to be upset at this children's party?

[sadaboutthismum]

I'm not sure if I am or not .
DD came home tonight and told me, very matter of factly, that a child in her class is having a year 6 leavers party and disco at his house. He was giving out invitations this week in front of the children who have not been invited. Two teachers are going aswell..

There are 37 children in the year group. 32 have been invited. My DD is one of the children that hasn't.

Obviously I won't do anything but I feel sad that an adult has organised a big, special party and excluded 5 children from it.

DD has never fallen out with this child, BTW. I don't know, I have quite a good sense of fair play and to me that means all children in a big party situation are invited. Obviously very different for a small party .

I totally agree that if I had an 'invited' child and knew this was what had been organised I'd not let my children attend and instead join in with organising an inclusive alternative.

I agree with swc wrt not making too big a deal of this, for your dd's sake.

By which I mean, rather than making a song and dance of it, suggesting you go and do something fun on a day that just so happens to coincide with the party. No mention of it being an alternative.

Children aren't stupid - your dd might still work out what's going on - but going in all guns blazing might make matters worse.

its always in this situation you wish the mother was a mumsnetter and was reading this right now and feeling shit.

please please let the pizza mum be on too.

I think I'd go down the 'quiet word with teacher, find out who's not invited and organise something else route.' but I would also mention it to other mums, so they were aware that some kids had been excluded. I remember the OP said that her younger kids are at the school so she will still see the PTA-PITA type parents for years to come so it is probably ill-advised to staple her head to a desk. If you're not seeing her again, I will gladly supply the staples and the stapler, and hold her down for you.

InLimboAgain

All this "her birthday's in August I can't have a party" is just silly. My birthday is in August and my mum always held my party early, at the end of the school term. I knew it was because people were away over summer holidays and got to celebrate twice. As i grew up (secondary school) it was always a bit upsetting that no-one was around on my birthday but it would have felt like a non-event if it wasn't celebrated at all. Its almost like you're punishing your daughter for having the misfortune to be born in august, I am sure she would love to have a birthday party with all her friends, even if it does have to be a month early (or even late).

Can you not imagine how she might feel if all her friends have parties and she never gets to have one?

Thanks for update, that's really shit though!! And those fucking teachers want stringing up

Agree with pinkcupcake Limbo
Both dcs are September babies so still a logistic problemre invites. They have had parties at Halloween and even half way through November. They loved late birthday parties, it gave them something else to look forward to.

YANBU - this 'mother' is an utter bully. I agree you should have a word with the head, especially if the teachers are going.

I wonder if telling the parents of the invited kids that 5 had been excluded would make a difference - they ought to boycott it, but if she is one of the 'popular mums' as you said they will probably all make some pathetic excuse about "not wanting to take sides/blah blah blah"

I am so sorry any kid has to go through this. As others have said, if this happenned at work it is a possible disciplinary issue.
Exclusion IS a form of bullying.

I would definitely be talking to the head especially if you know for definite that teachers are going

My dd & her friend changed schools this year & are in the same class. 2 girls had parties recently & my dd was invited to one (a slumber party), and her friend (L) invited to the other (pool).

L was distraught that she wasn't invited to the slumber party & was crying because of it, asking her mum why she wasn't invited as her & dd are best friends. Her mum explained that she isn't going to be invited everywhere that dd is. But she is still sulking about it, and cut dd off very aggressively when she tried to talk about it recently.

When the pool party invites came out, dd was fine with it. Said perhaps the party girl was only able to invite a few..

My daughter is almost 8 & understand that life isn't always about getting invited to all the parties, so I would expect at 11, that others know it too.

And tbh. do you really want her at a party that
1] you had to 'beg' for an invite for
and
2] where the host is, as you say, 'spiteful little shit'?

differentnameforthis - the circumstances here aren't the same at all.

This is a leavers' party. Almost the entire year have been invited, and teachers too.

Is there anymore news op? I find the whole thing shocking and dreading my dc starting school

differentnameforthis. I don't see how bragging about what a wonderful child you have helps. This is a completely different situation to a few children being invited to a pool party

Anymore news OP, have you spoken to any of the other parents?

Yes, any news, OP?

If the teachers actually attend this party, I would take it to the board of governors. They are knowingly colluding in the bullying/exclusion of the 5 children involved, why on earth shouldn't there be sanctions for that???
Blow it wide open now, for the sake of future kids who will doubtless have the same treatment if it goes unchecked

bump

Any more news?

Op, tell us what happened?

Any news OP?

Bumping out of nosiness.