Am I being unreasonable in regards to 5 yr old dds sleep?

[Foxy800]

DD is being a nightmare with her sleep at the moment. Its been going on for weeks, several times out of bed almost every night. Any way we have been out off bed 6 times in the space of 10 minutes so far tonight so i have given her 3 warnings which she has ignored telling her if she is out of bed again she isnt going to a party tomorrow (calmly but firmly). Dp who was asleep through it all decided to wake up and tell me I wasnt being fair and its not fair on the birthday child and the one I am given a lift too (can still do this and just not leave dd there).

Am I being unfair? I have tried everything else including a sleep fairy. (Last night (friday) was the first time in weeks she didnt get up!!!)

[AlabamaWorley]

Good luck Foxy. Let us know how it goes. Sorry no advice, but I am keen to find out your solution.

My DS is two and still in his cot. But he has been ready for a big boy's bed for ages, so after our holiday (where there is a cot, not a bed for him), he is going into a big bed, which i know he will love. However, I am so worried that he will just get out of bed and wander about. He wouldn't go to sleep the other night and asked to go into the spare bed. I put him there and told him to go to sleep. He appeared in the kitchen 20 minutes later and I jumped out of my skin, as I didn't expect him!

[Catsu]

My ds is 5 and has a tendency to do this too. We have a deal now where he doesn't have to sleep or stay in bed if he can't sleep but he MUST stay in his room with the door shut and read or play quietly.
He's got very good at turning off hos light and going to sleep in his own time now.
Would she bd happy with something like that? If she doesn't actually ask for anything when she gets up and is happy to be led back to bed then perhaps she just can't sleep and is bored like my ds?

[CoteDAzur]

I didn't say "punish". I said "get increasingly angry".

We have a 5 year old. She wakes up and calls us when she has a nightmare or doesn't feel well. That is completely fine.

But OP's daughter gets up several times every night. That is taking the piss and would not be tolerated chez Cote.

[HelloKlitty]

Well getting angry is pointless and to a 5 year old will certainly feel like a punishment. I get angry when they hit each other or break things....not when they can't sleep! The OPs child obviously has some uresolved issue...tired kids who are settled just go to sleep! 5 year olds don't stay awake out of naughtiness!

[CoteDAzur]

Nope, I don't buy "can't sleep" every night and several times a night. That is taking the piss. Enabling this also perpetuates it, as sleep patterns are mostly habit. If you wake up and walk around at 2 AM for a week, you will continue to wake up around that time.

I didn't say there is much of a difference between mum getting angry and "punishment". What I said was that I wouldn't throated additional punishment like not going to a birthday party, because seeing her parents angry for being repeatedly woken up in the night for no good reason would be enough.

[Foxy800]

Outrageous, it is a good suggestion but she remembers it all in the morning.


Thanks amistillsexy, have been trying to get him to do more for years!!! He does deal with her if he is awake but it is near on impossible to wake him when he is asleep, its actually quicker to put her back to bed myself.

Thanks catsu I have tried telling her she can do this before but she still comes to us!! We had a chat this morning and she said she gets up for a wee then for nothing.

Helloklitty, by getting angry I mean changing the tone in my voice when putitng her back to bed, I start with a quick wee then back to bed, telling her she is going back to bed then getting firmer each time. I will be honest I have shouted in the past but try desperately not to do that.


Thanks everyone for your replies.

[Coralanne]

My DGD was getting up during the night and taking her blanket and sleeping on the lounge.

Her room is at the back of the house and one night she saw a great big black cat walking along the fence. She was too scared to stay in her room after that.

Is there anything bothering your DD? Maybe it's something small that you can chat to her about.

I found a book that my DD used to love when she was small called "John Brown, Rose and the Midnight Cat". We read it together and talked about how we are both slightly afraid of cats (I really am, even at my age).

DGD had her bed moved from one side of the room to the other and her 3 year old sister now shares her room with her. Everyone is happy and the whole house gets a good nights sleep.

Just to add, I have never spoken to anyone about my fear of cats, so DGD didn't get it from me.

DGD just happened to be looking at the full moon through the window and the cat stopped and looked at her. If the moon hadn't been full, she would have never seen the cat as the back fence is quite a distance from the back of the house.

[Foxy800]

We have blackout blinds and curtains in her room, and her window shut so dont think it is anything like that. She has never said she doesnt like anything in her room. Thanks for the suggestion though.

[Foxy800]

Thank you everyone for your replies and suggestions.

[SoloAgainItSeems]

I was going to suggest moving her room round. But I was also wondering if she could be being disturbed by 'someone' (think spirit) in her room as you say this started when you moved house.
Another thought is if she is waking for a wee, maybe cut out the drink that's waking her up for a wee in the irst place?

[SoloAgainItSeems]

first place.

[Foxy800]

Thanks. She says there is isnt anything in her room she doesnt like and she often wakes saying she needs a wee but doesnt always go. All she has is a little milk as part of her bedtime routine. Thanks for reply though.

[differentnameforthis]

What has changed in the last 2 weeks?

Could she be sleep walking? (dd2 does)

She wants your attention...have you asked her why?

What does she tell you when she comes into you?

Tell her, If she doesn't want to sleep in her bed, maybe she needs the cot back? (that worked on dd1 @4)

Don't take her back to bed. Send her. Stop getting angry, that's as good as talking nicely to her.

[differentnameforthis]

Sorry not last two weeks, what happened at the start of this behaviour?

[Foxy800]

Nothing different has happened that I can pin point. Cant just send her as she will just stand there, she is extremely stubborn!!!

Have had chats with her, not at night, and she says she doesnt want anything. tried cot idea too, sorry if i sound negative but have tried it, thanks for suggestion.

[Foxy800]

Just wish I could work it all out as I have noticed the less sleep she has the more of a nightmare her behaviour is (have dropped her at the party so have tiem to chat on here for a bit).

[RandomMess]

My dd that used to wake several times per night for no reason (she actually just used to ask if it was morning yet) had too much adrenalin, we sorted that out and she started going to sleep earlier and not waking up during the night.

The other thing that helped was when she learnt to read as she could read in bed for half an hour before she went to sleep :-)

anyway here is a link about retained reflexes which can cause too much adrenalin producion

I've linked to the screening questionnair but read around the whole site it's interesting stuff. Certainly my dd realy only had sleep and upper/lower body co-ordination rather than other concerns if that makes sense

www.inpp.org.uk/questions/index.php

[Foxy800]

Thank you so much, will have a look as that is usually what she says, is it time for my bunny eyes to open?

[RandomMess]

and is she absolutely wide awake and rearing to go? Mine was, I used to feel like throttling her!!!!

Also she never seemed to drift to sleep was wide awake and chatting and then used to pass out.

The test for too much adrenalin is definitive, to do with the way your pupils dilate.

[Foxy800]

Have had a good look, does it cost anything to send the questionaire?

Dd is currently being assessed by different people at school and is under a speech therapist, paediation and is going to see an occupational therapist on monday. We have speech issues, eating issues, concentation and attention etc, as well as the sleep issues which are now leading to behaviour issues!!! Sounds awful when you write it all down!!!Makes me wonder if Im doing anything right!!!

[Foxy800]

She comes into us abd we put her back to bed, if we let her into our bed she will go back to sleep but I bet if we said fine we will get up she would get up!!!

[RandomMess]

No idea as I saw someone qualified in INPP but isn't registered with them but often recommend the site as it's very informative.

In a nut shell though YES I think that treatment either through one of their practioners or one of the different bodies for treating neuro developmental delay will help hugely.

Where abouts do you live?

[RandomMess]

How many yes' did you have one the quetionnaire?

[Foxy800]

Im in Surrey.