to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

[Hullygully]

I am tatting a life boat.

I have faith, Mistress Mini, I do

I have been really good.

And done no troll hunting at all.

Where are we off too? The Dancing Doctor begins to weary me with his fractious ways....am faintly tempted by a manly builder of Obvious Means who resides much closer to me....

You surely aren't wearying of his Forearms already?

What fractiousness?

I fear that while I may not be Beyond Childbearing Age, the dear Doctor really desires more ninos....and I really don't think this is something I can contemplate again...

The Captain has advised the ship will not clear the harbour with this amount of luggage

Mistress Mini is worn out after tatting the lifeboat poor gel

So please dear gels, go light on the crinoline and be aware we can only take this much

Madame D, sorry to hear about fractiousness and the Dancing Doctor.

Perhaps when we are on the high seas you may have time to advise me. You talk of Dancing Doctors and Manly Builders. The only male who has chosen to speak to me this week was the School Caretaker. As he is approaching retirement age and was mainly interested in the ongoing saga of the laminating machine, I fear we have no future.

I know a dog called Eric. He is possibly the only dog on the planet who is more neurotic and over-excitable than mine.

Mistress Fell, your dog is more than welcome to join you on our voyage, although you may need to start tatting him a life-jacket. Be assured we are used to the neurotic and over-excitable and whereas our expertise may tend to the human sort, recent experience has shown we can cope with the animal too.
Mistress Mini is expanding her herbari herbori book.

Mistress Fiderer, I pray you, if Mimi advises you to use the 'love tap' technique in order to lure in Gentlemen, please nod and smile, and politely slip away.

Can one have a quiche within a quiche?

Lark's tongue and Nutella sandwich, anyone? It really hits the spot.

Love Tap? Before my time? At a loss as am well, at a loss.
Am so very much in the dark I could be stumbling around the cellar with Cook and you could not wish that on me.

And I have to go back to school again and despite the presence of many athletic young men there this weekend the only one who will seek me out is the Caretaker.

I was there 3 hours ago (tis an odd weekend) and he has changed his fixation from the laminating machine to the giant stapler. If he ends up singing outside my window I may weep.

You've got to love a laminating machine. It's when he tries to lure you into Ye Olde Schoole Boiler House you need to worry.

Indeed. His affections lie firmly with the Machinery and I think it is clear where our mutual interest lies. Singing under my window most unlikely.

My question is why no one not fixated with small School Implements talks to me?
Do I exude something odd? A whiff of laminating fluid? 300 children crowded around me earlier which was lovely, if a little loud (ears pop) but no one over the age of 12.
A Gel yearns for the occasional verbal exchange with an adult over the age of 12. Height not a factor.

They are intimidated by your mystical power over children. They fear you hail from Hamlyn.

Found where Mistress HoneyZombie gets her supplies

Every body loves a laminating machine though. Everybody. Its a fact

I really really (and I appreciate that this is off topic but bear with me) want one of those machines that dry out things, you know orange slices for christmas decorations etc. I could get irrationally excited by one. Its a bit like the way Cook got when Mr Rochester invented the clockwork potato peeler and we had to padlock her into her underwear.

I don't like any of that stuff

I like wine and straight talking (perhaps done a bit too much of that since returning from an early dinner but hey ho)

Sorry Mistress Hully. I will try to mend my ways with regards to useless gadgets of dubious nature.

I didn't even know there was such a Machine for Drying Things and orange slices are one of Nature's more lovely gifts to us. Sounds wonderful.

Perhaps Mistress Hully will in time become enlightened. For now I have had Watkins clear the shed next to the distillery herb-drying shed and we may safely use it as a Gadget shed. There are soft cloths available should there be a need to stroke and smoothe.

We need a better name than Gadget Shed, something which will not attract Mistress Hully's attention.

And no one has yet explained what "Love Tap" is and how it may or may not avail me in conversing with a male over 12 and under 63.

I have placed this on the shed door.

Ooooh, a dehydrator. If you're of that ilk, you can dry all manner of things and stockpile and use for stews and such, though there is something rather unwholesome-feeling about using dried onions and dried tomatoes. I wonder for the fate of the vitamins. Still, it would save us some room in the herb-drying shed, giving us more room for building that large still tapestry that Mini has been planning.

I shall search the scrolls for the Love Tap, for it is best to read it in all its original glory, I think.

But first....