to be upset at this children's party?

[sadaboutthismum]

I'm not sure if I am or not .
DD came home tonight and told me, very matter of factly, that a child in her class is having a year 6 leavers party and disco at his house. He was giving out invitations this week in front of the children who have not been invited. Two teachers are going aswell..

There are 37 children in the year group. 32 have been invited. My DD is one of the children that hasn't.

Obviously I won't do anything but I feel sad that an adult has organised a big, special party and excluded 5 children from it.

DD has never fallen out with this child, BTW. I don't know, I have quite a good sense of fair play and to me that means all children in a big party situation are invited. Obviously very different for a small party .

If the birthday boy/ girl liked all but one of 14 people thanked she should be made to invite that person, or still if not hav a smaller party. How would you feel like if your child was the only child not to be invited to a class party. Hurt, upset for your dc

If it's a nasty bully that has made your child's schoollife bad than I would not invite them, but then again I avoid whole class parties, more hassle than they are worth. My dd party would be a mix of some from schooland some outside

HAS THE OP come back? if so, what page? thanks

Seems like we aren't going to get to the bottom of this one. Damn!

I think its wrong to not invite 5 out of 30, eith have all or half, not leave a few out.

on the other thread the 'horrible little bully' just turned 6 a few weeks ago - I't's quite sad that someone this age can be branded in such a horrible, negative way. The bully also invited the little boy to his party and he went. The mother does not want him excluded and has an invite for him but is worried about upsetting her son. Just to set the record straight as the mum is getting a bit of a pounding.

Marking my place...

Oh this thread is so sad and miniwedge - gosh that really brought a lump to my throat.

My ds aged 6 was the only boy not invited to a party earlier this year - he was so brave about it when he saw someone he considered to be a close friend hand out invites to the other 7 boys in his class but not him. I however walked back to my car and burst into tears.

We should surely teach our children to be kind and considerate but unfortunately there are an awful lot of people out there who think its only them who count.

I really hope that the mother of the inviter is a mn'er and reads this thread and reflects upon what she has done. I also hope that other people read this and think again about leaving out one or two children.

Hully - your post also made me so sad.

Maryz - I too don't often post on the party threads as get sick of reading the 'lifes unfair' crap - its up there with 'my house my rules' on the things that make me want to scream.

Nah Maryz the boys that bullied me had no SN they were nasty little shits, sorry they were. They knew exactly what they were doing, not all bullies have SN some are just nasty children and thats what they are. I was spat at, sworn at, weed on whilst others in the playground watched and laughed. Noway would I want any of them at my party. Oh and I had SN too (dyslexia, dyspraxia, dev delay) and that is part of why they picked on me and also my severe Eczema. I was only happy once I moved schools and knew the bullies would never come after me.

I am talking about 8,9,10 year olds btw.

Your stragergy might work for some but not others

Yes I was always not invited to parties when most of my classmates were.

Their background and homelife have no impact on me, all that they made my primary schoolife hell.

I don't care why a child is excluded - if they are the only boy/girl who isn't invited, it's horrible. Like I said earlier, excluding a few children in a class is fine, excluding one isn't. And by extension, excluding five children in a year isn't okay.

In any event, this thread isn't about excluding the bullies. It's about leaving out you pigletmania, and me. I would never, ever sanction my child doing that, however much I was bullied at school

Sorry I keep finding other things to say. Lastly, I will not use my dd party as a psychological experiment to see if I can 'cure' her bullies (not any yet thank goodness), that is not my problem, I will invite children who my dd likes and who do not make her sad or unhappy. But as I mentioned earlier, neither will I have whole class parties.

No Christine no I would never do that, funnily enough I will be in that position as my dd has possible ASD, social communication delay, speech and lang delay and emotional delay. I was as she had 7 party invites throught the year at pre school, and they were not whole class parties. I was never expecting and and was so happy for dd, of course dd did not understand but it was lovely that she was included. I don't know about when she starts school in September, I am not expecting anything, I just want her to be happy at school, but will have a party for her and just invite about 16 kids, some from school and some outside. So more than half her class will not be invited just a small number.

Piglet mania, I get what you're saying, I really do. But birthday parties aren't really comparable to this situation because there isn't just one birthday child who "owns" the right to celebrate the day iyswim. Graduating primary school is a big deal for all the children concerned and there really shouldn't be a shadow cast over some kids experience because of some adults thoughtlessness or indeed outright meanness.

I agree Twinkiesmum it is a leavers party so should have been an open invite to all leavers of year 6, not leave the 'uncool ones' which probably include those with SN,boffins, geeks or whoever the party boy does not like. Its like the parent has hyjacked things and it is unfair.

If children who are leaving are excluded from this 'leavers party' than it is not a year 6 leavers party, just a normal party.

1. The teachers (unless also family friends) should not be going, it's unprofessional.
2. It's very unfair not to have invited your DC.

Maybe you could do something special yourselves on the evening of the party that this child is having?

MrsCampbellBlack - that's really sad. Last year my DC didn't want to invite one particular girl in the class but that was the only girl who wasn't going to be invited. I intervened and she was invited along with the ones that DC chose, she does bully my DC or anything, they just don't play together.