one I am given a lift too (can still do this and just not leave dd there).

Am I being unfair? I have tried everything else including a sleep fairy. (Last night (friday) was the first time in weeks she didnt get up!!!)

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 10/07/2011 01:11

I don't think this is a punishment job. It's a 'bored disengaged physically lead her back to bed every single time' job.

HowlingBitch · 10/07/2011 01:11

What age is DD? (You do not soing like you are BU to me so far)

ll31 · 10/07/2011 01:13

yep I wouldn't punish - think this is just one of normal things that u have to keep getting her back to bed - but - I wouldn't think its something u'd punish, just something u'd deal with... sometimes I think there's too much tendency to punish on these boards...

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:15

Don't ban her from the party tomorrow! Noooooo!

There lies madness.......

Do what bitoffun says, the bored-lead-her-back-to-bed thing. Over and over. It will work. It will get better. Really.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:16

Trouble is I mainly, dp usually asleep, have been putting back to bed for weeks and its not working, I dont engage in too much conversation just enough to say back to bed. And put her back to bed. Since saying it she hasnt got up once more yet.
Its not something I would have ever thought of punishing before either but just dont know what to do and found myself saying it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:18

Linerunner have been doing the back to bed thing for weeks and no signs of improvement yet. If you guys think I was wrong I will speak to her in the mornig, tell her Mummy was tired and is sorry and she can go to the party (dont want her thinking I wont follow through with things through).

OP posts:

ll31 · 10/07/2011 01:19

well foxy800 if its worked - congrats!!!!

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:20

I think you will be punishing too many people, including yourself actually, if you do in fact ban her from going to the party.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:22

Trouble is i guess now I am awake as cant go back to sleep I am realising I dont have something to take away every time which is nearly every night. And it is grating me slightly that dp dared to have a go when I have been the one up and down to her!!!

Even been to gp not that that helped!!!

OP posts:

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 10/07/2011 01:24

Unless she's just poked her head around the door, your threat seems to have worked, but the problem is what will you use as a potentential punishment anincentive tomorrow night?

Best keep any notion of 'punishment' out of the sleep equation in future, and praise your dd later this morning for being such a good girl last night without any reference to what might have happend if she hadn't stayed in bed.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:24

As I lie here more and more awake linerunner I am thinking the same. Do you think what I suggested saying will work though or will I be making a rod for my back in terms of later punishment and need to rephase it?

OP posts:

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:27

Unfortunately we are out of bed again!! So it hasnt worked.

OP posts:

HowlingBitch · 10/07/2011 01:27

Sorry about the spelling! buggering Ipad. Sound*

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:28

If I were you, I'd let her go to the party but try to keep the power over the situation.

(She may not even remember what you said in the morning.)

I would say that 'Mummy has decided that you will be going to the party but that in return for this you are to go to bed tonight and from now on like a good girl' (or suitable words to that effect).

Your largesse.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:28

DD is 5 and this has been going on for weeks. Im exhausted!!!

OP posts:

HowlingBitch · 10/07/2011 01:29

What is she asking for at the minute? (Real time help! The joy of MN!)

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:30

Will give that a go, although going to be a long night I think as dp snoring next to me and she has got up again!!!

OP posts:

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:30

Poor Foxy. I feel for you.

Just keep taking her back to bed. Don't talk to her. Just lead her there and then go.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:31

Thats the thing she doesnt ask for anything, the first time she is up she usually goes to the toilet but then she just comes into our room and is put straight back to bed each time.

OP posts:

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:31

I wonder if she can hear her daddy snoring?

Just a thought. Not necessarily as a disturbance but as a kind of lure.

Kids are weird.

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:33

Thats what I am doing but thanks.

Not that I have anywhere to go I am so tempted to go away for a night and leave dp to deal with her all night then let him comment on what I am doing as that really grates me when he sleeps through most of it and then comments on what I am doing but that is another thread.

OP posts:

HowlingBitch · 10/07/2011 01:34

I have read your posts before and you seem really in tune with children! How on earth do you do it?

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:34

Dont know but she even gets up when he isnt snoring as it depends how he is lying as to whether he snores!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Foxy800 · 10/07/2011 01:37

At the moment I dont know how I do it, will work 3 days a week, looking after her, the nighttimes etc I am constantly exhausted!!! (Dp thought cause she slept all night for 1 night I would be full of energy this evening when he got home!!)

Thanks for your comment howling!! Its nice to hear as not feeling a good mum at the moment!!

OP posts:

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 01:38

Who, me??

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